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Oh, Bite Me (Guardians of the Deep 1)

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She was as serious as could be.

“Never?” Penny asked. “What if a regular shark fucks you?”

“It’s happened,” Poet said, shrugging his shoulders to suggest it was a good, legitimate question.

“Okay,” Ruby said. “Yes, that has happened. But it’s rare. And as a woman, you would never want that to happen. Here’s why. Just like I can’t shift while I’m pregnant, it works the other way around too. And you think having twins or triplets is bad? Did you know a tiger shark can have up to ninety babies? So, imagine you get fucked as a shark, then you shift, how in the hell is your human body going to handle ninety babies inside it? You’d have babies falling out all over the fucking place.”

“That’s gross,” Kalina said.

“That is pretty disgusting,” Penny agreed.

“And that’s why, if any shark tries to fuck us in shark form, he better be one fast motherfucker,” Ruby said, laughing the entire time, “because these bitches can swim, and we will be swimming our asses off in that case.”

“I would swim, and dodge, and leap through the air like a fucking dolphin,” K

alina said.

“What’s this?” Ruby asked, suddenly standing up from her chair and putting an end to their laugher.

A boat cruised close to the shore and was steadily growing nearer. Even from so far away, Penny could tell that it had some sort of official emblem on its side. When the boat finally beached, Ruby, Kalina, and Poet approached it.

“Stay in the cabin, kids!” Ruby called out over her shoulder.

Penny followed closely behind them as they made their way to the beach. A man hopped out of the boat in a pair of cream colored cargo shorts and an official Queensland Boating and Fisheries Patrol polo. He held a shotgun in his hand and approached them with it leaned back over one shoulder.

“Mr. Kane,” Ruby said.

“Have we met?” the handsome officer asked.

“Not officially, no,” she replied. “But your reputation precedes you.”

“Does it now?” he asked. “Great. Then I don’t need to beat around the bush. I’ve been hearing a lot of chatter about sharks in this area. Tiger sharks mostly. Even a great white from time to time. Seen anything like that?”

“Nothing like that,” Ruby said.

“Hmm,” he said.

Penny thought he seemed suspicious. Was he really cruising up to every individual island to ask if people had seen sharks? It was possible, but she doubted that was the case. He was up to something. It was the same odd feeling she had on the yacht when the blond guy had walked up to her and began flirting. If she’d trusted her gut, she might not have gotten knocked into the ocean where she became fish food.

“And you, beautiful?” he asked, shifting his gaze from Ruby to Kalina.

Before she could answer, he spotted Penny and wrinkled his brow.

“Wait a minute,” he said. “Ain’t you the girl I met at the hospital the other day?”

“Yes,” was all she could think to say.

“And they let you out of the hospital so soon?” he asked. “And wha…what happened to your bandages and your bites?”

He seemed totally perplexed by the fact that her leg was healed. She hadn’t thought to cover it up, and of course, he would notice it right away.

“It wasn’t very deep at all it turns out,” she said. “And the salt water works in mysterious ways.”

He wasn’t buying it. He fixed his stare on her and cocked his head to the side. She’d become a strange logic problem he was trying to decipher in his head. She felt a chilly breeze that seemed to be kicked up by his presence. She only hoped Thane wouldn’t suddenly come walking out of the water.

“It sure does,” Keelan agreed, his voice sounding distant, as if still stuck in deep thought. “Well, you keep your eyes and ears open. If you see any sharks, you let me know, alright?”

He handed Penny a business card with his name and phone number on it.



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