Eighteen: 18

“So?” he says.

“So if that’s what you’re after, I’m gonna disappoint you.”

He takes my backpack off my shoulder and says, “I’ll walk you to class.”

The rest of the day flies by with my head in a fog. What is he doing? Does he want to be friends? He wasn’t mad when I stopped his kiss. If he was going to kiss me. I think he was.

At the end of the day I grab Alesci’s jacket from my locker and head to the front of the school. Sunday is there, waiting right where Bowman picked me up yesterday.

“’Bout time,” he says, taking my backpack and giving the jacket a weird look. Please don’t ask me about it. Please, please, please. “Wanna come over? I got a couple hours before work.”

“Oh, I can’t,” I say. “I have night school down at Gilbert.”

“Need a ride?”

I nod, wincing at how dependent I am on people these days. When we get to his car, he opens my door for me. “Thank you,” I say.

He just smiles, gets in his side, and holds out his hand. “Give me your phone.”

“What?”

“Your phone. So I can call you and give you my number.”

I fish around in my backpack for my phone and hand it to him. He doesn’t even remark on how old it is, how the screen is cracked, or how all the numbers are practically rubbed off on the outdated keys. He calls himself, then presses end, adds his name to my contacts, and hands it back.

“Call me when you’re done there and I’ll come get you.”

“I thought you had to work?”

He shrugs and starts the car. “My boss is flexible.”

Chapter Eight

As soon as I’m out of Sunday’s car my mind immediately goes back to last night with Mateo. It’s like a switch flips. But his motorcycle isn’t in the parking lot, and I realize I have another class to go to before his.

I sit through science with my leg bouncing the entire time. Science isn’t a class. It’s a room with about eight kids who have a textbook and do tests. You can do them all open-book and get a C, or do the work and study and go for an A. I opt for open-book and complete four tests in two hours.

The teacher, who never even introduces himself to me, shoots me looks each time I turn one in. “Trying to get them all done in one day, Drake?”

“Yes,” I say. “I have very little control over my life at the moment. I take it where I can get it.”

He leaves me alone after test three.

When the class is finally dismissed I am consumed with thoughts of Mateo. We didn’t even set up a time last night. What if he’s not here? Where am I supposed to go? Should I go to the office and ask?

But in the end, he is sitting at that little table desk in room twenty-one. He’s not wearing a suit. Jesus fuck. His plain white t-shirt stretches across his chest just like the dress shirt did yesterday. And his bare arms are covered in tattoos. His dark hair is neither long nor short, and he’s got a little curl that falls down onto his forehead.

I want very badly to touch that little curl of hair.

“You’re late,” he says.

“I am?”

He nods up to the clock, which reads five minutes after five.

“Was I supposed to be here at five? Because you never said yesterday.”

“Here’s your book,” he says, leaning around to grab a textbook and dropping it on the table with a loud thump. “And here,” he says, repeating the action, “is your workbook. You have homework every night. We meet at five and stay until seven. On the weekends—”

“Weekends?”

He looks up at me, those green eyes burning. He’s pissed about something, I realize. “We did agree on every day?”

“But you never said anything about the weekends.”

“We can meet at my house on the weekends.”

“What?”

“My house, Shannon. Do you prefer mornings or mornings?”

I don’t know what to say. This guy, he’s like a bulldozer who runs me over. “I don’t think I can do weekends.”

“You can,” he says, nodding. “Now sit down and tell me what you know about integers.” His legs stretch out under the table. They scissor between mine. My eyes dart up to look at him. “Problem?” he asks.

I blink.

“No? Then read the first paragraph on page eight and tell me what you think it means.”

I look down at my book.

His legs move against mine. Rubbing back and forth. What the fuck?

“Read it, Shannon.”

I swallow and begin. I read for whole minutes about numbers on a number line. Shit any second grader should know, but authors feel compelled to repeat at the beginning of each textbook. I stop at the end of the page and look up.

He smiles. “Keep going.”

“This is dumb.”

“How so?”

“The other class I’m taking just lets me take tests. Can’t I just take tests?”

“The other teacher in that other class doesn’t give a shit about you.”

“And you do?”

“I’m here, right?”

“He’s there, right?”

“He didn’t give you a jacket to wear in the rain last night. He didn’t pick you up, take you somewhere dry, and buy you a cab ride home.”

“No, but that’s not how most teachers behave, Mr.—”

“Mateo.”

I just stare at him. What the fuck is his game?

“Say it,” he says. “Say my name.”

I swallow down the confusion. “Mateo?”

He sighs, letting out a long breath of air. And then he leans over the table, grabs my face, and kisses me.

I am so stunned, I don’t move. But his mouth demands something. Cooperation, or interaction, or submission, I’m not sure.

But I do kiss him back, I’m very sure of that.

He fists my hair, making me stand up, and then his lips break free as he walks around the table, keeping hold of my hair while he does it.

I look over my shoulder, my heart beating fast and my breathing coming out in small gasps. “The door is open,” I whisper, almost in a panic.

He ignores me, just grabs my breast, pulls me towards him, threads his fingers up my scalp so he can fist my hair again, and takes what he wants. My mouth.

I give in. I feel helpless. Weightless. Powerless.

When he breaks the kiss, I feel like I might pass out.

“Where were you last night?”

“What?” I ask, taken by surprise.

“Where were you last night, Shannon? I know you weren’t home.”

“How do you know that?”

He leans down to kiss me again, but this time his teeth nip the sensitive skin.

I let out a small whimper. “The door,” I say, trying to pull away. “Someone will see us!”

“Everyone leaves at five.” He kisses me again and then pulls back, staring down at me like I’ve done something wrong. “Where were you last night?”

“At a friend’s house.”

He pushes me backwards, trying to make me lie back on the desk. It’s slow and not at all harsh. But he makes it clear that I will be bending backwards for him. I give in and let my back rest on the table.