The Eternity Code (Artemis Fowl 3)

“You okay?” asked Holly.

“Fine,” replied the bodyguard, massaging his chest. “It’s this Kevlar tissue. Handy if I get shot with a small caliber weapon, but it’s playing havoc with my breathing.”

Holly sheathed her mechanical wings. “It’s the quiet life for you, from now on.”

Butler noticed an LEP pilot attempting to park his shuttle in the double garage, nudging the Fowl Bentley’s bumper.

“Quiet life,” he muttered, heading for the garage. “I wish.”

Once Butler had finished terrorizing the pixie pilot, he made for the study. Artemis and Juliet were waiting for him. Juliet hugged her brother so tightly that the air was squeezed from his lungs.

“I’m okay, little sister. The fairies have fixed it that I will live to well over a hundred. I’ll still be around to keep an eye on you.”

Artemis was all business. “How did you fare, Butler?”

Butler opened a wall safe behind an air conditioning vent.

“Pretty well. I got everything on the list.”

“What about the custom job?”

Butler laid out six small vials on the baize-covered desk.

“My man in Limerick followed your instructions to the letter. In all his years in the trade, he’s never done anything like this. They’re in a special solution to stop corrosion. The layers are so fine that once they come into contact with the air, they begin to oxidize right away, so I suggest we don’t insert them until the last possible moment.”

“Excellent. In all probability, I am the only one who will need these, but just in case, we should all put them in.”

Butler held the gold coin up by its leather cord. “I copied your diary and fairy files onto a laser minidisk, then brushed on a layer of gold leaf. It won’t stand up to close examination I’m afraid, but molten gold would have destroyed the information on the disk.”

Artemis tied the cord around his neck. “It will have to do. Did you plant the false trails?”

“Yes. I sent an e-mail that has yet to be picked up, and I hired a few megabytes on an Internet storage site. I also took the liberty of burying a time capsule in the maze.”

Artemis nodded. “Good. I hadn’t thought of that.”

Butler accepted the compliment, but he didn’t believe it. Artemis thought of everything.

Juliet spoke for the first time. “You know, Artemis. Maybe it would be better to let these memories go. Give the fairies some peace of mind.”

“These memories are part of who I am,” responded Artemis.

He examined the vials on the table, selecting two.

“Now, everybody, it’s time to put these in. I’m sure the People are eager to wipe our minds.”

Foaly’s technical crew set up shop in the conference room, laying out a complex assembly of electrodes and fiber-optic cable. Each cable was connected to a plasma screen that converted brain waves to actual binary information. In layman’s terms, Foaly would be able to read the humans’ memories like a book and edit out what shouldn’t be there. Possibly the most incredible part of the entire procedure was that the human brain itself would supply alternative memories to fill the blank spots.

“We could do the mind wipes with a field kit,” explained Foaly, once the patients were assembled. “But field kits are just for blanket wipes. It would erase everything that’s happened over the past sixteen months. That could have serious implications for your emotional development, not to mention your IQ. So it’s better that we use the lab kit and simply erase the memories that pertain to the People. Obviously we will have to erase completely the days you spent in fairy company. We can’t take any chances there.”

Artemis, Butler, and Juliet were seated around the table. Technical gnomes swabbed their temples with disinfectant.

“I’ve thought of something,” said Butler.

“Don’t tell me,” interrupted the centaur. “The age thing, right?”

Butler nodded. “A lot of people know me as a forty-year-old man. You can’t wipe them all.”

“Way ahead of you, Butler. We’re going to give your face a laser peel while you’re unconscious. Get rid of some of that dead skin. We even brought a cosmetic surgeon to give your forehead a Dewer injection, to smooth out the wrinkles.”

“Dewer?”

“Fat,” explained the centaur. “We take it from one area, and inject it into another.”

Butler was not enthused at the idea. “This fat. It doesn’t come from my behind, does it?”

Foaly shuffled uncomfortably. “Well, it doesn’t come from your behind.”

“Explain.”

“Research has shown that of all the fairy races, dwarfs have the greatest longevity. There’s a miner in Poll Dyne who is allegedly over two thousand years old. Haven’t you ever heard the expression,‘smooth as a dwarf’s bottom’?”

Butler slapped away a technician who was attempting to attach an electrode patch to his head.

“Are you telling me that fat from a dwarf’s backside is going to be injected into my head?”

Foaly shrugged. “The price of youth. There are pixies on the west bank paying a fortune for Dewer treatments.”

Butler spoke through gritted teeth. “I am not a pixie.”

“We’ve also brought some gel to color any hair you may decide to grow in the future, and some dye to cover the cell corruption on you chest,” continued the centaur hurriedly. “By the time you wake up, your exterior will look young again, even if your interior is old.”

“Clever,” said Artemis. “I expected as much.”

Holly entered with Mulch in tow. The dwarf was wearing cuffs, and looking extremely sorry for himself.

“Is this really necessary?” he whined. “After all we’ve been through?”

“My badge is on the line,” retorted Holly. “The commander said to come back with you, or not at all.”

“What do I have to do? I donated the fat didn’t I?” Butler rolled his eyes. “Please—no.” Juliet giggled. “Don’t worry, Dom. You won’t rememer a thing about it.” “Knock me out,” said Butler. “Quickly.” “Don’t mention it,” grumbled Mulch, attempting to ub his behind. Holly uncuffed the dwarf, but stayed within grabbing distance. “He wanted to say good-bye. So here we are.” She udged Mulch with her shoulder. “So say good-bye.” Juliet winked. “Bye, Smelly.” “So long, Stinker.” “Don’t go chewing through any concrete walls.” “I don’t find that kind of thing funny,” said Mulch, with pained expression. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll see each other again.” Mulch nodded at the technicians, busy firing up their ard drives. “If we do, thanks to these people, it’ll be the first time.” Butler knelt to the dwarf’s level. “You look after yourself, little friend. Stay clear of gobins.” Mulch shuddered. “You don’t have to tell me that.” Commander Root’s face appeared on a roll-down creen erected by an LEP officer. “Maybe you two would like to get married?” he barked. “I don’t know what all the emotion is about. In ten mintes you people won’t even remember this convict’s name!”

“We have the commander online,” said a technician, a tad unnecessarily.

Mulch stared at the button camera mounted on the screen. “Julius, please. Do you realize that all of these humans owe me their lives? This is an emotional moment for them.”

Root’s rosy complexion was exaggerated by poor reception.

“I couldn’t care less about your touchy-feely moment, I’m here to make sure this wipe goes smoothly. If I know our friend, Fowl, he’s got a few tricks up his sleeve.”

“Really, Commander,” said Artemis. “Such suspicion is wounding.”

But the Irish teenager couldn’t suppress a grin. Everybody knew that he would have hidden items to spark residual memories; it was up to the LEP to f

ind them. Their final contest.

Artemis stood and approached Mulch Diggums.

“Mulch. Of all the fairy people, I will miss your services the most. We could have had such a future together.”

Mulch looked a touch teary. “True. With your brains and my special talents.”

“Not to mention your mutual lack of morals,” interjected Holly.

“No bank on the planet would have been safe,” said the dwarf. “A missed opportunity.”

Artemis tried his best to look sincere. It was vital for the next step in the plan.

“Mulch, I know you risked your life betraying the Antonelli family, so I’d like to give you something.”

Mulch’s imagination churned with visions of trust funds and offshore accounts.

“There’s no need. Really. Although it was incredibly brave, and I was in mortal danger.”

“Exactly,” said Artemis, untying the gold medallion from around his neck. “I know this isn’t much, but it means a lot to me. I was going to keep it, but I realized that in a few minutes it will mean absolutely nothing. I would like you to have it. I think Holly would, too. A little memento of our adventures.”

“Gee,” said Mulch, hefting the medallion. “Half an ounce of gold. Great. You really broke the bank there, Artemis.”

Artemis gripped the dwarf’s hand. “It’s not always about money, Mulch.”

Root was craning his neck, trying to see more. “What’s that? What has he given to the convict?”

Holly snatched the medallion, holding it up for the camera.

“Just a gold coin, Commander. I gave it to Artemis myself.”

Foaly glanced at the small medal. “Actually, this kills two stink worms with one skewer. The medallion could have triggered some residual memories. Highly unlikely, but possible.”

“And the other stink worm?”

“Mulch gets something to look at in prison.”

Root mulled it over for several moments.

“Okay. He can keep it. Now get that convict into the shuttle, and let’s get on with this. I’ve got a Council meeting in ten minutes.”