Hating You, Loving You (Inked Hearts 4)

"No… I don't want him to get attached."

"He called to make sure someone was there to take care of you. He's already attached."

"But I can stop it from going further." I tear my crust into tiny pieces. "I remember. With you and Mom. It killed you, watching her die. Then losing her. Being without her. It's better if I spare him from all that."

His eyes turn down. “Baby girl…”

"But you… you never started dating again."

"I did."

"When?"

He arches a brow. "Is it that implausible."

"No. I just… you've never said anything."

"You think I want you screening my dates?"

"It seems fair."

He laughs. "Maybe. But that's the perk of being the parent. You don't have to play fair." He settles into his seat. "You're right. It was the most painful thing I ever went through, losing your mother. But I wouldn't trade that for anything."

"But—"

"No. You and Gia are the best part of my life. But even if your mom and I had never had kids, if it had just been the two of us, I wouldn't give up a single day of the happiness we had to erase the pain of losing her."

I swallow hard.

"This is life, baby girl. The highs and the lows. The pain that knocks you off course and the bliss that rights your ship. Loving someone, having that time with them, it's worth anything."

"But what if I'm—"

"He knows, doesn't he?"

"Yeah."

"So why is that your decision to make?"

"I don't know." I pull a green pepper from my slice. Eat it in two bites. "I just… I want to protect him. We're new. He can get over me. Find someone else."

"You sure about that?"

"No…" If Dean really went twenty-five years locking everyone else out, it's unlikely he's going to let anyone else in.

"And what about you? Are you going to be okay without him?"

"I'll feel better knowing I'm not hurting him."

"Keeping him from loving you?"

I bite my lip.

"What if he does already?"

"No. It's been nothing."

"Do you love him?"