Waking Bel (Lords of Discord 3)
“I saw him too, but the visits were always so brief. On the scale of how long we live, those visits were just the blink of an eye.”
“But they were enough. He made sure they were enough for him. He knew we were happy and safe. That’s all he wanted.”
No, he also wanted Julianna, but he couldn’t have her.
Bel swallowed back those bitter words. He understood what Rafe was saying. Life wasn’t about being happy or having the thing you most desired. Sometimes all a person could do was grab up what little sparks of happiness that could be found and treasure each one of them. Sometimes happiness was only a sip and a tiny taste instead of a great feast.
He couldn’t have Wyatt and River as his own, but he could treasure each smile and laugh. He could be happy that he was providing them a safe place to live and love each other. He could provide opportunities for them to pursue their dreams. And he could be grateful that they allowed him to try to be their friend.
It would be enough.
It had to be enough.
“I should be heading home,” Bel murmured.
Rafe’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “I wish you would talk to me. I can feel your pain.”
“I…” Bel broke off. He didn’t know what to say. At least not the truth. Not yet. “We all have bad nights occasionally.”
“I know.” Rafe released a heavy sigh before dropping his hand from Bel and straightening. “I don’t care how important your experiments are. Don’t miss the next family dinner. You’re the only one who can make Marcus see reason.”
Not true in the slightest, but Bel appreciated the sentiment.
“I’ll be there,” he promised.
Bel turned away from the window and placed his untouched drink on the coffee table in front of the couch on his way to the door.
“I love you, Beltran.”
He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned to find Rafe still facing the window, sipping his alcohol. He smiled. It was enough.
“I love you too, Rafe.”
9
Bel tugged at the cuffs of his shirt and touched his bow tie for what felt like the hundredth time. Anxiety gnawed at his nerves. It was time to keep his promise to his brother. He was attending the family dinner…and he’d brought guests.
This was not going to be a smooth night. While he was happy with his two companions, things were going to come to a head very soon. Bel was on the cusp of breaking, and he needed his family’s advice on how to handle the werewolves’ dire situation before he made a critical mistake.
His desire for Wyatt and River had become suffocating. And the more comfortable they became in his house, the worse it was getting. Despite Bel buying them stacks of clothes, both River and Wyatt preferred to walk around the house half-naked. Considering they had to undress to shift, Bel had a feeling that being naked was a very normal thing for werewolves, but they were slowly driving him insane with their sleek, muscular bodies and beautiful skin.
And he wasn’t the only one turned-on in the house.
No, unrelenting lust rolled off Wyatt and River in intoxicating waves, but the only thing keeping him from acting was the knowledge that it couldn’t possibly be directed at him. Wyatt lusted for River, and River lusted for Wyatt. There was no room for him.
God, how he longed to touch!
Oh, River and Wyatt touched him all the time. Dozens of little touches and bumps throughout the day that were keeping him rock hard and longing for so much more, but he never initiated anything if he could help it.
Sometimes he forgot, but he instantly pulled away. He held close the memory of his conversation with Wyatt that first night. Werewolves were touchy-feely creatures. They loved physical contact. Vampires did not. He should not force his touch on them. He was not one of them. He was not a part of their beautiful relationship. He was simply their host. An outsider. An unwanted solution to their problem.
When everything was over and their problem solved, Wyatt and River would leave to build a happy life together. And Bel…would return to his work.
The only thing worse than the longing for them was the growing guilt over the fact that he hadn’t told his family he’d taken in two werewolves. This was a decision a vampire’s clan needed to know as it could impact every one of them if something went terribly wrong.
And since he’d yet to come up with a single viable solution to Wyatt and River’s problem, it was time he told Aiden and the rest of his family what he’d done.
Tonight, the three of them were attending a dinner at Marcus’s with the rest of his family. He hadn’t told his brothers that he was bringing River and Wyatt.