Payback

I wanted him to rot in prison, getting ass raped by men ten times his size, and forced to dance to someone else’s tune for what he’d done to my sister and Shay.

And now, for what he’d done to Holly.

“Baby, we need to find a book. It’s always with him. Help me find it,” I told her as I started to ransack the room.

Holly quickly found a shirt and pulled it on, covering herself, then began ruffling through drawers and closets.

Johnny said Butcher kept it with him at all times. I spied the discarded clothing in a heap and went to the jacket, searching the interior pocket.

My fingers found a soft-bound book, small enough to fit in my palm and pulled it out. I leafed through it with trembling hands, not wanting to celebrate too quickly.

But when I saw names and dollar amounts attached to each one, I knew I’d found what I was looking for.

I turned to motion to Holly but she was already running to me, clutching me tightly.

“Kiss me, Cason,” she begged, tears streaming down her beautiful face. “He forced me to kiss him. I need to taste of him out of my mouth.”

She didn’t need to say more. I drank in her kiss, holding her tight against me, so relieved she was okay but also consumed with murderous rage that Butcher had dared to touch my woman.

Holly was mine and I’d kill anyone who thought otherwise.

She was my queen, not his captive.

I kissed her hard, showing her with the force of my mouth that she needn’t fear when I was there to protect her. I’d never let anyone harm her again and that was a solemn vow I made in the blood and tears of my soul.

In a haze of desire, I reluctantly broke the kiss, knowing we didn’t have the luxury of indulging in our passion, not until I knew she was truly safe.

I started to say, “We need to—“ but I was cut short as Holly screamed and crumpled in my arms, a large red splotch spreading angrily across her belly.

“Did you think I would let you have her?” Butcher asked, the gun smoking in his hand. He must’ve had a gun hidden under the bed, I realized, stunned as I slowly went to the floor with Holly. “She was mine, you son-of-a-bitch.” Tears sparkled in his eyes as if he were genuinely broken hearted to have pulled the trigger. “You did this,” he told me, pointing the gun at me. “Now you get to die with her.”

I had nothing to lose now.

Holly was dead.

Gunfire erupted outside the house and I knew Tito was taking care of the security detail but I was going to die in this room.

Butcher narrowed his gaze at me. “Who the fuck are you?”

I stared with white-hot rage. “You killed my sister’s best friend, Shay Trunnel and then you shot my sister, Christine.” And now, Holly. FUCK! The howl in my heart nearly shattered my mind but I wanted to be clearheaded when the final moment came.

“Shay….” Butcher repeated the name as if he didn’t recall, then grinned, wiping at the blood dripping from his head with his free hand, saying, “Yeah, I remember her. Vaguely. Was she worth dying for?”

Yes.

I remained silent.

“I ought to keep you alive just to make you my personal fuck-boy,” he said, his hard eyes glittering. “I have a thing for nice tight assholes. I like ripping them open. How tight is your ass, boy?”

That fucking arrogance got to me. He knew he’d won and he was flaunting it in my face. I couldn’t take it. If I was going to die, I was going to go down swinging.

With a roar, I leaped at Butcher, startling him as I tackled, knocking his unwieldy body to the ground as we scrabbled for the his gun.

I couldn’t reach my own gun without letting go of Butcher and I was doing all I could to keep him from getting another shot off.

I buried my knee in his fleshy, old-man nuts and he groaned with the pain. Rolling away, I reached behind me and managed to grab my gun, wasting no time in popping off a shot right in his fucking face.

Butcher splattered everywhere, bits and pieces of the fucker landed on every surface and still I wanted him alive so I could shoot him again.

I returned to Holly and cradled her softly, crying as I held everything of value in my arms.

Then, I realized she was still breathing. Shallow as fuck, but breathing.

The bullet must’ve missed a major artery, I realized wildly, calling Tito.

“Yeah?” Tito shouted above the gunfire. “You got the book?”

“Holly’s been shot,” I shouted back, my hands covered in her blood as I tried to apply pressure to the wound. “We have to get her out of here!”

“On my way,” he said and clicked off.

I held Holly, praying for a miracle even though I didn’t deserve one. I couldn’t lose her when I’d only just found her.

Time ceased to matter as I held her close. I would follow her to the grave if she didn’t make it.

I had nothing left to cling to.

Chapter 35

Holly

I awoke to the steady blip of monitors. My eyes fluttered open, sticking as if they were partially taped shut.

I focused my blurry vision and found myself in a hospital, alive.

The last thing I remembered was the mother of all pain ripping through my stomach as I slid to the ground in a heap, quickly losing consciousness.

Panic spread through me as awareness became crystal clear. I’d been shot.

Butcher had shot me.

What if…what if I’d been pregnant? Was I still pregnant? I blinked as tears squeezed from my eyes. Where was Cason? “Cason,” I called out, my voice rusty and scratchy like I’d smoked ten packs a day since I was twelve. “Cason?”

And then he appeared, a styrofoam cup in his hand, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep.

“Holly,” he exclaimed, dumping the coffee in the trash without a second thought, coming straight to me. The tears were immediate for us both. I couldn’t quite manage words just yet but I asked him silently when I needed to know.

Cason’s sorrow reflected in his soulful eyes and I knew that I’d been pregnant…but I wasn’t any longer.

“What happened?” I asked, my throat tight with unshed tears.

“Butcher shot you in the stomach. You were early in the pregnancy. The doctor said that the bullet ripped through the amniotic sac and killed what would’ve been our baby.”

My brain was sluggish but I did the math. I’d been barely pregnant, a cluster of cells had begun to form in my womb. And yet, the sadness was nearly unbearable.

Our baby had died because of Butcher.

I looked to Cason and I could tell his heart was breaking for me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“For what?” he asked as if I were crazy. “Babe, you were shot and nearly killed by a sociopath. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Our baby died because of me,” I said, a painful hiccup pulling at the stitches holding my guts together. I covered my face with my hands, unable to look him in the eyes. How could he forgive me? I would never forgive myself.

But Cason wouldn’t let me shoulder the blame. With a firm but gentle hand, he pulled my hands away to pin me with his gaze. I saw love and acceptance, but not an ounce of blame.

“Holly…when I thought you were dead…my world ended,” he admitted, causing my heart to flutter as tears started fresh. “I’ve spent the last three days sitting by your side, praying you would wake up. I prayed that God would wake Christine but he never did. Somehow, for reasons I can’t understand but I’m so thankful, you woke up. You survived. And I’m never going to let a day go by that you don’t know how much I need you in my life.”

“What happened to Butcher?” I asked, fearful that he would come after us.

“He’s dead,” Cason answered, his gaze darkening. “I shot his face off. And I would do it again.”

I didn’t care that Butcher was dead but I didn’t want Cason going to prison for the crime.

“What are we going to do?” I asked

weakly. “We need a good attorney…”

“Stop,” he said gently. “Everything is fine. Or, it will be. I gave the black book to the Feds. Told them that it was self-defense, which it was. They were so happy to have the book, they didn’t care about the details.”

“The Feds are willing to look the other way?” I asked, shocked. “Does that even happen for real?”

“All I know is that it’s happening for me. I don’t give a shit about how it happens for other people.”

Relief cascaded through me and I broke down in happy tears this time. Butcher wouldn’t be coming after us. We could actually start over, plan a real future together.

Cason tenderly wiped away the moisture, his gaze so loving I nearly started weeping all over again.

“Am I dreaming?” I asked, suddenly doubting that any of this was real. “Or am I…dead?”

“Neither,” he answered, smiling. “But looking at you right now, I have to wonder the same thing on my end. I never want to go through that again, Holly. Ever.”

I nodded, agreeing. Being shot was not fun.

“Whatever you want, Holly…all you have to do is ask. You’ve changed my life. You’re everything I never realized I wanted and I’m never going back to the way it was before.”

There were so many questions to ask, so many hurdles to jump but I was willing to do whatever it took to make it work because the man in front of me was my other half.

Together we would figure it out.

Cason held my gaze and stroked my cheek lightly as I leaned into his touch. I knew what I wanted and I was going to ask for it.

No more pining for a life that wasn’t destined to be mine.

No more half-lives for me.

“I want another baby,” I whispered, knowing in my heart that this was right.

“Are you sure?” Cason asked but a smile had begun playing on his lips as hope sprang into his eyes. “You really want a baby with me?”

“Like nothing I’ve ever wanted in my life.”