Broken and Screwed (Broken and Screwed 1)

They dissolved into laughter, but I could only stand there in shock. Really? That was how they thought of me? A disgruntled rumble started in my stomach and I felt it rise up at an alarming rate. I was nauseous a second later and felt vomit in my throat. Did they not realize what they had lectured me on a month ago? But maybe they didn’t remember it. Maybe they had forgotten how Jesse only had to snap his finger and I was at his beck and call.

A shiver raced up my spine. He was gone. I wouldn’t see him, I didn’t know when or if I would see him again.

When the bell rang, Marissa and Angie stopped sharing Snow White jokes at my expense and sighed. Angie groaned. “God, here we go. First period, girls.”

Marissa wiped at her eye and sniffed. “Yeah, we can do it. It’s the beginning of our last year.”

I looked at them as if they’d both lost their heads.

They rolled their eyes at my expression. Angie headed out first with a grin, “I’m off to college biology. See you two later.”

Two other cheerleaders whisked Marissa away before either of us could reply, but as I watched them, I was happy for them. Justin held his arm out for Angie as she came to his side, and the two of them walked together down the hallway. On the other end of the hallway was Marissa. Half of her friends seemed to bounce in excitement down the hallway while the other half, like her, seemed to sexily stalk down the hallway. Guys turned and watched their group. From the hidden smirks and winks, Marissa’s friends were fully aware of the power they had over the male population.

“Hi!”

I jumped out of my skin as I whirled around. Then I patted my chest and tried to regain my breath as I saw Eric there. He had a small grin that matched the whites in his blue eyes, which were warm as he looked down at me.

“Hi.”

“What class do you have?”

“I have a free period now.”

“So…”

“So, probably the library. Why?”

“Oh.” He bobbed his head in approval. “A bunch of us are headed to the cafeteria. Its way easier to work and stuff there, plus there’s the vending machines too. We can’t snack in the library. Or talk. You wanna come? It’d be fun to talk.”

“Talk?”

“Yeah. Talk. You know, see how your summer went and everything. I was looking for you at a bunch of the parties this last month, but I didn’t see you. Were you sick?”

“Oh no.” Jesse had been at those parties. “Nothing like that.” I hadn’t wanted to prolong the goodbye or worse.

“Oh. Okay.” He scratched his head. When one of the football players shouted his name, he flashed them a grin. “So do you want to come? It’d be fun. Chester was in Mississippi all summer and I guess he’s got some doozies for stories.”

“Uh.” I was lost. Did I want to talk? Did that stand for more? And then I shook my head at myself. I needed to relax. “Yeah. I’ll come to talk.”

His smile froze for a moment, but then he doubled its brightness. “Good. That’s awesome. I’ll buy you a soda even.”

I laughed at myself. Oh dear. Look at me, so tense at getting a soda from someone. I was an idiot. “Thanks. I’ll get the next time.”

Eric laughed beside me as we turned for the cafeteria. “Sounds great. Think of it as a date.” And he winked at me before he opened the door over my head and I passed under his arm.

As I went through, something flooded me. It felt good, relaxing. It felt right; my chest loosened a little bit. I could breathe easier. And then I watched in horror where Eric sat. He tossed his bag to one empty stool and hopped on the other one. As he rested his forearms on the table, his smile seemed contagious to the people across from him. One of them, as my heart skipped a beat, was Jesse’s ex-girlfriend, Sarah Shastaine.

She gave Eric a shy smile and then tucked a strand of her soft blonde hair back. When he turned and motioned for me to join them, she turned as well. The same horror was in her eyes. I saw it for a split second before she turned away, but it was enough. Hurt, fear, longing, and another emotion all flashed over her face. My chest was so tight again.

Sarah Shastaine was perfect. Angie and Marissa might’ve given me grief about being perfect, but she was the real deal. She was petite with a heart shaped face. She was nice. She was popular. So many guys lined up to date her and I heard one of them groan to his buddies. They wanted to scoop her up and shield her from the world. There was something fallen in her demeanor.

Had Jesse done that? Had he hurt her that much?

Had he broken her? Tears came to my eyes, but I held them at bay. Was he going to do the same to me? But that was preposterous. I hadn’t seen him in a month. I didn’t know the next time I would see him.

“Come on, Alex!” Eric gestured to me again. His smile seemed so genuine.

I was the worst person in the world.

As I sat, Sarah peeked up and gave me a cautious wave. “Hi, Alexandra.”

“Sarah.” My tone was equally as cautious. What was she going to say?

Then she cleared her throat. It was so soft and dainty sounding. All the bigger guys in the room positioned themselves towards our table. I knew they wanted to protect her still.

Her eyes were downcast as she played with her notebook. “How’s Jesse doing?”

From the slight hitch in her tone, I wanted to recoil backwards. She was still in love with him. I knew it. I was horrible. My voice came out raspy, “He’s…okay.”

She looked up. Her blue eyes were startlingly beautiful. They shimmered as they held mine captive. “Really?”

I jerked a shoulder up.

Another sad smile came from her before she dipped her head back down. “That’s good.”

I could hear the relief in her voice and cringed against it. She really still loved him.

“He deserves all the success that he’s had recently.”

I found myself nodding with her. “Yeah, you’re right. He’s doing really great.”

Then she grinned at Eric. “And you’re going to be as successful as him. You’ll lead our Wolverines to a state championship like him. I know it.”

“Yeah.” His grin slipped a bit and he leaned forward. The Adam’s apple in his throat bobbed up and down. As he cleared his throat, he glanced down at the floor. “I’ll sure try, I know that much.”

“What does she mean?”

He shrugged. “Nothing much.”

“Oh, that’s not true.” Sarah reached forward and placed her dainty hand over his. “He’s the starting forward this year. And our captain.”

“Really?”

He lifted another shoulder and looked away. “It don’t mean much.”

“It means a lot, Eric.” Sarah disagreed with him. Her sparkling eyes wouldn’t look away. “Jesse had big shoes for you to fill, but I have no doubt you’re up for the job. You’ll do wonderful.”

He laughed, but the sound was uneasy.

I straightened in my seat and reassessed Jesse’s perfect ex-girlfriend. Who was she kidding? I wasn’t intending to be mean, but Eric couldn’t fill Jesse’s shoes on his best day. Jesse was going to go professional. Everyone knew that. Eric would be lucky if he could get a scholarship at a lower level college. I might’ve checked out from a lot of school activities over the year, but that was the truth. Even I knew it. And for her to pump him up, make him feel as if he could do what Jesse could, told me a few things about Sarah Shastaine. For one, she wasn’t as nice as I thought. And two, did she want to set him up for failure? That wasn’t a friend in my mind.

But I bit my lip.

Eric seemed uncomfortable; he kept glancing at me. When I gave him a small smile, he relaxed, but his shoulders still drooped. And then I turned to Sarah. Her smile was still dazzling and the warmth in her eyes didn’t shift away.