Waking Bel (Lords of Discord 3)

It went without saying that there were fewer packs in the desert areas, thanks to it being harsh and inhospitable. Their kind tended to prefer the lush, green forests with lots of dark shadows and abundant wildlife for hunting. Life would be very hard where they finally settled, but Bel would be safe.

River pulled away from Wyatt and looked around the room as if he were trying to memorize it before he left.

“Two months, Wyatt. For two months, we had a taste of heaven…and now…” His voice drifted off and he shook his head. “I’m starting to think that maybe this is punishment. Maybe I was a horrible person in a past life and this—”

“You can’t think like that,” Wyatt said sharply.

“I know, but after getting kicked out of our clan, losing our families, and ten years of hell with the MacPherson clan…I don’t know. When we found Bel, I started to hope that maybe we’d found a home. A real life. And it’s all falling apart again. I’m just so fucking tired.”

“You can’t give up, River. You can’t. You don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Maybe…” Wyatt paused and licked his lips. He hated to even put this out there, but River was hanging on by the slimmest thread. “Maybe we’ll be able to come back to Bel again, when things are quiet, and he’s away from Albert’s pack. We don’t know what’s around the next bend. We never expected life with Bel to be like this. We don’t know what we’ll find when we head west.”

River nodded and pushed a smile on his lips that didn’t even come close to touching his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all that self-pity on you. We’ll be fine.”

Wyatt pulled River into his arms. “Don’t apologize. You’re tired. I’m tired too, but we will get through this, and Bel will be safe.”

This was a terrible plan. They were both so fucking tired of running. They had zero money, no safe way to get out west, and no idea of how they were going to survive even if they got to a safe location, but getting away from Bel and Albert’s pack was the only thing that mattered at this point. Once they put some distance between themselves and Bel, he’d be able to make a better strategy that would protect River.

But even as he clutched that flimsy idea to his chest, his heart ached worse than any wound he’d sustained in his fight the previous night. Bel had come to mean as much to him as River. Leaving Connecticut meant leaving one-third of himself behind.

Crawling out of Bel’s bed was the hardest thing River had ever done in his life. He’d always thought it would be the day he came out to his family and pack, but he’d declared his love for Wyatt in front of his entire world at the same time. A bittersweet moment. He’d always believed he was walking toward something better. Or at the very least, he was no longer pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

But leaving Bel wasn’t carrying them to a better life. There was no way life would ever be better without Bel in it. Yes, he still had Wyatt, and he was forever grateful that the man was at his side. Wyatt was the only thing keeping River moving now. If he lost both of them, he was pretty sure he’d just curl up in a ball somewhere and completely give up.

This was for the best. It would keep Bel safe. It would remove one of the threats on his life.

That night, dinner had been a quiet affair. Over the past month, Bel had actually started eating a little bit. It was clear that he was only in there to spend time with them and didn’t have any interest in food. But tonight, he didn’t bother to even pick at his food, and none of them talked.

They retired well before sunrise, cuddled as close as physically possible in the bed. What started as slow, gentle lovemaking became something more frantic and desperate. They turned to each other again and again throughout the night. No matter how exhausted their bodies were, they still craved just one more kiss, one more touch. It was only at sunrise that they managed to fall into restless sleep.

And all too soon, Wyatt was shaking River awake. They each packed a backpack of clothes and some basics. It felt weird taking the clothes Bel had given them, but the vampire would have pointed out that the clothes were theirs and they would need them where they were going. They each had a few hundred dollars Bel had given them for emergencies, but the new phones were left on the dresser in their old room. It was better if he couldn’t find them. Safer.