Marek (Cold Fury Hockey 11)

"Because we provided a letter of intent to the bank, showing them the proof of the gas and that we were in the process of leasing or selling. It's why the bank extended the note for us the first time. But after you left for North Carolina, Owen started hounding us again."

"And we would have sold to him too," my mom adds. "But he just wasn't offering enough. The gas company offered more than triple what he did."

And I feel officially broken. I put myself through hell dating Owen and then agreeing to marry him. I went through a painful and humiliating process of planning a sham wedding all for money, and I worried myself sick over my parents' debt.

This entire time...

For months they knew everything would be okay and I had no clue.

"Listen," I hear Marek say softly, but my gaze is pinned back on the carpet. "I think Gracen's had enough. How about I have her call you later, okay?"

My parents give farewells, but I've already disconnected mentally. I'm beyond ecstatic that my parents don't have any financial woes, but I'm so disappointed in myself that I just need some time to process. I push off Marek's bed and walk out of his room.

He doesn't follow me.

Chapter 19

Marek

The light coming out from under Gracen's bedroom door tells me she's probably still awake. I had come upstairs with no other agenda than to check on Lilly. My parents dropped her off after watching her all day and she's been asleep for a few hours, but I still love opening the door and looking in on her. Her face is so different when she's asleep. So utterly relaxed and peaceful. I could stare at it for hours.

I had not intended to disturb Gracen. She's been withdrawn all day following that run-in with Owen, and she's not exactly happy with me that I called her parents and forced a confrontation.

But I'm glad I did. Now I know the truth of what's going on, and more important, Gracen can let go of that unnecessary burden she's been carrying around.

Christ, I can't believe she'd ever let herself get into that situation with Owen. But I also understand it. Gracen's the type who would run into a burning building to save a kitten, so it's no surprise she'd sacrifice herself to save her parents' house.

It was stupid, but she feels foolish enough about it that she doesn't need me or anyone else reiterating it to her. After we put Lilly down, she escaped into her room and shut the door behind her without another word to me. I went back down to my room and got packed up for our first preseason game, which will be New York. I have to be out of here in the morning before the sun comes up, but that took about five minutes, and then I was twiddling my thumbs.

Thinking of Gracen and that shit she got herself embroiled in.

Mostly thinking of last night, though, and the fact that we had sex.

Four times before the sun came up.

If you count oral, and I most certainly do.

So fucking stupid, yet I don't have an ounce of regret. It was better than I ever remembered, and that's saying something, since Gracen was the best I've ever had. I know that has to do with the depth of feelings I had for her back when we were together, and I'm wondering what it means that it feels better now, when love isn't even involved anymore.

But something's involved. Maybe it's that she gave birth to my daughter, or maybe it's because I've matured.

Who knows?

My knuckles are rapping on her door softly before I can even talk myself out of it, and I don't wait for her to invite me in. I want to make sure she's okay.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I also want to gauge whether there's any of that chemical spark remaining between us, or if it was truly purged from our systems last night.

Correction, if it was purged from her system last night. I know without a doubt that I want her tonight, and the night after, and the night after that.

When I step in, I find her sitting on her bed cross-legged and bent over a magazine she has opened on the mattress before her. Her head raises and she looks at me warily.

"You need to let it go," I tell her as I step in and close the door behind me.

Gracen blinks in surprise that I'm calling her on the carpet, and her cheeks turn a cute shade of pink.

"I know you," I remind her as I come to sit on the edge of the bed. "I know how that brain of yours is working. But it's over and done. All is well. So let it go."

Her eyes flit back and forth between mine, perhaps trying to discern if there's some lie in what I just said. I just hold her gaze until she finally lets out a huge breath of frustration.

She falls back onto the pillows propped up against the headboard with misery coating her face. "I feel so stupid. So very fucking stupid. If I'd just talked to my parents rather than trying to handle it all on my own."

I chuckle and shrug. "Hindsight's twenty-twenty. But your heart was in the right place, Gracen. That's all that matters."

She stretches out and crosses one bare leg over another. I try to ignore it, but her shorts are, well, really short. I remember too well how those legs felt wrapped around me last night.

Lacing her fingers together and resting them on her belly, she says, "You're right. And thanks for saying that. I just talked to my parents again not long ago and they laid it on a little thick, giving me hell and all."

I smile and nod. While I know Sheryl and Tim were appalled over the lengths to which Gracen felt she had to go, I know they'd try to bring some humor into the situation. Tim especially. I bet he ribbed her mercilessly.

There's one other serious thing I want to talk about, and after we have that discussion, I'm going to kiss her and see what happens. My hand slides into my pocket and I finger the condom I slipped in a bit ago.

"Listen," I say as I turn slightly to face her on the bed. I place a palm on the mattress and lean toward her. "Last night..."

She tilts her head slightly, curiously waiting for whatever I want to say.

"We didn't use protection." My voice is gentle but blunt. We should have talked about this before, and that's my fault. I was too eager to have her. "I just wanted you to know...I don't go around having unprotected sex. You're safe. But I have to know, Gracie...with Owen. I mean, he was a whore in high school..."

"He still is," she says calmly with a disgusted shake of her head. My stomach drops no

t only for what that might mean for me, but for what it meant for her feelings. Did she feel betrayed? Did he break her heart?

"But you don't have to worry about it," she goes on to say. "Owen and I never had sex."

Relief and shock overwhelm me for a moment as I try to process what she just said. "Come again?"

"We never went there," she says with her chin raised a bit. "I kept putting him off. Telling him we'd wait for our wedding night, and well...he didn't care. He had his piece on the side."

"I'm sorry," I tell her, although I'm not. I'm fucking overjoyed she didn't have sex with him. I'm not a fool to think she was celibate the years we were apart, but fuck if I want the image of her and Owen together in my mind.

"Don't be," she says with a shrug. "And you've got absolutely nothing to worry about with me. I've always been safe."

Fuck, I want to kiss her.

My fingertip slides over the smooth foil wrapper. If she tells me she's on the pill, I'm tossing this fucker into the garbage. "Um...what about pregnancy? We already know my swimmers like your eggs."

I expect her to laugh at my attempt to lighten the mood, but the normal shine in her eyes goes flat as she frowns. Her gaze drops to her hands, which I notice tighten to the point her knuckles are white.

My stomach clenches.

"Gracen?" I ask, feeling completely uneasy over what she might tell me, and I'm thinking a potential pregnancy isn't the worst of it.

She sucks in a breath, and when she looks back to me, she has a forced smile. Her voice is overly bright. "You don't have to worry about that either."

That's an answer, but I can tell it's not the full answer based on her demeanor.

"You're on the pill?" I press her.

Her expression looks like a deer in the headlights. Her lips part, but she doesn't say a word.

I'm filled with dread and my voice is way too tight. "Why don't we have to worry about pregnancy?"

My stomach cramps viciously when Gracen's face goes hard and flat. She lifts her chin, but can't hide the tremble in her voice. "Because I can't have any more children."

"What?" I ask in disbelief, but my words come out so softly I barely hear them.

"I had a placental abruption about a week before Lilly's due date. They had to take her by emergency C-section. When they couldn't get the bleeding under control, they had to do a hysterectomy to save my life."