Sins of Sevin

Techno music was pumping through the room as multi-colored lights illuminated the dark and gritty space. Smoke filled the air, and the smell of booze was pungent. Evangeline was nowhere in sight as I looked around with my black hood over my head.

Taking a seat in the corner, I let out a deep breath as a blonde waitress approached my table. “What can I do you for, handsome?”

“Give me the strongest drink you have. Please.”

She returned with an unidentifiable amber-colored liquid that smelled medicinal.

“Thanks.”

“It’s my pleasure. Guys like you don’t walk in here every day. You should take that hood off. Show your gorgeous face and eyes. Let me know if you want a lap dance. The girls will be fighting over who gets to do it.”

I breathed out a sigh of relief when she walked away. The last thing I needed was someone drawing any attention to me.

A quick scan of the room revealed that Evangeline was still nowhere to be found. On the stage, two redheads with fake breasts were dancing together and rubbing up on each other. Their bodies were well-oiled as they grinded together. They exited the stage and were quickly replaced by a blonde with pigtails and a short skirt doing a schoolgirl routine to a Britney Spears song. Her tits were hanging completely bare out of her open collared shirt while she sucked on a rainbow-colored lollipop. I watched for a while before turning my attention away and getting lost in my own thoughts.

The more time that passed, the more on edge my mood became. When the music suddenly stopped and the lighting changed, my full attention returned to the stage. My breath caught as a slow and sultry Amy Winehouse song began to play. It was a rendition of Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.

A spotlight landed on the mane of black hair cascading down her back.

Fuck.

My breathing became labored, and I sucked down my second shot.

How the hell in God’s name had it come to this? How did she end up in this place?

Her back was facing me. The entire routine was performed from the chair she was straddling. She’d cross her legs or flip them around slow and sensually with graceful precision. She was basically making love to that chair. I stood up in amazement, still far enough away that she wouldn’t have been able to see me.

So many mixed emotions were running through me. Sadness, because I couldn’t understand why someone as bright as she was needed to exploit her body for money. Fear, because I worried about what else may have happened to have gotten her to this place. Anger at myself, because I cared so fucking much.

Most troubling was the intense desire awakening in me. I was supposed to hate this person for ruining my life. Instead, I stood there captivated, enraptured, wishing desperately to be that chair under her. It was a stark reminder of the sexual power she’d always had over me. But this situation—being a mere spectator, unable to touch her—took it to a completely different level. I was hard as a rock.

Equal parts disturbed and aroused, I continued to watch every movement of her body. Evangeline was wearing an open white dress shirt with a black bra underneath. When she took the shirt off, I swallowed hard because I knew what was coming. With her eyes closed, she gyrated her hips slowly as she unsnapped the back of her bra. It fell lazily to the floor. Those big, beautiful pear-shaped breasts that once belonged to me now hung freely for all the world to see. I looked around me for the first time. Almost all eyes in the room were planted on her, and then I felt sick to my stomach. Just sick. Sick that they were all watching her and even sicker for my body’s reaction to it.

Exactly how far did Evangeline take things? I was still standing at my table when the waitress came back with another drink.

I pointed to the stage. “How much for a lap dance with her later?”

“Sienna? She doesn’t do lap dances, honey. Sorry. She’s one of the conservative ones. Probably why every guy that walks in this place wants her. But there are plenty of other girls that will do that…and more for you. I can bring you to the back room if you want?”

Sienna.

Fuck.

She was using the name Sienna.

“No. Thank you.” A sense of relief coursed through me, knowing that at least she’d set some boundaries. But why did she have to do this at all? And how the fuck could her so-called husband drop his own wife off to strip for other men?

Downing the last shot in one gulp, I anticipated the song was about to finish. Before I knew it, she’d exited the stage. I didn’t understand why, but all of a sudden my emotional state felt so out of control. Confusion. Jealousy. Curiosity. Desire. Possession.

Sadness.

Pure sadness.

The last five years might as well have been five minutes.

I needed to see her.

Walking over to the waitress, I made a rash decision. “I would like a private dance with Sienna.”

“I told you, honey, she doesn’t do that.”

“Tell her I’d be willing to pay ten-thousand dollars.”

“You’re not serious.”

“Would the money be going to her?”

“All but ten percent.”

“Taking my credit card out of my wallet, I said, “Run it.”

I knew the amount had to be an offer that she couldn’t refuse. Seeing the squalor she lived amongst, I suspected she might be willing to consider my proposition.

“I’ll be right back. I need to talk to her.”

“Please don’t tell her my name.”

“Don’t worry. We use upmost discretion here.”