The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless 8)

The tech came in and then started to roll Mom’s bed out of the room. “We’ll be back soon.”

Dad leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” She smiled before they rolled her away.

Dad returned to the chair and stared straight ahead.

The sound of the wheels of her bed faded as she passed down the hallway.

His tight expression immediately slackened when she was gone, and as he stared at where her bed had been just a moment ago, his breathing starting to escalate, swallowing the lump in his throat over and over.

“Dad, it’s gonna—”

He sobbed—hard. He gripped his chest like he was having a heart attack, and he leaned forward as the sobs racked his entire body. He fell apart right before my eyes, his body shaking with every deep sob, coming apart despite the people who passed in the hallway and had a full view of us.

It was the most painful thing I’d ever seen in my life. “Dad…”

As if I wasn’t even there, he grieved, collapsed, had a complete breakdown.

Watching him like this hurt so bad that I sobbed too. “Dad…” I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me, getting my arms around him and holding him against me, letting him fall into me instead of toward the floor. “It’s going to be okay…it’s going to be okay.” I rubbed his back and felt my tears drip trickle my cheeks to his shoulder, drip onto his shirt and soak it.

“I can’t…I can’t…I can’t live without her.”

“I know. You aren’t going to.”

He continued to sob. “She’s everything to me. I just…I can’t do it.”

“Mom’s got this. Come on, she’s the strongest person we know.” I had to force myself to stop crying because listening to me was probably making it worse. “She’s got the best care. And she’s got the best resilience.”

He sobbed against me for a long time, like he’d been keeping this all inside since the moment he learned the truth. He was always there for me, and now he collapsed because he knew I would be there for him.

I continued to hold him and rub his back, letting him finish until he’d run dry.

He eventually pulled away, his face so red and puffy, there was no way he’d be able to hide this from Mom. “I love her…so fucking much.”

“I know, Dad.”

“No, you don’t.” He dragged his hands down his face to catch his tears. “I wish… I wish it were me. I can’t live without her. She’s everything to me. She’s…” He shook his head, his eyes still wet. “I’ve only loved her more with every passing year, with every wrinkle, with every change that’s come our way. She loved you when she didn’t have to, she gave me the best kids ever, she’s been there for me when I didn’t deserve it. She’s the love of my fucking life, and I can’t let something take her away from me. If you’re lucky enough to find what I’ve found, you never let go. Not ever. And I can’t let go of her… I fucking can’t. If I lose her…I’ll die.”

10

Emerson

I stopped dating.

I canceled my memberships to the dating sites and gave up on the whole institution. Being a single mom meant no one was interested, and pretending I wasn’t a single mom made it much worse.

I was over it.

When Lizzie was out of the house, I might try again.

But the sex wasn’t good like it used to be…with Derek. And there was no connection. After the deep and meaningful relationship I’d had with Derek, in comparison, everything was just…stale.

Despite the fact that Derek turned into an asshole, he still ruined all other men for me.

He ruined Lizzie.

He broke our hearts, and it seemed like they would be broken forever.

I sat in the corporate office and opened the email just sent my way. My excitement piqued, because I hoped it would be an offer from the last job I applied to.

But nope. Another rejection.

“Ugh, Jesus Christ!” My elbows dropped to the desk, and I rested my head on the surface as I gave a loud sigh. “Am I gonna have to work here forever or what?” I sat up again and glanced out the windows that overlooked the rest of the buildings. I didn’t have to see Derek very much, so it wasn’t totally unbearable, but I still hated it. I hated looking at his stupid, lifeless face when I had to.

Speaking of which, I had to go talk to him now.

Just when I stood up, my phone rang, and I recognized the number. “Oh, this should be good.” I answered. “Hey, Mark.”

“I’ve tried to reach Derek directly many times with no response. I need an ETA for his next book. What the hell, Emerson?”

I used to hate it when he spoke to me that way, but now I would gladly go back and be yelled at every single day. Anything was better than working here. “I’ll get it figured out.”