Breaking All Their Rules

*

Olivia rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. The sunlit ceiling.

‘What time is it?’

Eight thirty-five, according to the screen on her phone.

She’d missed a load of texts while in the land of nod, starting last night.

Josaia says hi to Dr Olivia. He’s doing fine and can’t wait to be up and running around, despite the pain. Hope you’re sleeping and don’t get this till the morning. Hugs, Zac.

Thinking of you, and wishing we were back on Tokoriki enjoying dinner under the palm trees. More hugs, Zac.

Hitting the sack now. See you in the morning.

No, you won’t. I’ve got a mother to sort out, and wounds to lick.

Outside your door with breakfast.

Had Zac knocking on the door been what had woken her? Olivia leapt out of bed and headed down the hall.

Wait up. You’re going to let Zac in? Think about this. Is it wise when you’re going to walk away from him again? It’s not fair on him to be running hot and cold all the time. Either let him into your life or cut all ties—now.

Her feet dragged as she turned for the kitchen and the kettle. Strong coffee was needed. Her heart was so slow it was in danger of stopping. She didn’t want Zac gone but what else could she do? She had nothing to offer him.

She loved Zac. She knew it bone deep. He was the one for her. Sniff. But she wasn’t right for him. Never would be.

With two coffees on board and a hot shower having washed away the sleep sludge on her skin, Olivia headed out her front door to see Josaia, and tripped over a paper bag with a takeout logo on it. Breakfast. Gluggy cold pancakes, bacon, and maple syrup filled the container she opened. ‘Oh, Zac, you’re making this so hard for me.’

She dropped the bag into her rubbish bin and headed for her garage, only remembering when the door rolled open that her car was still in the hospital’s car park. Back inside the house she changed her shoes. Walking to the hospital would help clear her head.

Maybe.

*

Josaia was arguing with Donny about getting out of bed when Olivia arrived at his room. ‘I don’t like staying in bed.’

‘You have to wait until Dr Olivia’s checked you over,’ his grandfather growled.

‘If Josaia’s that keen to get up then there’s no reason why he shouldn’t,’ Olivia told them.

Josaia grinned. ‘See?’ But when he moved pain filled his face and he stopped.

‘Take it slowly.’ Olivia spoke firmly. ‘I need to look at your face first. Then you’d better be careful what you do until Dr Zac sees you.’ She needed to get out of there before he turned up and started asking why she hadn’t returned any of his messages.

‘He came when I was asleep.’ Josaia slowly sat up, his damaged cheek turned up to her. ‘My face is better, isn’t it?’

If he could think that with a line of stitches running down his cheek then he was well on the way to recovery. ‘Lots better.’

‘My friends are going to like me again.’

Thud. Olivia’s heart sank. ‘Josaia, you are still going to have a scar, just not as obvious and no more lumps and bumps.’

‘My arm’s going to work properly.’

‘Soon, yes. You have to do a lot of work first, exercises that Dr Zac will show you.’ But those friends? ‘Let’s take everything slowly, eh?’ She sat down beside him and turned his head so that the overhead light shone on the wound. No redness or puffiness, just a neat line that would heal into a thin, flat scar that over time would fade to a pale mark on his skin. ‘That’s looking good.’ Pride filled her. Hopefully she’d made this boy’s life a little easier.

If only her mother was as easily pleased when she visited later.

*

‘I am not going into one of those rehab places. They’re full of pious do-gooders who think having a drink is a crime.’

Clocked driving at eighty-five Ks per hour in a residential area while drunk was a crime. ‘You’re lucky Judge Walters has given you another chance to fix your life. He’s ordered you to go into a clinic. If you don’t you’ll appear before him again and this time he’ll throw the book at you. You already have one drunk-driving conviction.’ She drew in a breath. ‘I’ve made you an appointment for tomorrow at the clinic in Remuera. I’ll come with you.’

‘Bet that man you went away with wouldn’t do anything naughty, like having a drink too many.’

Olivia sighed at her mother’s classic tactic of changing the subject. ‘Leave Zac out of this.’

‘Why? You got the hots for him?’

I don’t want him sullied by you. ‘We’re friends, nothing more.’ Nothing less either. If only…

‘He’s cocky, thinks he’s every woman’s gift.’ Her mother looked smug as she raised her coffee to her lips, then put it down without a sip.

‘No, Mum, he does not.’ Confident, comfortable in his own skin, but not cocky.

‘You watch. He’ll get what he wants from you and walk away. He’s not the settling-down type.’

Mum always aimed for the bull’s-eye. Never missed either. ‘You know an awful lot about Zac for having spent very little time with him.’

‘He’s going to hurt you, darling. Trust me, I know men and how they operate. You are fair game with this one.’

She snapped, ‘Zac is not like you thin

k. You’re insulting him with your accusations.’

‘Watch this space,’ her mother drawled, before changing tactics again. ‘Darling, I’m only thinking of you. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I know what that’s like, believe me.’

‘Why are you doing this? You want to destroy everything I hold dear.’

‘Ha, you care about him. Knew it. I worry about what happens to you. I’m your mother, I want you to be happy.’ Her hands shook so badly coffee slopped onto the table.

Mum’s frightened. Of what? She’s been going on about Zac. Aha. Got it. She’s afraid she’ll have to share me. She’s always done this. She drove Dad away, pushed friends out of my life, and I’ve gone along with it, believing I can’t love two people at once, can’t be there for anyone but her.

‘Goddamn,’ she said under her breath. Have I been wrong? ‘Mum, I’ve got to go. I’ll pick you up at ten tomorrow.’

‘Come back, Olivia. I need to talk to you.’

‘No, Mum, I’m done talking.’

She ran out to her car, leapt in, jerked the gearstick into drive, and sped away.

Cornwall Park was busy with families and their dogs, with joggers, walkers, and tourists heading up to the top of One Tree Hill. Olivia strode out under the massive trees, her hands stuffed in her jacket pockets, her chin down. And let it all in. Everything that had shaped her. Dad abandoning her. Her mother. Zac. Her life.

The answers for the future were elusive. But I want to try. I love Zac. No denying it. So now what? Race around to his apartment and tell him the good news? Leap into his arms and hang on for dear life?

Even as she spun around to return to her car and do just that, common sense prevailed.

Am I absolutely sure?

Hurting Zac was not on the agenda. There were a lot of things to think through, and she’d take her time, spend the next few days getting her head around the fact that she could be about to change her life for ever by giving her heart to Zac. By letting go of some of the control that had kept her on track most of her life.

Scary. Downright terrifying.

*

The days dragged. Sleep was elusive and work tedious. Her head was full of arguments for and against getting involved with Zac. More involved.