Fractured

Chapter Nine

Autumn

Time has passed. Too much time.

I haven’t heard from him since he left, and it’s been months. I haven’t counted the days because it seemed pointless. With each week that slipped by, I knew I wasn’t going to see him anytime soon.

I haven’t ventured to the places that reminded me of him. I focused on school. Now that I’ve chosen to study music, to follow in the footsteps of my mother, I feel like perhaps there’s a chance I can heal.

My momma was glad to see me leave my bedroom, to hear that I wanted to go to college. Even though I still felt like a shell of who I was with him, I know I can’t sit frozen in place for the rest of my life.

Even though I want to.

Even though I’d love to spend my days crying in my bedroom, the world is still spinning, and it’s going to leave me behind if I don’t force myself out every day. All I can do is attempt to continue on and pray that sometime soon, he’ll return.

It’s my first day of school at the incredible Manhattan School of Music. The same place my momma studied when she was my age, and I feel aimless and lonely. Even though the other students have been welcoming, I still miss him so much. I can’t mention his name. Just the thought of him, his smile, his laugh, even just the utterance of him makes my chest ache.

I feel as if I’ve been pushed into a dream, and I’m not escaping anytime soon. My mother says I’ll grow out of it, that I’ll get over him, but I don’t see how that’s possible. He’s been my life for so long, and perhaps it’s a bad idea to even think that way. I’m young, but I can’t stop my mind from replaying our life together.

“Hi.” A voice startles me as I make my way through the doors. I turn to find wide blue eyes staring back at me. The boy looking at me is the complete opposite of him, and I nod in greeting. “You’re Autumn?” he asks, looking at me expectantly.

“Yeah.”

I must look confused because he tells me, “I’m in your classical piano class.” The blue in his eyes flickers when he stares at me. His smile brings dimples to his cheeks, and his tousled blond hair hangs over his forehead. He looks like a nice person, but I’m most definitely not in the mood to be friendly.

“Okay.”

“I just wanted to say hi. I notice you’re alone, and I hope you don’t mind me being so nosy, but don’t you have any friends here?”

He’s right. I am always on my own. It never occurred to me that people would notice. Everyone always seems to be on their own mission, and I figured I could be too. “Yeah. I mean, I haven’t had a chance to meet anyone yet. It’s my first day.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Why?” I look up at him, his grin even wider, making his dimples even deeper. He’s cute. And I wonder if he’s trying to flirt with me. I’m not really well-versed in the normal mating rituals of teenagers. I want to laugh at my thoughts, knowing that if he were here, he’d make fun of me for even saying something like that.

“I just thought a girl so pretty shouldn’t be alone.” The boy shrugs. He doesn’t close the distance between us, which makes me feel comfortable talking to him. I don’t like it when people stand too close to me or try to invade my personal space; if that happened to me, I’d lose it.

“I don’t think that being pretty should be a reason to have friends.” I glance around, noting that nobody has moved to class yet, so I look back at him. “I think friendships should start because you want to make the person smile. To get to know the personality rather than be intrigued by looks.”

“Beauty and intelligence,” the stranger says, then laughs, and for a split second, I’m reminded of him. He said he’s in my piano class, but even though I try to place his face, I don’t remember seeing him. All I can do is smile at his words. I don’t know why I’m acting like this; I should be able to be nice to people. He pulls out something from his pocket, handing it to me. “It looks like you need this more than I do.”

I glance at the object, finding a candy bar in his hand. It’s not a Snickers bar, but still, my heart thuds against my ribs painfully. I’m taken back to the day I met my best friend, to the day I was so sad. I shared my lunch, and the next day, we shared a candy bar. The day I knew that boy would be forever in my heart.