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Then, she answered.

“Hey, Heather! Is everything okay? This is Lynda. ”

I was so stunned that I couldn’t even think of any words to form in my mouth.

“Um. . . ”

“Heather, are you okay?”

I could hear the satisfaction in her voice, knowing she had caught me off-guard.

“Yes, I am. I must have dialed Josh’s number by mistake. I was trying to…trying to call Ari to see how she’s doing. ”

“Oh, okay. Well we literally just walked into Josh’s apartment, and he’s taking a shower. So should I let him know you called?”

What a fucking bitch. I hate her. “Ah, no. Like I said, I meant to call Ari, so no, that’s fine. Thanks, Lynda. Enjoy yourself. ”

“Oh, believe me, we intend to have fun tonight…if you know what I mean. ”

I just hung up. I leaned over, and the next thing I knew, I felt Jerry’s hands on my back.

“Heather! Oh my gosh, are you going to get sick?”

I couldn’t breathe. He’s going to sleep with her? Oh god. I pushed him away, and now, he was going to sleep with her. I. Can’t. Breathe.

I looked up at Jerry. His face was filled with concern. He truly seemed to be worried about me. Maybe he’s the one? I didn’t think I’d ever have to worry about him leaving me. He didn’t seem like the type of guy who would play around.

“Jerry, I don’t think I can drive. Can you please take me home?”

Jerry smiled at me and leaned down to pick me up. As he carried me to his BMW, he whispered in my ear,

“I’ll do anything for you, baby. ”

***

The light shining through the window was killing my head. I pulled the pillow over my face and let out a moan. Oh god. I hadn’t felt this bad in months. Holy hell, how much did I have to drink? I started to play back the evening in my head. Jerry had stopped and picked up some beer and the fixing’s to make Italian Margaritas. I remembered drinking…a lot…laughing. . . kissing and.

I sat up in bed so fast that I thought I was going to puke. I looked down to see that I was naked.

Oh. My. God. No!

Slowly looking to my left, I almost jumped when I saw Jerry sleeping next to me. No. Oh god no. I very carefully tried to get out of bed, and then it hit me. I was sore. . . down there. When I pulled the sheets back, I saw blood.

I got up and ran into the bathroom. I barely made it in time to throw up. After ten minutes of getting sick while Jerry asked if I wanted a warm washcloth, I sat back against the wall and cried my eyes out. I lost my virginity to a guy I wasn’t even dating…when I was drunk… and I don’t even remember it.

I closed my eyes and pictured Josh telling me my first time had to be special. I’d wanted my first time to be with someone I loved. I wanted it to be with Josh. I had not wanted to be drunk and sick the next morning with no memory of even having had sex in the first place.

I leaned back over the toilet and started throwing up again.

“Jesus, Heather. You’re not much of a drinker, are you?” Jerry said with a small laugh.

Does he even know? How could he not know that I was a virgin?

“I just need a few more minutes. I’m so sorry. ” I said.

He looked down at me with pity. “Should I make you some eggs, babe?”

Ugh, he called me babe. “Sure. ” It was not lost on me that I was sitting, naked, on my damn bathroom floor. I closed my eyes and felt the tears again.



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