Odalisque
“That’s not fair, Kai. If she wants to tell me something, let her tell me.”
Instead, Kai gestured toward her and turned to Constance. “Let me introduce my sister, Satya.” He fingerspelled her name for Constance, who nodded. “And Satya, this is Constance. Constance stays here with me. She is very, very happy and content.”
“I want to talk to her. Privately.”
Kai shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
But Constance was waving her hands to get his attention. “It’s okay. I would prefer not to be your shameful secret for the next eight and a half months. I can explain it to her so it’s not creepy.”
Kai didn’t really have an answer to that. He gazed up at Constance and silently signed, with emphasis, “Whatever you do, don’t let her see the marks from last night.”
*** *** ***
Constance told Satya the truth about why she lived in Kai’s house, the whole truth in blunt terms. She left out the hardcore sex and kink stuff, but Satya wasn’t stupid. Constance wasn’t sure at first how she’d react, but Kai’s sister surprised her by being inquisitive rather than condemning.
They were sitting at the desk in Constance’s room, the notebook open between them. Satya asked many questions, spoke them slowly and clearly so Constance could read her lips. It wasn’t that hard. Her lips and speech patterns were very much like Kai’s. In fact, she looked very much like Kai, only shorter and prettier with longer hair.
It was clear that Satya was trying hard to understand Constance, her thoughts and motives in choosing to be an odalisque. She was also frank about her misgivings.
“You understand why this unsettles me, don’t you? In India, where my mom was born, there are child brides, arranged marriages. Women have so few choices. They’re forced to live under the dominion of men. So I don’t understand how you can choose to live in such subordination when you don’t…when you don’t have to.”
Submission, not subordination, Constance corrected her in writing. I chose this. No one made me do this, and I didn’t choose it as a last resort. I chose it freely over many options I had. This seemed like the best one.
“But why?”
Constance thought back on her life. On struggles and heartbreak and her search for security and independence. It was too personal to put it all in words. I can’t answer that in any way you’d understand.
“Try,” Satya urged. “Confide in me.”
Constance thought a moment. She knew it would give Satya some peace of mind if Constance could make it make sense. Satya, my childhood was crazy. My mom dragged us from town to town, from man to man. We always had to depend on his good graces, whoever he was. It was true slavery. No choices. My mother was helpless. I think, in hindsight, she made herself that way on purpose.
Constance paused and thought a moment, chewing the pen. I was so angry with her. I blamed her for making me live that way, with so much upheaval and fear. I never felt safe. As I got older...more mature...she used me as a lure too.
Satya put a hand on Constance’s pen, her eyes wide in alarm. “She didn’t! Tell me she didn’t...”
Constance shook her head and started writing again. She didn’t offer me to them or anything, but she flaunted me. Her looks were fading and it worried her. She thought if I could just catch their interest, she could do the rest. But it didn’t work out. Not quite that way. And when the men came onto me, my mother blamed me and said I invited their attentions. I left home when I was fifteen. My mom’s newest soldier had been stationed on an Air Force base in Germany, so I ran to France. I survived through a lot of nasty, awful situations. I scraped and schemed to survive. All I ever wanted was some security for myself. The chance to make my own destiny, and not let life control me the way my mom did.
Satya nodded. “That’s understandable.”
I met Sebastien, the owner of Maison Odalisque, when I applied for a job as a maid. I thought it was a bed and breakfast. Constance laughed, remembering that meeting, when he’d misunderstood the position she’d been applying for. Constance had decided pretty quickly she preferred the other one.
Constance pulled her robe closer around her and turned the page to write more. Just picture it. I went from having nothing, and no prospects, to the possibility of earning half a million dollars a year. There’s something about security and a calm, predictable life, especially to a person who’s never had either. The work isn’t degrading. It probably seems so to you, but it doesn’t to me. I’m proud of my sensual skills. I developed them like any other person who works with their body--a dancer, a model, a gymnast. I’ve worked very hard to become the best at what I do.
Satya thought that over. “I guess in a way it is sexist, that women can be celebrated for doing all kinds of physical things, as long as they’re not sexual. You know, throughout history, men have always feared female sexuality and tried to control it. It’s still going on in a thousand harmful ways. I see it all over the world. It’s disgusting. Disheartening.”
Every odalisque contributes a quarter of her salary to combat sex trafficking, Constance wrote. Believe me, I feel as strongly about these issues as you.
“Do you love my brother?”
The abrupt question was the last thing Constance expected. She toyed with the edge of the notebook, thinking before she wrote.
I love this life he affords me. I love to serve him. He’s very kind to me. Very generous. And an excellent lover. Really over the top as far as lovemaking skills.
Satya slammed her hand down on the page, and made some gawping protest like la-la-la-la-la-la. She shook her head at Constance. “I don’t want to know what kind of lover my brother is. The point is, you don’t love him. At the end of this year, you’ll walk away from him?”
Maybe, Constance wrote. I might stay another year. We are limited to six years of service to one owner.
“Why?” asked Satya.
Constance realized how ludicrous the words were before she even wrote them. To prevent us falling in love.
Satya looked at her hard, and for the first time, Constance couldn’t meet her eyes with total steadiness. Fortunately, Satya seemed satisfied that the overall situation was not harmful or illegal. She stood up and nodded.
“Thank you, Constance, for being honest with me. You might not love my brother, but I do. He’s the only family I have. Mom’s gone, and our dad’s been out of the picture for a while. I might seem overprotective, but he is my big brother and we’re very close.”
Constance nodded. Satya asked, “How do you sign ‘thank you?’”
Constance put her fingers to her lips and drew them forward in the familiar sign. Satya smiled.
“I remember that from preschool ages ago.” She repeated the sign to Constance. “Thank you. Now I promise to leave you alone. Unless you’d like a visitor now and again? Do you ever get lonely here by yourself?”
Constance thought a moment. She liked Kai’s sister. Satya was slightly scary, but Constance could tell she had a huge heart. A lot like her brother. Constance picked up the notebook. I don’t exactly get lonely, but company is always fun.
Satya read it and shot her a grin. “I’ll be sure to call first. Or text, I guess.”
Constance nodded and wrote her cell number for Satya, then led her back down the stairs to the living room, where Kai sat on the couch. Constance chuckled inwardly at his woebegone expression.
“Your sister and I had a very nice talk,” she signed.
Kai stood and put his hands on his hips. “A nice talk. Right.” But his relief was palpable. His sister reached up and popped him on t
he head, which was kind of funny since he was at least a foot and a half taller than her.
“I’ll never understand why you won’t let me fix you up with someone, brother. But Constance is pretty cool.”
“Just don’t go starting some fund to save the odalisques. Some odalisque awareness campaign. I won’t be contributing to it, and I’ll deny everything.”
The siblings faced off, and then they both smiled. Constance felt some pang of jealousy, or admiration. During her childhood, she and her myriad step-siblings had competed for every scrap of love or attention. Both were always in short supply. What would it feel like to have a brother or sister love you unconditionally? Protect you so fiercely? Laugh with you so easily?
Constance stared at Kai as he hugged his sister, and fell in love a little more still. They broke apart and Kai tugged on Satya’s wispy, swingy black locks.
“Now that you’ve made each other’s acquaintance, perhaps you and I can agree on some other time and place to get together and catch up.”
Satya scowled at him. “Yeah, right. You’ll put me off, like you’ve been doing for the last three months.”
“You’ve been out of town!”
“Still, I’m your sister. Your flesh and blood. Do you know how it breaks my heart--”
“Hey, Sats.” Mason came out from the kitchen, juggling a couple of pans. “Stay for breakfast. I’m making omelets.” He dropped one of the pans, barely missing a toe. Constance wondered if he was planning to cook in Kai’s boxers. They didn’t appear to provide much coverage. “You got any eggs, Kai?”
“I have to be on my way,” Satya said quickly.
“I swear to God, I will call you,” Kai promised. “We’ll go out to lunch or something.”
“I want to talk to you about New York. You’re going, right? In September?”
“I’m planning to.”
“I’ll be there too. Human Rights conference?”
“Among other things.”
Satya rolled her eyes. “But you’ll be at the glitzy events, swilling champagne. I’ll be outside waving the placards.”