Vandal (Ashes & Embers 2)

She tilts her head and looks at me quizzically. “Oh! The good morning kiss?”

“Yes. That.”

“We had a fight last night.”

“No, we didn’t. You had a tantrum. Let’s not start it up again, all right?” Grabbing her hip, I pull her against my body and bend down to kiss her neck. “I can’t wait ’til tonight,” I whisper into her ear.

She shivers and holds onto my arms, resting her head against my chest. “Me too,” she whispers back. “Don’t forget me while you’re gone.”

“Not a chance.” I lift her head up to face at me. “No bad moods while I’m gone, okay? Today’s going to be a good day and tonight will be amazing. Trust me.”

Picking her up, I sit her on the kitchen counter and kiss her hungrily, thoughts of what tonight will bring fueling my desire for her even more. Her legs wrap around my waist and her hands entwine around my neck. Knowing she misses me when I’m gone is a good sign.

Reluctantly, I pull away. “I better go. Be good. Try to groom the cat if you can. There’s a brush in that drawer over there.”

She giggles at me. “Okay … I think I can do that.”

***

My thoughts are consumed with Tabi, Tabi and more Tabi while I ride over to Sydni’s. I wish I could have just stayed at the house with her and not wait until tonight to see her with her gifts, but I can’t blow Sydni off. Her timing completely sucks, though.

When I get to her apartment I let myself in, as I’ve done hundreds of times.

“I’ll be right out!” she screams from the bathroom. I help myself to a drink from the refrigerator and wait for her out on the back balcony.

“Sorry, hon. I slept way too late today and I’m still suffering from that awful jet lag.” She’s wearing her usual denim shorts and a tank top, and is rubbing her damp hair with a towel. Her eyes are red with puffy bags underneath.

“You look tired as fuck,” I tell her. “You need to slow down.”

She sits, and crosses her lean, tan legs. She lights up a cigarette, her long, fire-engine red hair hanging over her face and almost catching a spark. Last time I saw her, her hair was blue.

“Tell me how you’re doing. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, Van …”

I wave my hand at her. “Not your fault, Syd. You were touring in England—that takes precedence over everything else. I get that.” I shrug my shoulder and shake my hair out of my face. “I’m doing better. I haven’t had a drink in like, two or four days.”

“Well that’s a start, pal. One day at a time.”

“So they say.”

She yawns and stretches her fully tattooed arms out and above her head, her white tank top straining over her large breasts that normally I stare at, but today I look away.

“I ran into Talon and Ash at the studio yesterday and they told me you’re out for a while.” She takes a drag on her cigarette and watches me for a reaction.

I roll my eyes in disgust. “Yeah, I guess they had a vote and they don’t want me wrecking their sacred image with my drunken outbursts. I don’t know who the fuck they think can replace me with on such short notice. Even wasted I play better than most of the hacks out there.”

She smashes her cigarette into a marble ashtray on the table. “Me,” she states simply.

“You, what?”

“They asked me to play the tour with them.”

I almost fall over. Sydni can totally fucking rock. Her all-female rock band Sugar Kiss is one of the best out there. I’ve known her for years and they’ve opened for us more times than I can count. I gotta hand it to Asher: it’s a genius marketing move to stick a hot girl in the band for a few months.

Running my hand through my hair, I look over at her, speechless. “I really didn’t see this coming, Syd.”

“I know. Neither did I. Vandal, listen. This isn’t permanent. I only agreed to do it if it’s just for a few months for this tour, until you come back on board. I’m not going to leave Sugar to be a permanent member of A&E. I couldn’t really say no; the ties run deep here, you know that …”

I nod. “I know, I know.”

“I won’t do it if you’re not okay with it. That’s why I wanted to see you. I’m not going to risk our friendship for this; I respect you way too much, man. You taught me way too much. And just so you know, Ash kept saying that you were coming back.” She gives my hand a quick squeeze.

I swallow and flick my gaze away.

“I appreciate that. I do. I’d much rather it was you than some other asshole. You’ll do fucking great, and I like not having to worry about the replacement trying to oust me for good. I’m fucking back next year. I’ve got some new material I’ve been working on—it’s fuckin’ sweet.”

She lets out a sigh of relief and flashes me a big smile. “I can’t wait to hear it …” She pauses and stares out over the balcony for a few moments. “Vandal, don’t hate Ash so much. He’s got a lot on his plate and the band is his baby. It’s all he’s got right now.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I don’t want to think about Asher and his problems. I have my own and his could be much worse. “You gonna be okay jumping into another tour so soon? With new material?”

“Fuck yeah. I got this.”

I push myself away from the wooden railing. “I better get going, I have to ride back up to the lake.”

She stands and walks with me into the house, putting her hand on my back before we reach the front door.

“You could stay,” she hints, her voice sultry. “It’s been a while.”

Measuring my control, I sigh and turn to face her. “We shouldn’t, Syd. Let’s not complicate shit.” I pause and decide to tell her the truth. “Plus, I kinda got someone waiting at home for me.”

Surprise and disappointment dance across her face. “You? Really?”

“It’s still new. We’re trying to figure it out.”

“I think that’s great, Vandal. I really do. You deserve some happiness.”

“No, I really fucking don’t, Syd. I’m a douche.”

She looks me in the eye and shakes her head defiantly. “I’ve known you for a long time. You’re difficult, and you’re fucked up, but you deserve to be happy. Maybe I’ll get to meet her someday?”

Fear courses through me like acid in my veins. “I don’t know. I got a lot of shit to figure out.”

She leans against the doorframe and opens the door for me. “Be good, buddy. Stay in touch, and don’t worry. I’ll make you proud standing in for you.”

“I know you will.”

Tabitha

As soon as he’s gone I run the to the guest room like a little kid and open the door, my insides jittery with anticipation of what could be waiting for me. On the middle of the bed are two boxes, one medium and one big, each wrapped in purple matte paper with a big black bow, and a brown suede journal. I’m not sure what to go to first, but curiosity makes me pick up the journal. I sit on the bed and open it to find handwriting on the first page in calligraphy-style writing.

Tabitha,

This will be our book, and I hope to fill all the pages as our story grows. I’ll write in this book each morning to tell you what I want you to do for me that day, or maybe just tell you something I’m thinking about. I want you to do the same. Tell me how you feel and what you want and write it in here so I can read it the next day. Sometimes writing thoughts is easier than saying them. This is meant to be a safe communication tool for us, and hopefully, a memoir for us to read back on someday.

On the bed is your first present. I want you to take a shower, and wash your hair with the body soap and shampoo I bought for you. Then put on the items in the box. Take your time and let yourself enjoy everything. I know you will look beautiful.