Hawke (Cold Fury Hockey 5)

Hope you had fun last night. Take these and drink lots of water. Hope you're not too hungover. : )

I was indeed hungover, but the Excedrin she left me and two bottles of water set me straight. I even kicked some ass in the team practice that was held midmorning, then I took Oliver golfing in the afternoon. It seemed a given we'd all go out tonight to continue the celebration of Oliver and Avery's visit, and thus the reason we're at The Fox and Hound in North Hills pounding more beers. Well, Oliver and I are pounding beers. Vale and Avery are again sipping at some wine.

While Avery was just as much a party girl as Vale, she seems to have either calmed down or isn't drinking much in deference to Vale's current lightweight status. They're now sitting at the small round table that we had taken when we first arrived. We ate dinner with a few drinks, had dessert with another drink, and then decided to have more drinks on top of that. Well, Oliver sort of decided by proclaiming our waitress was too slow and pulling me from the table up to the bar to order some more beers. Turns out, Oliver is really in a drinking mood because he ordered shots too.

I wondered briefly if Vale would be bothered by this. While I'm not the party animal I was in my early twenties, I can drink with the best of them still, and Oliver visiting was the only reason I needed to jump full in to the celebration. And while Vale has made it clear on more than one occasion that she doesn't party anymore, she seems content to sit there and have "girl time" with Avery. At least the few times I was staring at her and she looked over to me, she gave me a cheerful yet knowing smile that seemed to indicate she was okay with me blowing it out with Oliver tonight.

This is good, because no matter how drunk I get, I won't ever forget it was a night of partying that led me to make the choice I did seven years ago not to leave with Vale when she wasn't feeling well. It was a bad choice that led to a series of events that broke us apart. I don't want to make that mistake again.

While I'm still not quite sure what exactly this is with Vale, I know enough to know I'm not ready to give it up. I know enough to know I care about her greatly and that I'm beyond happy that we've reconnected. I know enough to know that what we have is enough right now and I don't want to fuck it up.

"Another shot?" Oliver asks, his voice now slightly slurred.

"Sure," I say, risking another punch by glancing over at Vale. "I need to take a leak, though. Be right back."

I really don't need to piss, but it just so happens that if I head to the bathroom, I'll pass right by Vale sitting at our table. She looks to be in need of something.

I swear I hear Oliver mutter, "Pussy whipped," as I get up and walk toward Vale. She's leaning forward, elbows resting on the table and hands clasped as she listens thoughtfully to whatever Avery is yammering about. When I'm no more than a few feet away, her gaze catches the motion and swivels my way. Her lips curl up in a welcoming smile, and yeah...that right there. That's what she needs.

Leaning down, I give her a kiss. No tongue, but not a quick brush either. Her lips part slightly and she accepts what I give her with a soft sigh. Pulling back, I give her a charming smile and ask, "You need anything?"

Vale shakes her head, eyes staring at me with amusement. She then cuts a glance over to Avery. "You want another glass of wine?"

Avery declines so I lean back over Vale and press my lips to her head. I get another soft sigh from her before winking at Avery and heading to the bathroom, leaving behind I'm sure something snarky that Avery will say about me. Not worried though. Avery didn't like me seven years ago and never came between me and Vale, so I'm pretty confident she won't now. Except...well, maybe she could. I mean, Vale and I don't have the same closeness we did back then. The same level of trust and commitment.

Shaking my head, I put that out of my mind and head into the bathroom, where I decide to go ahead and piss, because "when in Rome." After washing and drying my hands, I give a quick swipe of my fingers through my long hair and swivel my head back and forth, eyeballing my beard. I wonder if I should shave it off? It's kind of a pain in the ass to keep trimmed, but Vale seems to like it despite the fact it leaves red marks on her thighs.

Chuckling over the thought and high on life and alcohol, I exit the bathroom, only to come up short with Avery standing there. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she pins a baleful stare at me.

"What's up?" I ask as my eyes cut over to our table. Vale is gone and Oliver is now sitting there. For a brief moment, my head spins as I consider that Vale has left the bar and a tiny flash of panic seizes me.

"Vale's in the bathroom," Avery says blandly.

Immediately, my heart rate settles and I chastise myself for even letting something like that bother me. "Well, okay then," I say as I start to move past Avery.

"I'm glad you two broke up," she says quietly, but it's loud enough I hear it over the din of chattering voices in the pub area.

I halt midstep, turn to look at her with astonishment. "Excuse me?"

"I'm glad Vale cut you loose before," she says simply.

My hackles immediately stand to attention. While I know Avery wasn't fond of me then, nor apparently now, I always thought she had Vale's best interest at heart. I feel like I was in Vale's best interest, despite a bad mistake I made. I thought Avery knew that too, but apparently I'm wrong.

"That's kind of a bitchy thing to say, Av," I say with anger tinged in my voice. "Especially since that's old history."

"Exactly," she says, inclining her head to the side as if to emphasize her point. "So don't fuck this up again. Now is your time."

I blink...once, twice...stupidly a third time. "Now is my time?"

"Yeah," she says with a minor eye roll as she unfurls her arms and steps into me. She pokes a bony finger into the middle of my chest. "You and Vale weren't right back then. It's easy in hindsight to see it. Too immature...impetuous. Too focused on each other to the detriment of all else. It wasn't your time then."

"But it is now?" I ask skeptically, because she almost seems to be...rooting for us?

"Yes, it is now."

We stare at each other a moment and I shake my head, not sure I really understand what she's trying to say. Clearly, my confusion reigns supreme across my face, because she elucidates.

"It's like this, Hawke. You had your career set. You were a great hockey player and you were going places. The only place Vale was going was for a ride in your hip pocket. She had no direction, motivation, or ambition. Look at what she's become now and tell me that would have happened if you two had stayed together."

My mind spins. Surely she would have gone to school, even if she followed me through the NHL, right?

"Vale's heart was broken when you two split, but she grew up. She grew up fast and she was focused. She became a new woman, and I'm thinking you like those changes, if the way you look at her is any indication. You may not see it, and she may never admit it, but the way in which your relationship failed was the best thing to ever happen to the two of you."

That simply can't be true. What we had was good and solid, right?

Or do the facts speak for themselves and whisper a truth I haven't considered before? That perhaps neither one of us had the maturity to appreciate the other. What we had wasn't really the one, great true love we thought it to be.

That's another thought I quickly push out of my head. I don't let it take up residence because if I lend any validity to this claim, it means I need to let her betrayal go completely. I need to chalk it up to the wisdom of the Fates and be happy with the ways in which we've grown.

And this is something I don't know that I can do.

While I love being around Vale, and I appreciate more than anything having her back in my life, there's still a small part of me that remains firmly protected, with the assumption that she'll bail on me again. Hell, she's talking about going back to Sydney with her dad. It's like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For her to abandon what we have again.

Chapter 24

r /> Vale

We're cruising down I-540, listening to Smashing Pumpkins. It's a cool November evening, the stars are hanging low with a bright, full moon, and endorphins composed of pleasure, happiness, and excitement race through me.

Balling my hands into tiny fists, I lean forward and hammer them on the dashboard, my voice squeaking with near-jubilant hysteria. "The tumor shrank!"

"The tumor shrank," Hawke confirms with a laugh and a fist punch to the air in victory.

My dad's MRI was this morning, and while normally it would take a few days to get the results, Dave Campbell does enjoy rock star status at Duke. Dr. Furhman sat in the control room with the two radiologists and three other oncologists who waited breathlessly while sections of my dad's brain were photographed. By the time the table was sliding out of the big, round drum that made up the amazing science of magnetic resonance imaging, Dr. Furhman was waiting there with a grin a mile wide.

Ten percent shrinkage.

Beyond miraculous.

The virus had done its job and now my dad's body was fighting--and apparently winning--against the glioblastoma.

I had taken the day off to go with my dad, and after we hugged and jumped around the room with his hospital gown flapping, I immediately texted Hawke. He was at the arena, getting in a light workout as the Cold Fury was playing an evening game against the Dallas Mustangs. He had made me promise to let him know as soon as I heard something.

We have shrinkage, I had quickly sent to him.

His response was immediate, indicating he had been hovering, just waiting for my message. Never a good word to use with a man except in these circumstances. YES!!!!