Welcome to E. Mayberry

“Wait,” I said. “I know in the rule book it said there are no children in E. Mayberry. With all this sex…I don’t see any condoms. How is that possible?”

She smiled and raised one eyebrow along with one finger into the air.

“I almost forgot that welcome package. It’s all in there. Just don’t take off that necklace and make sure you check out everything in this thing.”

My eyes remained on the people in the pool while Vivi disappeared to get my welcome package. Again, I considered taking a break from the day and jumping into the pool. I thought about coming back later when things had died down a bit.

Vivi returned with a large envelope with a picture of the community’s front gate on it and in big letters it read: Welcome to Erotic Mayberry.”

Chapter 6

“Would you say this, Vivi, was mean to you in any way?” Tension asked, poised at the edge of his seat. “Was she threatening in any way? Cause I have to say she sounds like a real bitch.”

He was really into my story. I thought it was sweet how he seemed to be hanging on every word.

“I have to say, she was never ever rude to me. Not really,” I said. “She’s a strange woman. She could say the most outlandish things, the pushiest stuff, and yet somehow it never came across as overly aggressive or rude.”

“She seemed quite aggressive to me,” he said.

“That’s the thing,” I argued. “You’d think so. Yet, I didn’t feel that way.”

“The necklace?” he asked.

He was quick. After all, he was a detective. I pointed a finger at him and smiled.

“It was the necklace,” he said. “It brought down your will, didn’t completely change your mindset but seemed to bring a tranquility over you.”

“You’re good,” I said.

“Saw something like that on an old Star Trek episode or something. I think. Anyway, it’s what I do.”

“Can I be honest with you?” I asked.

“Of course,” he said.

“I’ve been coming on mighty strong. I know that. It’s what I’m used to. In my old career, being on screen, I had to hold my own. Then in E. Mayberry I was a pet so turning people on was my main function. Talking about it like this…I think it helps. It’s just I…I’m bringing up a lot of suppressed memories. So thank you for being so sweet and listening to me even after I pulled that stunt in my bedroom.”

As I thought he would, he made his move. Men are so easy to figure out. His hand moved over and rested on my knee. His thumb caressed there for a second but he couldn’t quite bring himself to look me in my eyes.

“This is probably hard on you,” he said. “I understand. I’ll be here for you and I’m a good listener.”

“But it’s your job to be so cold,” I said as I crossed my arms in front of my chest as if shivering.

“I’m an asshole,” he admitted. “Sometimes I let the job make me forget that I’m talking to real people. I’ll try to be…”

“Warmer?” I suggested.

“Warmer,” he said with a smile.

“Would you like me to continue?” I asked.

“If you’re ready. Do you need to take a break or anything?”

I laughed.

“Last time we took a break I was bad and you seemed mad at me so…”

“I wasn’t mad at you at all,” he said.