Holding You (Love Wanted in Texas 3)

Pulling my books closer to my chest, I smiled.

“Oh dear lord, you’re thinking about Mathews aren’t you?”

Chuckling, I asked, “How did you know?”

Grace reached out and gave me a playful push, causing me to stumble a few steps. “It’s all over your damn face. What, did you have hot sex last night or something?”

There was no way I could hide the happiness I felt. “Sex with Colt is hot every time.”

“Ugh. Gag me, Lauren.”

Laughing, I laced my arm around hers. “I can’t wait to get home. I’m so over school.”

Grace waved to some guy who walked by and said hello to her. “Me too. I just want to dig in the garden with Grams and not have to worry about anything.”

Grace and Alex were both going to school for Horticulture. They loved getting their hands into Grams garden. Me? I enjoyed gardening, but I preferred to be with the horses. This summer Daddy was going to train me on the books and I was beyond thrilled to be able to gain knowledge on a piece of his business. But I wanted to gain more on the horse side of the business. Daddy even had a few trips planned to take a look at some horses and Colt and I were both going. Smiling slightly, I couldn’t believe how threatened I was before about Colt working for my father.

Grace and I walked back to the house instead of taking the bus. It had felt good to get fresh air and just talk about stuff. Colt only had one final left, while Grace, Alex, Will and I all had two left. Once we all finished with our finals, we would be heading back to Mason. Will and Colt had been packing up stuff and getting the house ready to lock up for the summer. Colt would be coming back for football early and I was trying to figure out a way to let my parents know I’d be heading back early with him. They were not going to be happy about that. Colt was the first really serious relationship I was in. Roger was just . . . fun times. We hung out, the kissing got hot and heavy a few times, but my mind wasn’t consumed with him twenty-four hours a day like it was with Colt.

“Besides the hot sex, things seem to be going good between you and Colt,” Grace said as we walked up the driveway to the house.

“Amazing. Perfect. Amazing.”

Grace laughed. “That bad huh?”

Stopping, I turned to Grace as she stopped and stared at me with a goofy smile. “Grace, sometimes . . . well sometimes I feel like I’m living this dream and I’m so scared that I’m going to wake up.” Glancing down, I shook my head before looking back up at Grace. “I pushed Colt away for so long, fought feelings that I had just because of my pride. I guess I’m just scared that this is to good to be true. Like I’m waiting for the floor to be ripped out from underneath me.”

Grace reached out and took my hand as she rubbed her thumb back and forth. “Lauren, what you and Colt share is amazing. The fact that three of my very best friends have found this amazing love makes me so happy for y’all. Honey, you can’t keep worrying about the what-ifs. Look at Will and Alex. Luke and Libby. They are so in love and happy. Sweetie, if it’s meant to be it will be. Enjoy every single day together, Lauren. Each day is a gift so don’t ever take it for granted or think you can put something off until tomorrow because you might not get the chance.”

A breeze blew as I watched it toss Grace’s long hair around. Why hadn’t Grace, Maegan, and Taylor been as lucky as the rest of us? Grace and Maegan were both battling demons they both insisted on fighting alone, and Taylor was so caught up in being the perfect student for her parents, she wasn’t enjoying her life.

“Thank you, Grace. I really hope that your time is coming next. You deserve to be in love and happy. To find the frosting to your cake!”

Grace laughed as she rolled her eyes. “You and your damn sayings, Lauren.”

As we walked back to the house I finally got the courage to talk to Grace about Noah. “Grace, may I ask you something personal?”

“Of course you can, Lauren.”

Worrying my lower lip, I asked, “Grace, why did you push Noah away? Alex and Libby said you seemed to really like him a lot.”

Grace’s whole body tensed as we continued to walk. “I do really like Noah. Or did like him anyway. He’s married now, so it doesn’t really matter.”

Knowing Grace needed to talk about this, I pressed on. “But that doesn’t answer why you pushed him away.”

Grace chuckled. “It’s pretty simple. I was scared of my feelings. That seems to be a common thing in our little group.”

Nodding my head, I whispered, “Yeah, it sure is.”

Grace pushed her hair behind her ear as she inhaled a deep breath and slowly let it out. “When I was in high school I let a guy have almost complete control over me, Lauren. I vowed to never let that happen again. Actually, I vowed to never get lost in another guy again. One night with Noah and I was completely and utterly lost. He brought out feelings in me that I had never experienced before. The way he looked into my eyes was as if I was the very air he breathed. It felt like it was too much too fast. If that makes sense.”

Smiling, I said, “That’s how Colt looks at me.”

Grace glanced over to me with a weak smile. “He does look at you like that. And my brother looks at Libby like that, and Will does the same with Alex.”

“And that scared you, Grace?”

Nodding her head, her face looked distraught. “Yeah, it scared the piss out of me, because I knew I was looking at him the same way. The last thing I wanted to do was open my heart up again. What if Noah ended up breaking it? I’m not sure I could have survived it.”