Vandal (Ashes & Embers 2)

“Hey,” he answers.

“Lukas … she left. You have to drive me to her house. She took my car.”

“What?”

“That fucking whore told her, she knows I was in the accident. Tabi got upset and left me. She took my car and she won’t answer her phone. I’ve been calling her for an hour.”

He sighs on the other end. “Vandal, listen to me. You have to give her some time. You going over there and forcing her to talk to you more is only going to make things worse.”

“I have to fucking talk to her!”

“I know, but you have to let her calm down first. Trust me on this; I have more experience with this than you do. You gotta let her calm down. Women do not like to be rushed or cornered when they are pissed.”

“We were so fucking happy, Lukas. Now she hates me. She wouldn’t even look at me.” I press my fingers into my forehead, my mind spinning. I just want her back here now.

“Van, I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. She’s upset. Think about how hard this is for her to deal with. Just give her some time to process it all. Chasing her down will only make her run more.”

“Fuck!” I yell, frustrated. I hate him for being so calm and rationale.

“Vandal, calm down. There’s nothing you can do but just let her be for a little while. Trust me. Don’t make it worse. You’ll regret it.”

“I can’t deal with any of this. She took my car,” I repeat. “I’m going to need a ride over there at some point to get it.”

“That’s fine. Don’t worry. When she’s ready, we’ll go get it. I’ll drive you. Just watch a movie or listen to some music and go to bed for now. Okay?”

“Do you think she’ll come back? Or do you think I fucked up way too bad?”

He hesitates before answering me. “This was a pretty big fuck-up, but if she really loves you, which I think she does, she’ll come around. If you give her some time.”

“Fine,” I mutter drowsily.

“Call me tomorrow. In the meantime, stop calling her.”

I end the call with Lukas.

Shit. Fuck.

I send another text to Tabi:

Plz just let me know u r ok

A few seconds later, my phone beeps.

T: I’m home and I’m fine. Very upset though. Please stop calling.

V: Come back. Let me hold you. Let me fix this.

T: Please stop..

V: I can’t. I need you. You need me.

T: I’ll txt you 2moro and you can come get your car. Goodnight.

***

“Please don’t make a scene with her at her house, all right?” Lukas says as he drives me to Tabi’s house to get my car. I’m completely hung-over from all the Valiums and I feel as if a truck ran me over.

“What the fuck ever,” I say to him.

“Maybe you should put this off until you’re in a better mood.”

“No. I need my car and I want to see her.”

“You don’t need your car. You have another one at the other house we could go get.”

“She’s got my hot rod.”

He laughs, his jaw dropping. “Shit, you let her drive your favorite car?”

“I didn’t let her, she took it. I don’t care about the car anyway. I just want her back.”

We drive in silence except for me directing Lukas which streets to turn down.

I sit up in my seat. “It’s the blue house on the right.” I point to her house and he pulls in front and throws the car in park.

“I’m going to wait here, just in case,” he says. “If she wants you to leave her alone, just leave, okay? Don’t make things worse.”

I ignore him and walk up to the front steps. It looks as if she had a landscaper come while she was at my place to take care of the lawn, as it’s all mowed to a short height. I ring the doorbell and wait impatiently. A few seconds go by and she opens the door, leaving the screen door between us.

“Can I come in?” I ask her.

“No. This is the house I shared with my husband. You don’t belong in here.” S

he opens the screen door a few inches and passes my keychain through to me, pulling the screen door shut again.

“Really?” I say to her in disbelief. “This is what you’re going to do?”

“Vandal, please don’t make this harder. I’m exhausted, and I’m sure you are too. You look terrible.”

“We can’t even talk about this? It’s just over? Just like that?”

She looks at me tearfully, and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and hold her forever. “I don’t know,” she replies. “I need some time away from you to figure things out in my head. I can’t think when you’re around.” She’s still wearing the necklace. If she wanted it off she could have easily removed it with pliers or picked the tiny lock. I pray it means something that she hasn’t taken it off.

“I miss you,” I say. “So does Sterling.”

“Please don’t do that. I’m upset enough.”

“Just come back home with me, then. Don’t throw everything away. I’ll leave you alone; you can have the guest room. Just come back with me.” She bites her lip and looks up at me through the screen, and for a moment I think I’ve broken through her armor. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the accident. I just didn’t know how, and then with each day that went by I was afraid to lose you. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” I plead with my eyes for her to give me another chance to make this right.

She stares past me at Lukas waiting, and then flicks her eyes back to mine. “But you did hurt me. A lot. When I was already hurting.”

I put my hand flat on the screen, wishing I could touch her. “Tabi, I’ve never been in a relationship before. Ever. I’m not trying to make excuses, just telling the truth. I know I’m not good at this and I fucked up, but I never meant to hurt you. I can be better—just give me a chance. Didn’t I make you happy at all?” Emotion wells up in me. Fuck, I don’t want to break down in front of her.

She places her hand against mine, the screen between us. “You made me very happy, Vandal. More than you know.”

I swallow hard. “Then let me keep doing it.”

She pulls her hand away. “Please just give me some time. Can you give me that?”