The Nurse's Secret

‘How soon can we catch up? I want to talk with you, see you, hold...’ He stuttered to a stop, blinking furiously.

Had he made a mistake, saying that? Her shoulders slumped. Of course he had. But it did seem she rattled him as much as he did her. Something else they had in common, along with understanding each other without explanation. She took the bull by the horns, laid her hand on his arm, breathed deeply, and said, ‘Coffee after work tomorrow?’

‘Not a mojito?’

Knowing where those led, she shook her head. ‘No.’ She relaxed enough to grin, though gulping would’ve been easier. His face wore a teasing expression, but his eyes held a perplexed element to his mirth. It wound her tighter, while heating her blood. This man was a puzzle. She enjoyed puzzles, especially hot, friendly, fun puzzles.

‘I’ll be finished around six. That work for you?’

‘Yes, perfect.’ Hopefully her parents would understand and babysit. Today she needed to get home.

To hold my girl and reassure myself I’m about to do the right thing.

‘Done. Where’s home these days?’

‘Same place.’ Had she told him last time? ‘Harlow.’

The door swung wide and Jason strolled in. ‘All right if I grab some lunch?’ he asked Stacey.

‘Go ahead. We’ve finished in here.’ Ignoring the way Noah lifted one eyebrow in her direction, she headed out. ‘Phone me here where to meet you,’ she said quietly.

‘No problem.’ His devastating smile set sparks flicking right down to her toes and all places in between.

* * *

By three o’clock and shift handover she couldn’t wait to get out of the place, away from constantly looking over her shoulder to see if Noah might’ve popped onto the ward, even though it was impossible since he was in Theatre all afternoon.

She couldn’t believe her luck when there were seats available on the train home. She wouldn’t have to swing from the ceiling handles while thinking about the day she’d just had. Sinking down on the seat, she tipped her head back and closed her eyes. Noah was back in her life, this time for a lot longer than one night.

Memories slammed into Stacey. His laugh was her favourite. It made her toes curl and her heart soften when she’d believed that would be impossible. There were the hot, sexy images as they’d danced. Even hotter and sexier ones in that hotel room. Hardly solid proof that he was a good man, the sort of man to be a wonderful father. While gut instinct said he would be, how reliable was that? She could be deluding herself because she was attracted to him. So much relied on her getting this right. So, so much.

Holly’s giggling face leapt into her mind, shoving Noah aside. Her little girl, the love of her life.

I promise with all my heart to love and care for you, to do whatever it takes to make you happy and safe, to be the best mother I possibly can be.

The first words she’d spoken to Holly when the midwife had placed her in her arms after the birth. Now she had to tell Noah about his daughter. Yes, she did. All part of the promise to Holly. The sooner the better; get it over and done with. If he really was the man her tingling nerves said he was, then all would be fine. If she found he wasn’t, then what? It was highly unlikely and, regardless, he was still Holly’s father.

For three years she’d continued checking with friends at other hospitals, and especially those at London General, if they’d heard of him, and come up with nada. Every time it’d saddened her, made her think she might never again know the man who’d brought her alive the way he’d done that night. And that Holly would never know her dad.

Now he’d turned up she wasn’t quite as prepared as she’d expected to be. Holly should be her main, and only, consideration. She had to be certain her girl would be safe and loved by her father. She would tell him tomorrow night.

Leaping off the train at her stop, she all but ran home, and burst in through the front door. ‘Holly! Mummy’s home.’ Dumping her bag on the floor, she raced through the house, barely able to breathe for the need to hold her girl blocking her throat.

‘We’re in my office,’ her father called.

‘Holly, love, where are you?’ She shot through the door and scooped her baby into her arms and held her close, brushing kisses over her head. ‘Oh, my girl, Mummy loves you so much.’

Holly wriggled and pushed at her mother.

‘Sorry, am I holding you too tight?’ Stacey loosened her grip but didn’t put her down.

At his desk, her father was watching them with a question in his eyes.

She looked away, returned to gazing at her precious girl, who was wriggling harder.

‘You want to get down?’

Holly nodded. ‘Please, Mummy.’

‘Okay.’ It was hard letting her go, as though this was a warning of how it might be in the future. Weekends with Daddy, weekdays and nights with Mummy. No way. She couldn’t give up any time with her daughter. Her eyes watered as she set Holly on her feet and didn’t let go of her arm for a moment too long.

Holly bounced away, leaving her mum’s heart cracking.

Her dad stood up and came across the room. ‘You’ve found him?’

‘Noah, Dad. His name’s Noah.’ Her father knew her too well. As long as he didn’t see her excitement and bewilderment and start asking unanswerable questions.

‘That’s a yes, then. I’m glad you’re sticking up for him like that. It’s a good sign. Where did you bump into him?’

‘He’s now working at London Riverside. On the surgical ward. He never worked at London General, only went to their ball for his friend’s sake.’ Her body was shaking, releasing some of the tension that had been growing all day. ‘He started while I was on holiday. Who’d have thought after all the trouble I’ve gone to trying to track him down?’

‘You’ve talked?’

Her head dipped in acknowledgement. ‘About patients, about us knowing each other briefly. He calls me Anastasia.’ Her voice rose. ‘No one calls me that.’ But it’d been the only name he knew for her. ‘I like it,’ she admitted. Then she looked to her father, as she had often in her life, because he’d been her rock whenever things turned to custard. ‘Dad, what am I going to do?’

Reaching for her, he wrapped her in a familiar hug. ‘You already know the answer to that. You’d have told him years ago if you’d been able to. It’s not as if you didn’t want to contact him.’

Stepping out of her dad’s arms, she sat on the edge of his desk. ‘I haven’t found out where he’s been yet, but when I do I’ll brain him for not telling me his full name and phone number at the time.’ Finally she began relaxing. ‘It’s going to be all right.’ It had to be. Her gaze swooped over Holly, and her heart clenched with love. ‘It will be.’ Just who she was reassuring she wasn’t sure, but she had to believe it or everything would become a nightmare.

* * *

Noah let himself into his house and dropped the keys on the oak side table before heading to the sitting room and a large glass of whisky. What a day. Standing at the French doors leading out onto a patio, he stared blindly at the garden beyond. Anastasia had fallen back into his life. Just as easily as leaves being blown off the trees outside.

Sipping his drink, he tried to empty his head of images of Anastasia. Or Stacey Wainwright. Either version of her name was as pretty as she was beautiful. To him she was Anastasia, and always would be, which suggested he wanted a lot more contact with her now they’d met again. Contact, or something stronger? Deeper?

Could he be overreacting to this stunning woman who came with memories he hadn’t managed to delete? Memories that kept him awake some nights, tightening his belly, heating his skin. They’d never faded, not a bit. They’d given him a better reason to return to London than bailing Robert out of the financial debacle he’d got into, even if he hadn’t known if he’d find her. She might’ve even been the reason behind

his feeling of missing something important if he continued to stay away.

Yet now Anastasia had resurfaced he was afraid. She might be attractive and funny and delightful, but that wasn’t enough incentive to risk his heart. Just because he felt excited at seeing her again, it didn’t make her the woman for him. What with moving back into his London house, organising and attending meetings to resolve Robert’s financial crisis, as well as taking on the positions as head general surgeon at London Riverside and the private practice, it made sense that his brain was miles behind with what had happened today.