Dissipate

Deep breaths expelled from my body. “You can do this, Kenzie. Whatever is in the box . . . you can handle it.”

Lifting the lid, there were several flat discs that I had no idea what they did. Upon closer inspection, the first disc was labeled Kenzie and David at the Beach. The next disc read Kenzie’s First Birthday. Were these memories of my mom and dad—together?

An envelope piqued my interest that had my name printed on it. Hastily opening it, I saw there was a Social Security Card and a letter. Seeing the Social Security Card lessened my anxiety as now I would have the necessary documentation to finish registering for college. It was one of the approved government ID’s I could use.

Sitting in the chair at the table the box was on, I read the letter.

My Dearest Kenzie,

If you are reading this without me, then something has happened to me at The Society and I thought it important for you to leave. I can’t imagine what, but nevertheless something has. We’re about to embark on a journey together that’s going to allow me to raise you and be your mom.

With your father passing, I’m lost and can’t find solid ground. Money is running out and I can’t bear the thought of sending you somewhere to be cared for while I barely make ends meet. We only have six months left before we run out of money. Any job I’m able to find can’t even cover the daycare costs. Since I haven’t been working, my teaching certificate expired and there isn’t time to renew it. I have no family, no way to support us, no hope left for survival.

A man named Jacob approached me the other day while we are at the park. Jacob promised me a life without worry. There are no financial burdens, as The Society takes care of themselves. I’m getting the chance to raise you and be with you every second of the day. The rules are strict where we’re going, but I’ll have you with me.

I’ve been given three days to get everything in order. I’ve sold everything we have and we aren’t allowed to bring anything in to The Society; but in case we leave, I wanted to preserve some of our memories for you to have. It was hard getting rid of most everything, but The Society requires that no ties be left. Hopefully, they don’t find out about this.

I love you Kenzie with my whole heart and know that I’m choosing this path so that you can be safe.

In this box, you’ll find DVD’s of our family. Some of my favorite pictures of us, our wedding rings, and some cash is also included. It’s close to five thousand dollars. Hopefully that helps. There is a necklace your father gave me that I’m going to try and sneak into The Society along with a couple of other things. I can’t bear to be without a piece of your dad. He loved us so.

I have no idea what’s going to happen, but I feel like this is my only choice—for now. Helplessness is not a feeling I enjoy and I now realize how much I depended on your father. He was my true north.

I know that whoever you’ve become, I’m proud of you. I wish I could go on and tell you everything, but I’m running out of time. The decision was swift and has left me little time to prepare for this backup plan. It’s late and I have to get this to the bank early before the Keeper comes to pick us up tomorrow evening.

Know this—that I love you with my whole heart and everything I’ve done, though it may seem selfish, was for your well-being.

Love,

Mom

Picking up one picture, I looked at the back first to make sure who I was looking at.

Turning over, I sobbed as I saw my dad. I’d gotten my red hair color from my mom as he had light-brown hair and dark eyes. I ran my thumb over his face that adoringly looked at me while helping me stand on a plaid picnic blanket in some sort of frilly dress. This was the face I’d seen in my dreams from time to time. This was my dad. My dad. It was evident my dad loved me and in this moment I wondered why life had to be so cruel by taking both my parents from me.

The banker came to the door. “Is everything okay, Miss Brooks?”

Hastily, I wiped away a tear. “Yes, Yes. It is. I’ll be out in a second.”

I needed to get out of here.

MA

KING IT BACK to the apartment, I went to my room and sat on my bed, expelling a rush of air. It was after four, which meant I had little time before Brooklyn came home. Quickly, I grabbed out the envelope of money and retrieved four-hundred dollars for my rent. I’d have time later to count what I actually had and make a plan.

Having never had to worry about buying things, the money in the safety deposit box would lessen the heavy burden I’d been carrying since leaving The Society until I found a job.

There was only so much I was able to process with the overwhelming emotional disaster I felt like I was becoming. Keep it together a little longer, Kenzie. Just a little longer.

My eyes searched for a good hiding place in my sparse room. The sparseness was comforting in some ways as it reminded me of my place back home. Under the mattress would have to do until I could get an account. The bank had given me a brochure on checking accounts which seemed like a viable option. I needed time to research before I made any decisions.

After hiding the money, I looked back in the backpack. The pictures and discs had tears pricking the back of my eyes. I’d had a loving family. Gaining pieces of my dad helped in the wake of Mom’s passing.

My dad.

The sound of the door opening downstairs moved me into action without thinking. I pulled out the photos, sat my bag on the floor, and got underneath the pale green comforter. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone and needed some time alone.

My shoes were still on and hopefully Brooklyn couldn’t tell. Slowing my breathing down, I waited as I heard my name being called. The sound was distant but drawing closer.