Brave (A Wicked Trilogy 3)

I turned, facing her as one thing she said took center stage. “What other things?”

Faye glanced at the empty bed and then her pale gaze met mine. “Do you remember when I talked to you about being . . . addicted?”

Everything in me stilled. I’d planned on talking to her about that, but well, I kind of got stabbed to death. “Yes. I remember.”

“I hope you slept off the worst of it—the craving that comes after feeding, but it’ll linger for a while. You’ll have this need.”

I totally unders

tood what she was saying, but acid poured into my stomach nonetheless. That need had been there before I’d fed off Ren.

“You’ll have to be careful,” she advised. “When you’re with Ren.”

She didn’t need to elaborate with where she was going with that. Folding my arms over my waist, I paced in a small circle. “You talk like glimmering skin and pointy ears aren’t a big deal.”

“To me, they aren’t.”

I shot her a dark look. “Well, no shit.”

“You can barely notice,” she added. “Things may seem overwhelming now, but it could’ve been worse.”

For a moment, I was dumbfounded. “Yeah, I could be dead, and maybe that was meant to happen.”

Shock splashed across Faye’s face. “You don’t mean that.”

Did I? I wasn’t so sure. It’s not like I had a death wish, but I . . . I just didn’t feel like me anymore and I had no control. Not over my life, my fate, my purpose, or even my body.

And I remembered that moment of disappointment when I came to out in the courtyard and realized I hadn’t died.

The knots in my stomach expanded. I picked up my pace. “I almost died in a fight I should’ve won. I was forced to feed on my boyfriend.” My voice rose a notch as I thought about what I’d done to him afterward, what we did. “And I woke up days later to find out that my actual body has changed. Not to mention, the fact that I was held against my will by a psychotic fae prince. Don’t act like what has happened to me is just a normal Tuesday. My entire world changed the moment I found out I was a halfling. Almost everything I knew up until that part was a fucking lie, but when I looked in the mirror, I still looked like me. I was still Ivy. When I look in the mirror now, I don’t recognize myself, and that isn’t just because of the physical stuff.”

Sympathy crept into her face, and that was possibly the worst thing to see. Taking a deep breath, I looked away and refocused. “How long do you think this whole wanting to suck people dry thing will last?”

Faye was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know. Maybe a few days. A couple of weeks.”

Weeks? Muscles in my shoulders tightened. I couldn’t deal with weeks. “Have you never fed?”

“Never.”

Stopping, I looked over my shoulder at her. “And Drake never noticed that? He didn’t think it was suspicious?”

She twisted toward me. “Drake never really paid attention to me. Breena and Valor usually kept him occupied when he wasn’t trying to convince you to come to the dark side.”

I frowned, thinking something about that didn’t sound right.

“I know you’ve been through a lot, Ivy, and finding the Crystal is the last thing on your mind, but I wanted to tell you that we are expecting the fae we were waiting for to arrive tomorrow. There was a delay in them getting here. They’ve had to be careful to not arise the suspicion of the Prince.” She rose, smoothing her hands on her denim jeans. “I hope you can join us.”

In other words, she meant she hoped I pulled my shit together long enough to be there. I nodded absently, my thoughts stuck on what Faye had just said.

How in the world did the Prince never realize she hadn’t fed around him? Wouldn’t someone on Team Dark Prince think that was suspicious?

Because I sure as hell thought the fact they hadn’t noticed was crazy suspicious.

Chapter 9

I guessed Faye deemed me not a risk, so I was allowed to leave the infirmary. She walked with me though the hotel, and I figured it wasn’t because she was worried I was going to start attacking fae. Faye was with me because I got my ass handed to me. She was like the bodyguard I didn’t want and shouldn’t need.

Luckily, she left me at the elevator, but my steps slowed as I walked toward the room I’d been sharing with Ren. My heart was tripping over itself as I stopped in front of the door. Was he inside? Trepidation filled me as I reached for the handle.

God, when did I become such a chicken shit? It was ridiculous. Taking a deep breath, I threw open the door and stepped inside the cool room.

The bed was made perfectly, but empty and quiet. It looked the way I’d left it, plain and neat.

I missed my apartment.

I missed me.

Exhaling roughly, I headed to the bathroom. Days’ worth of grossness had built up on my skin and hair, and I had to believe that once I showered, things would be clearer, they’d make more sense, and maybe—just maybe—I would feel like me, despite everything.

I kept my mind purposely blank as I stripped off the clothing, avoiding the mirror as I walked past it to the shower.

The last thing I wanted to know was if my boobs also shimmered.

I scrubbed and scrubbed like I could somehow rub off the stupid glimmer. By the time I was done, my skin felt pristine and actually kind of hurt. I’d just finished slipping on a pair of leggings and a shirt Tink had gotten me for my birthday last year—zombie troll dolls, because of course—when the door opened. I whipped around, the air lodging firmly in my throat when I saw it was Ren.

He came to a complete stop, his eyes widening slightly as his gaze roamed over me from head to toe, notably getting more hung up on the shirt than anything else, but still the shock was there. And I didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t expecting me to be in the room or it was due to my new glittery appearance.

But he . . . he looked good. Healthy and beautiful in that wild way of his. Looking at him now, I could almost imagine that I hadn’t fed on him. That I hadn’t seen him with those wretched shadows under his eyes or his sunken cheekbones.

I remembered what I’d done to him, though. That memory fueled the words that parted my lips. “Like the new look?” My voice dripped with acid. “I look like a vampire from Twilight.” Turning my head, I yanked back the wet curls. “And look! Don’t need a costume for Halloween now that I got these super awesome pointy ears.”

His head tilted to the side as he stared at me. “You look beautiful as always.”

A harsh laugh burst out of me. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he said. “Beautiful and hot. The shirt is a little weird though.”

“A gift from Tink,” I explained, wondering if Ren was for real. How could he think I was beautiful when I truly looked like I had fae blood in me now?

“Figured.” A wry grin tugged at his full mouth. “God, you have no idea how I feel seeing you standing in front of me. Alive. Talking. Sexy even in a shirt that shouldn’t have ever been made.”

I stared at him. “My skin is shimmering and my ears are pointy now.”

“I didn’t even notice. All I was paying attention to was the fact you were standing and breathing.” His gaze flickered over me again. “But now that you mention it, I’m kind of digging it.”

My mouth dropped open. “How in the world could you be digging that I look more like the creatures we were born to hunt and kill? That doesn’t make sense.”

Ren looked taken aback. “You don’t get it. Your skin could be green and your ears the size of UFOs and I’d still think you’re absolutely stunning.”

At that point, I started wondering if Ren was high.

“I’m about to sound cheesy as fuck and I’m kind of surprised that I even have to say this, but it’s not just about how you look. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a way nice bonus, but it’s you, Ivy. What’s on the inside, Sweetness.”

Whoa.

That wasn’t cheesy at all. It was . . . it was actually a beautiful thing to say and something I so desperately needed to hear and wanted to believe.

Silence stretched out between us and then Ren moved. Kicking the door shut behind him, he started toward me, intent tensing the lines of his mouth. Ren was such a shower and not a teller. He was going to prove that he still thought I was beautiful. He was going to take me in his arms. He would kiss me, and I didn’t know what I would do, what I was capable of.

I locked up. “Don’t.”