New Year's Eve

“This is a choice. I made a choice as soon as I followed you into this room. I love my son,” my voice grew gruff with emotion, “But I can’t bear the idea of you thinking I don’t want you or need you enough to fight for this. Because I do. I have tried not to for nearly two years because I didn’t want to complicate everything for everyone. Dex thinks I’ll just get what I want from you and move on… But he doesn’t know I’m in love with you. It took me years to find you and I’m a selfish bastard for wanting to keep you, but if you feel even half of what I feel, I’m willing to fight for this.”

I felt her relax beneath me; her features softening with wonder. “You love me?”

“Don’t you love me?” my heart pounded now, waiting for her to crush it or not.

“I… I…” Tears filled her eyes, and she began straining against my hold. “Get off me, Joe. Please, get off me!”

I instantly let go of her, gently pulling out and rolling off her. An ache I’d never felt before gripped tight to my chest as Ryan scrambled off the bed to get away from me. Jesus, was I just a foolish asshole thinking a young, vibrant woman like her would want something serious with me, a man sixteen years her senior? Had I read the situation so wrong?

As she hurried to dress, I felt paralyzed.

Until her soft sobs cut through my hurt. “Ry…” I pushed up off the bed, but she turned her head toward me as she pulled up her jeans. Tears streamed down her face.

“Don’t,” she choked out. “Please. Don’t. I’m going to get in my car and leave and we’re not going to speak of this again.”

Fuck me. I looked away because looking at her hurt too much. “We can never talk about this if that’s what you want. But I’m not letting you drive back to Sacramento alone. You’ve barely slept all week and you haven’t eaten in God knows how long.”

“You think I can stay here? After that?”

I glared at her as I got off the bed. She averted her gaze as I pulled my boxers and jeans up. “Yeah, but don’t worry. I’ll stay out of your way.” I stormed out of the room, shaking. Jesus Christ. I’d been crushed by a fucking twenty-four-year-old woman.

I should never have followed her into that room.

RYAN

It was hunger pangs that forced me out of the bedroom a few hours later. Joe, thankfully, was nowhere in sight. His truck was still here, so I guessed he’d just gone for a walk.

Guilt suffused me.

And cowardice.

While I’d felt euphoric at Joe’s confession of love, I’d also felt absolutely terrified by it.

I’d never expected to feel for any man the way I felt about Joe.

But the truth was he was older than me… and one day he wouldn’t be here anymore, and I was so scared of that. Wasn’t it easier to just walk away now than to fall deeper and deeper in love with him, only to inevitably lose him?

I could kill my sister.

After shoveling down some cereal I found in the pantry, I grabbed my phone out of my purse. It needed charged, but there was just enough battery to call Shaw.

She answered on the third ring. “If you’re calling to berate me, please don’t.”

I slumped down on the corner sofa near the fire that was crackling. Joe had obviously gotten it started before he escaped the cabin. My heart ached with renewed guilt. “Why did you do this?”

“Because she’s nuts!” I heard Dex yell in the background.

It made me smile sadly. “I take it Dex found out.”

“Yeah, and he’s not happy with me, but I told him if my little plan works out he can’t give you or his dad a hard time.”

“Shaw…” tears filled my voice.

“Oh, Ry, shit… I’m sorry. Did I read it wrong? You don’t love Joe back?”

There was that word again.

“What made you think Joe and I are in love?”

“Because her head is in the clouds!” Dex called out. Shaw obviously had me on speakerphone.

“No, it isn’t. Anyone with eyes can see it. Even Renee can see it. You just don’t want to because Joe’s your dad,” Shaw replied. “Please tell me I’m right, Ry?”

“I can’t talk about this in front of Dex.”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Dex grumbled, much louder in my ear this time suggesting he’d taken the phone off Shaw, “Look, Dad isn’t answering his phone, so I texted him. I told him that if this is what you really want, then I won’t stand in your way. I just hope you’ve really thought it through. There’s an age difference here, Ry. And I don’t want my dad to fuck you around. I told him I will kill him if he does.”