Fill Me (Rouse Me 3)

"No."

I bite my tongue. "Okay. If you don't want to invite her, we won't."

"You're not going to give me attitude later?"

"I've never given anyone attitude in my life."

"Right..."

"What is it I wouldn't understand?"

"My mother. She's not a bad person. She worked hard to make sure we had a nice house and food on the table, but she's not there. She's an empty shell."

"That must have been lonely."

"It was nothing," she says.

"It's not nothing."

"You know what it's like to grow up lonely."

"You can admit you hurt once," I say. "I'm not going to think less of you."

She takes a deep breath. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to start thinking about that."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry. I'm disappointing you."

She hurts so much, and there's nothing I can do to take her pain away.

My voice is soft. "It kills me that you believe that."

"I'm sorry," she says. "I'm a mess."

"You're not."

"Don't lie. I am." She takes another deep breath.

"Okay. You're a mess, but you're my mess. Besides, I'm not so neat either."

"That's true."

"Watch it."

She laughs. Finally. "Thanks, Luke."

There's such a warmth to it. For a moment, I'm sure everything between us will be okay. I'm sure she'll be okay.

The muscles in my back relax. "I hate to circle back to the original point, but have you thought about the wedding at all?"

"It's been like four days."

"Every day I'm not married to you is one day too long."

She laughs again, but this time there's a nervousness to it. "You're so fucking cheesy."

"Honestly, Ally. I can envision a hundred different weddings. We could do it at some fantastic hotel ballroom or in the park or even at city hall. Whatever you want."