Waking Kiss (BDSM Ballet 1)

I wanted to show everyone the joy I felt, the struggle I’d overcome. I tapped my toe boxes on the parquet floor. Quiet. Nice and quiet. The stage manager gave us a sign and we headed out to strike our opening poses behind the curtains, but then I ran back and grabbed Liam’s face and kissed him. His soft hair tickled my cheek and when I drew back, his eyes held mine.

“Merde,” he whispered. “I love you.”

I didn’t have time to reply, not with the stage manager hauling me toward Rubio, but my smile said everything brimming in my heart. I love you, Liam Wilder. You’re my white knight, my lock breaker who promised everything would be okay.

You’re the prince whose kiss awakened me after a hundred years. The wait was nothing.

This is for you.

THE END

A Final Note

I hope you enjoyed this first story in my City Ballet series. The storyline came to mind after I stumbled across some writings about Ishi, who was a real person. I won’t relate his story here, but it’s worth a Google. In essence he was the last survivor of his native tribe, a man with no remaining loved ones and no home. I thought about all the people in the world who moved through life lonely and damaged, survivors of various tragedies. I imagined two such people finding one another—and healing one another—and ended up with the story of Liam and Ashleigh.

This was, at times, a difficult story to write. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my editors and beta readers, who helped me find the distance I needed to analyze and make improvements: Renee Regent, Linzy Antoinette, Lina Sacher, Tasha L. Harrison, J. Luna Scuro, Lanie S. Flin, Melissa, Melisa, Doris, and of course my wonderful editor Audrey—without you this book would not have been as good.

Finally, I must thank my Brazilian reader and friend Maryara for inspiring me to write my bad boy, Fernando Rubio, and for helping me with the Portuguese language in this book. If you enjoyed Rubio’s complexity and spirit, you’ll be happy to learn he’s the subject of my next book, Fever Dream. As Ashleigh predicted, Rubio does fall in love with “some poor girl” and all hell does break loose. I hope you’ll read the first-chapter excerpt from Fever Dream following this note.

As always, thanks for reading me, reviewing me, sharing your thoughts about my stories, and offering me such unwavering support. I appreciate your encouragement more than words can say.

An excerpt from Fever Dream, the next story in the City Ballet series, available in late 2013

Fernando Rubio vaulted up the stone steps to the white town house, his stormy Brazilian temper in full effect. He drew back a fist and banged it on his friends’ front door.

“Liam. Ashleigh! Ash-lee! I have some words for you, damn it. I know you’re in there. Open up.”

The door swung wide and a dark-haired, elderly man peered out. “Mr. Rubio. What a pleasure to see you.”

He pushed past Mem and stalked into the house. “Where are they?”

“They are downstairs. They undoubtedly”—Mem slipped around the front of him—“undoubtedly wish for privacy at the moment.”

Rubio waved a hand, heading for the Wilders’ BDSM-equipped basement. “No matter what they’re doing, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Mr. Rubio, if you would be so kind as to wait in the living room—”

Ruby ignored Mem’s polite but pointed protests and continued to the lower floor. He stopped halfway down the stairs, scanning Liam’s play room in the dim mood lighting, until he located the naked couple. Oh…God. “That’s disgusting!”

At his barked exclamation, Liam turned to search for him with a frown. “Do you mind? Timing, my friend. Very bad timing.”

“You are both disgusting.”

The tall, long-haired man wrapped his arms more tightly around his petite partner. “What are you so offended by? I’m kissing my wife.”

“Exactly. You have this entire den of depravity, sex toys and BDSM furniture,” he said, waving a hand around the basement, “and you are standing there kissing her.”

“Not only that—we just made love,” his friend said, teasing. “Tender, sappy, emotional, gaze-into-each-other’s-eyes kind of love.”

“With lots and lots of kissing,” Ashleigh added.

“Ugh.” Ruby spun and started back the way he’d come. “I’ll wait upstairs. You’re both…” He searched his mind for an adequate insult. “You’re both completely disgusting.” He waved a finger at Ashleigh. “And you! I am furious with you.”

He turned his back on her apologetic expression and took the stairs two at a time. There was nothing she could say to excuse her behavior, nothing he wanted to listen to, anyway.

Mem greeted him when he arrived back in the living room. “Would you care for some refreshment, Mr. Rubio? Coffee? Tea?” He took in Ruby’s dour expression. “Something stronger?”

“I don’t want anything,” he snapped, “except to unsee what I just saw.” Oh, and for Ashleigh to not leave the theater. He wanted that more than anything. They’d been working together for four years now, collaborating and achieving new heights of artistry with each ballet. He collapsed onto one of the living room’s leather couches and put his head in his hands. How could she leave him now, after all they’d created together? After all the work they’d done?

A few moments later Ashleigh appeared from below, clad in Liam’s black tee. At least he assumed it was Liam’s since it hung to her knees. She hugged the shirt around her waist and crossed to sit next to Rubio on the couch.

“Well?” he said. “I am waiting for your explanation. Why are you leaving City Ballet?”

“I’m not leaving. I mean, I’m not leaving London.” She leaned forward, rubbing her knees. “I’m just taking a break from dancing.”

He felt unreasonable anger at her offhand tone. “A break? No. You are quitting the company. That’s what Yves told me after class. Why didn’t you warn me? You didn’t tell me nothing until today. Then, boom.”

She lowered her head, her black locks falling forward across her cheeks. “I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t know how to tell you, so I let Yves do it.”

“Well, I almost punched Yves in the face.” He pointed at her. “That would have been your fault.”

She touched his hand on the cushion between them and then wrapped her fingers around his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say to you, even now.”

He felt choking emotion. Cold betrayal and loss. Ashleigh was his favorite ballet partner. They danced almost everything together, in perfect, comfortable harmony. “Why?” he asked. “What I do? I’m sorry.”

“It’s not you.”

“I know I’m rude sometimes. I know I always touch your tits and pretend it was an accident. I know, it’s bad. I won’t do it anymore, I swear.”

“It’s not that,” she said, squeezing his hand tighter. “I’ve loved working with you. You have to know that. These past few years have been a dream for me, both personally and professionally.” Her blue-gray eyes communicated the same pain he felt, the pain that had devastated him when Yves broke the news an hour ago.

“Why?” he whispered. “Why, then?”

She let go of his hand and picked at the hem of Liam’s shirt. “I’m tired, okay? Ballet has always been easy for you because you’re a natural, a phenomenon. It’s a struggle for me. I want to… I want to try something different.”

Liam joined them with two beers. He sat on the arm of the couch beside his wife, holding out one of the bottles to his friend. “You realize you’re being a total pussy about this, right? A pathetic crybaby pussy?”

“Stop it,” Ashleigh said, reaching over to her husband. “You don’t understand. It’s hard for dancers to lose a partner. Over time you develop this really transcendent bond, almost like brother and sister.”

Or husband and wife. Rubio had secretly pined for Ashleigh years ago, when she was dating Liam. Sometimes he still did, even though his friends were happily married and completely devoted to each other. Ashle

igh turned back to him, pleading with him to understand. “You taught me so much about ballet and artistry, so much about performance. I feel horrible leaving you, but…me and Liam are having a baby. I’m three months pregnant. I won’t be able to dance next season because of that.”

Rubio’s eyes went wide. What the hell? A baby? “Is this a joke?” he sputtered. “Your belly is completely flat.”

“I’m not showing yet, but believe me, I’m pregnant. Remember how I kept throwing up on the summer tour?”

Ruby put his hands to his head. “Jesus Cristo. Why you need a baby? I need a partner! What about that?”

“Watch your tone with my wife,” Liam said.

Ruby turned to jab a finger at him. “This is your fault.”

“Everything is everyone else’s fault, huh?” said Liam. “Maybe it’s your fault. You introduced us, if you’ll remember.”

“Yes, but I didn’t imagine all this kissing and getting married and making love and…and babies.”

Liam shrugged. “That’s what grown-ups do.”

Ashleigh frowned at her husband and turned to Ruby, edging Liam out of the conversation.

“There are a lot of talented dancers you can partner with at the company. I’m sure Yves will let you dance with whoever you want.”

“Except you,” he groused. “I can’t dance with you.”

“A few months from now I’ll be big as a whale. Right? You won’t want to dance with me.”

Ruby couldn’t stop the half-smile. “Don’t try to be cute. Don’t be funny. I’m angry at you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” She leaned to him, opened her arms and hugged him tight. Rubio waited for her to start laughing, to tell him this was all a joke. She didn’t look pregnant. She didn’t feel pregnant, but Ashleigh, his favorite partner, his soul-mate partner, was pregnant and he didn’t know what he was going to do.

“Maybe I’ll quit too,” he grumbled against her neck. “Maybe I’ll stop dancing. Maybe now it’s time.”

She pulled away from him in horror. “No, you can’t. Don’t even say that.”

“Pussy,” Liam muttered from behind her.

“You have years left to dance,” she said, truly alarmed. “You’re only thirty years old.”

“You’re only twenty-eight!”

“It’s different with men and women. You’re stronger than me and…” She put her hands over her belly. “I really want to have this baby right now. It’s time for me to do this. I feel it in my heart.”

“Stop begging him to understand, hon,” said Liam. “It’s Ruby, remember? He’s obnoxious and self-centered. He’ll never understand the impulse to start a family, but eventually he’ll get over it. Won’t you?” Liam shot him a dire look.

Ashleigh dropped her head onto Rubio’s shoulder. “I just feel like…this is the time. I should have told you,” she said, lifting her eyes to meet his gaze. “I should have warned you we were making these plans but I didn’t want you to be angry.”

“Well, I’m angry.”

“But Ruby—”