The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless 8)

“I was scared. You were scared. I called him because I didn’t know who else to ask for help. You always tell me to call for help if I’m in danger. Grandpa is too old, so…Derek was all I had.”

Derek knew about this the entire time and didn’t mention it? “What did Derek do?”

“I don’t know. He never said. But I knew he did something because that guy never came back.”

Now Derek officially knew I had been dating a bunch of losers who would never compare to him, and he was the man protecting me from them because they were lesser men than he ever was, even at his worst.

“And when he came over here and we talked, he told me about his mom. He told me that people make mistakes when they’re upset, and he would do anything to take it back. Mom…he cried… He cried in front of me.”

I knew the fight was over. I’d lost this battle, and it was a bit of a relief to let it go.

“I know he messed up, but he’s a good guy. You’re always talking about forgiving people… I think you should forgive him. I know there’s a lot of fish in the sea, but are there really other fish like him?”

No. Not by a long shot. “He asked me to marry him.”

“What?” Lizzie sat up on the couch, her hands gripping the edge of the cushion. “Are you serious?”

I nodded.

“Did you say yes?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You just…said nothing?”

“I left.”

“Mom, you want to be with him, so just say yes. Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Make it uncomplicated. This is Derek Hamilton we’re talking about here. He’s the coolest guy ever—besides Grandpa.”

I gave a slight smile. “I think it’s time for bed, Lizzie.”

“Ugh, Mom.”

“Lizzie.” I gave her a hard stare. “Off to bed.”

She sighed loudly in protest as she grabbed her backpack. She walked past me and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Night.”

“Night, Lizzie.” I watched her go down the hallway and into her bedroom. I waited a few minutes before I grabbed my phone and opened the message box that held my conversation with Derek. I stared at the screen awhile before I typed in the message and hit send. Can you come over?

Derek lightly tapped on the door when he arrived fifteen minutes later.

The wine had dulled my nerves, but it wasn’t enough to stop my stomach from flipping over and over. I rested my forehead against the wood for a few seconds before I opened the door and came face-to-face with Derek Hamilton.

He was in sweatpants and a t-shirt, not even changing before he came over because he came as quickly as possible at my call. His eyes burned into mine with his usual intensity, trying to read my expression because he was too anxious to wait for me to speak my mind.

A man so handsome had never crossed my path before. He looked like the celebrity crushes I’d had my entire life, too beautiful to actually be real, but he was real. He was tall, masculine, muscular, intelligent, sensitive…perfect. And he was worth all the heartache, because he was the one. “My answer is no.”

The disappointment that filled his eyes was so heavy, his entire expression changed. It fell immediately, like I’d just stabbed him in the chest with a hot knife.

“But I want to make this work…”

He took a breath so quickly he practically gasped, like he had just been drowning and finally took that first breath of fresh air he desperately needed. Both of his shoulders rose as his chest filled, and the emotional sheen that entered his gaze was instantaneous.

“I want to take it slow. I just need some time.”

He crossed the threshold and came to me, his arms sliding around my body, circling me with his warmth and his protectiveness, his cologne hitting me like a potent memory. His large hand flattened against the center of my back as he pulled me in, his head dipping so his face could be close to mine. His mouth was near enough for a kiss, but he didn’t try to place his lips on mine. With the door open behind him, he held me in my apartment, holding me up because I felt too weak to stand on my own.

It felt so good to feel his embrace again, to feel him be there for me rather than me being there for him. The love between us was a physical object that wrapped around us both, that could be touched as well as sensed. It was back now, just the way it used to be, because my heart stopped blocking it. I let him in now and felt the peace return to my body, felt the weight of despair leave my shoulders.

My arms moved around his neck, and I rested my forehead against his chin, my eyes down at his collarbone and chest that was visible underneath the collar of his shirt. This was the only man I wanted to be with, and there was no crime I wouldn’t forgive him for. That was the price I paid for loving one man so deeply. I loved him so much that I believed in his honesty and his commitment. I knew he was a good man who would never hurt me again, that he had grown into the man he was supposed to be a long time ago. I had to pay a price for his growth…but it was worth it.