Domino Effect (Effect 2)

I ROLLED OVER and looked at the clock. It was five in the morning, and I hadn’t slept worth a shit. My head throbbed, and my throat felt dry. Throwing the sheet aside, I sat up and placed my feet on the floor. Hell, it’s cold! I leaned my head to the side to crack my neck. For a few seconds after the pop, my head felt pressure-free. The relief was short-lived, as the suffocating throb started again. At least it was obvious from the throbbing pain that I was alive. I pushed myself off the bed and threw on some sweatpants.

My head was a fucking mess after seeing Nikola last night. I was still in love with her, even having not seen her for almost a year. Shit. Last night had been a disaster from the get-go. I rehashed what had happened for the millionth time.

Adam, my business partner and best friend since childhood, and I were the only ones at Club Envy. We always closed on New Year’s Eve so we could go out and have some fun. The club lost a shit-ton of money, but our employees appreciated it, so what the hell? I hated having the bar closed since losing Nikola. It meant I had to find something to fill the hours. For the fifth time, I made sure all the cameras were working before I headed to Adam’s office. Since it reminded me of the girl I’d lost in a bout of stupidity, I rarely used my office. Instead, I’d taken over the security station within the club. I peered through the open door and saw Adam focused on his computer.

I knocked. “Hey, man, you need anything?”

Adam hit a few more keys then closed his laptop. “Nah, I got it done. I’m about to leave. You still going with Trigger tonight?”

Adam and Ainsley had invited me to hang out with them. But, hell, that was like salt in the wound. I was happy for my friend, but there was also a tinge of jealously. I’d had that happiness once but had thrown it away. New Year’s was not a good time to be around a newly engaged couple. They’d be involved in a complete shag-fest tonight.

I cracked my neck. “Yeah, he’s convinced we’ll get more ass by teaming up. I figure I’ll see if anything catches my fancy. May get a quick fuck in. Who knows?”

Adam gave me that look, so I headed it off before he could bring up…her. “I know you think I should contact Nikola, but after what I put her through with my addiction, she deserves to be happy.”

Adam stood to leave. “I know. I’m not going to say anything about it. You know what I think, but you’re your own man. It’s your life. I think you need to take your own advice—you know, what you told me about Ainsley. That’s all.”

Adam knew I wasn’t going to respond to that statement. We’d been friends for too damn long.

We were in the bar area turning off all the lights when Adam asked, “Where are you going tonight with Trigger? Is it that girl bar he likes to go to when there isn’t anything here he wants to tap?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, Coyote Ugly. He says it’s best place to get a piece. You still taking Ainsley into the city tonight?”

We walked out of the club, and I locked up, rechecking everything as we went. Outside, it was cold enough to see our breath in the night air.

“Yeah, after all the family time we had over Christmas, I wanted us to have some uninterrupted us time. She’s with our moms right now, baking.”

Ainsley’s mom had come back for Christmas and was leaving tomorrow to go back to Arizona to be with her aunt for a little while longer. The past week had been nothing but celebration after Adam and Ainsley announced their engagement. I was happy for them, I really was, but it hurt—I wanted that, too.

We walked a few steps as Adam added, “I think we’ve about figured out a date. Sometime this summer after she’s done with school, before she starts working.”

Adam had asked me to be his best man the moment he told me he’d asked Ainsley to marry him. Of course I’d agreed. I was honored. “Sounds good. I’m happy for you, man. You deserve it.”

I veered off to my SUV and ended the conversation. “Have fun, Happy New Year. Are you guys still coming over tomorrow for the traditional collards and black-eyed peas at my mum’s?”

“Of course we are! Ainsley talked to your mom and is bringing some sort of dessert she’s baking. Happy New Year to you, too, Brandt. See ya tomorrow.”

As I closed the door I said, “See ya.”

I put the key in the car and cranked it, cursing myself. I hadn’t used my automatic car starter. I hated the cold, but I hated wearing a coat even more.

Trigger texted me.

Trigger: You ready? I’ll meet you there. I’m about two minutes away. My buddy texted and said there’s gonna be pussy a-plenty.

Me: I’m on my way.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I tried to tell myself that I’d be fucking someone senseless tonight. Maybe that would get this restless feeling out of my system. I made a mental note to call my sponsor this week. I needed to talk to him. He helped keep it real and understoo

d me in a way that you just can’t unless you’re a recovering addict.

A few minutes later, I pulled up to the bar. In pink neon letters was the name of the bar.

I opened my car door and headed inside. Rock music blared and there were girls dancing up on the bar. I saw a lot of potential ass in here, but every time I tried to think about fucking someone, Nikola’s face flashed in my mind. That was always the problem that kept me from pursuing anyone else. I just couldn’t go through with it. The one time I had, guilt had plagued my thoughts for days. I spotted Trigger across the bar at a table with two other ladies.

Obviously, everyone was on the prowl tonight, looking for hookups. Lust filled the air as bodies ground against one another. Some rubbed against me. Nothing happened in response, I wasn’t interested. Hell, I felt like a pansy.

I went over to the table. “Hey, man.”

Trigger looked like as if he’d already been hitting the booze pretty hard. I drank in moderation these days. I’d learned the hard way that anything in excess led to trouble.

“Hey, Brandt. This is Amy and Lucy.”

They were both gorgeous. I tried to force my mind to get in the game. Nikola wasn’t an option, so I needed to make the most of what was left of my life: empty meaningless sex. Amy licked her lips, and I decided to go for her since Lucy already had her hand on Trigger. Amy had blonde hair and vivid blue eyes. She wore a tight, black mini skirt with a sparkly blue halter top. The outline of her nipples showed through the top. She’d be a good distraction—I hoped.

“What’s your poison, Amy?”

Amy leaned in closer to me. “Cranberry and Vodka.”

“You got it.”

I signaled and the waitress came to the table. “Guinness for me, cranberry and vodka for the lady.”

The waitress nodded and took off toward the bar.

Amy put her lips to my ear. “How about you and I go somewhere and start the night right before our drinks come back—there’s not room for two of us under the table. I want to take turns getting each other off all night while we ring in the New Year.”

Well, she was forward. Trigger gave me a wink and took a swig of his beer. I leaned over slightly to see that Lucy was under the table giving him head. Fuck. The girls were horny tonight that was for damn sure.

I looked at Amy and decided some space was needed while I tried to push Nikola to the far recesses of my mind. “Give me a minute. I’ll be back.”

I pushed away from the table and headed to the bar to intercept my beer. She called after me, “Hurry back.”

Without bothering to reply, I kept walking. There was a very good chance I would not come back to the table. I might just leave. I was messed up. I’d definitely be setting up a meeting next week with my sponsor. Decision made, I started toward the bar. I’d take a shot, pay for the drinks, then leave. The music rocked around me, but I wanted to be home. Making it to the bar, I laid my hand on the cool counter.

When the bartender came over, I said, “Shot of tequila.”

“You got it.” She went to work, barely speaking as the throng of people kept moving toward the bar. The place was packed.

I pulled out a twenty and handed it to her. “Keep the change.”

“Thanks.” She stuffed it in her pocket and went to the next customer.

Someone pushed past me as I was about to down the shot.

“I’m so sorry. It’s packed.”

I froze. That voice. I turned and the auburn-haired, green-eyed goddess I’d only dreamed about seeing again stared back at me. She had on leather pants and a low-cut red shirt. I remembered how good those breasts felt in my hands. My cock was fully erect now at the sight of her. I still wanted her. I still loved her.

“Nikola—”

“Brandt—”

Her eyes searched mine, and I saw it—the flicker of emotion between us that I’d thought was dead. She still had some sort of feelings for me. But too what extent?

I set my shot back on the counter. “How have you been?”

“Good, how about you?” She swallowed hard, and I could feel something crackling between us.

Before I had a chance to respond, hands came around my waist. “I was missing you at our table. I think it’s time we found ourselves some privacy. I want you.”

Fucking hell.

Nikola started walking backward. “I can’t do this. I need to go.”

She turned and rushed into the sea of people. I called after her, “It’s not what you think.”

Fuck.

I took Amy’s hands off me. “It’s not going to happen.”

She pouted, but I turned away, searching for Nikola. I needed to find her and explain what she’d seen. A new determination to fight for her— for us—filled me. I hoped she’d listen to me.

Pushing through the crowd, I saw the top of her auburn hair at the side door. Not caring about anyone else, I pushed harder to get through. If she’d give me a chance to apologize, to make things right, we could take it slow. The metal door was heavy as I shoved it open. Nikola stood there, waiting on the curb.

“Nikola…wait. It’s not what you think.”

She turned, an alarmed look in her eyes. “That’s what you always used to say when I’d catch you with drugs.”

Her words knocked the breath out of me. Nikola was the one who’d been the most affected by my drug addiction. “Nikola, I don’t know what to say… I’ve changed. Can we talk?”

Her lip trembled and it looked like she was about to capitulate when a black sports car pulled up beside her. Some dark-haired, built asshole got out of the car. He looked me up and down, sizing me up. A possessive rage boiled within me as he put his hands around Nikola’s waist. It was an instinct that had been ingrained in me—she’d been mine for so long before I’d lost her. I reminded myself she wasn’t mine now. Whoever this guy was, he leaned down in her ear and whispered something.

I gave it one last shot. “Nikola, just two minutes of your time.”

She looked at me with tears in her eyes as the guy brought her closer. She shook her head. “I can’t, Brandt. Not right now. I hope you’re better, but I…I…I need to go.”

The asshole opened her door and said something else. She shook her head, and he shut the door. He glared my way. “Brandt, I think you’ve caused her enough grief. Leave her the hell alone. She doesn’t need someone who can’t be depended on.”

I was stunned, not knowing what to say after that low blow. I deserved it, but it still felt like shit. I had changed and was clean. The guy looked at me like he had Nikola’s best interest at heart. I wondered if she’d moved on with him. If I was too late. Am I too late? The Nikola I remembered was full of life, happy. In the past, she’d have run into my arms and I would have kissed the life from her. We’d been each other’s everything. The Nikola that I’d just seen had looked broken and sad. All I wanted to do was chase her and explain that I was better. She’d been changed by my decision to use. This was all my fault. The red lights faded as the car drove away with the love of my life in the passenger seat.

I forced myself to think of something other than last night. Making my way to the kitchen, I put a pod in the coffee machine and pushed the blue button that would give me my beloved cup of java. Finally taking a sip of black coffee, I looked around my house. It looked as if I hadn’t been here long. Only the essentials occupied the space, no decorations. In the last place I’d owned, Nikola had lived there with me. She’d taken care of making the place feel like a home. Our home. Our home was where all hell had broken loose, ending us. After rehab, I couldn’t live with the guilt of what I’d done, so I’d sold the house and bought a smaller place. This place.

Needing to talk to my sponsor, Quentin, ASAP, I picked up my phone from the counter where it had been tossed last night and sent a text.

Me: Hey, can you meet today? I need to talk. Saw Nikola last night.

Quentin: Sure thing. Can we meet at Dave’s Diner in fifteen minutes?

&n

bsp; Me: Thanks, man. Works for me.

The diner was only five minutes away. I made my way back to the bedroom to change into jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Hopefully, Quentin could help me sort through all this shit. Even though I loved Nikola, I had to wonder if it was harming me to hold onto the memory of us. Maybe she was better off without me. Would she be better off if I let her go…forever? I hoped Quentin could help— somehow.

THE AROMA OF sausage and biscuits caused me to open my eyes. Grandmama was up and cooking breakfast. My body was so tired—I hadn’t slept very well last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Brandt at the club last night. His blue eyes pierced me in my dreams. I longed to run my hands through the blond hair that fell to his shoulders. I wanted his strong arms wrapped around my body. Last night, Brandt had looked healthy—not sick like the last time I’d seen him, right before he entered rehab. Instead of going to another bar after seeing him, I decided to spend some time with Grandmama in the comforts of her home. She’d always helped to ground me while I sorted through tough stuff. Even though I had my own place, I had a room here. Grandmama’s home was the place that gave me solace and peace.

I got out of bed and glanced up at the kitten puzzle we’d put in a picture frame. Three kittens in a sewing basket looked back at me. Putting the puzzle together was a project Grandmama and I had done on a rainy day. A perfect memory for a perfect day. I headed toward the kitchen. I imagined seeing my Grandaddy at the end of the long bar, on the last of its five barstools. He’d always greeted me with, Morning, monkey, your apple juice is in the refrigerator-chilled like you like it. But he’d died three years ago from lung cancer. I pushed the memory aside. Losing a grandparent was hard.

“Morning, Grandmama. Breakfast smells delicious.”

Grandmama turned and gave me a sweet smile. Her blonde hair was short and perfectly styled. Her blue eyes sparkled—she didn’t look a day more than fifty, even though she was in her seventies. She was beautiful. I hoped I aged well, like she had.