When I pull away, her eyes open slowly and she blinks at me. “How do you do that?” she whispers breathlessly.
“Do what?” I turn her in my arms so she’s facing me.
“I don’t know . . . you make me feel like I’m in a dream. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
I push her hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear. “Think about how it will feel when I make love to you.”
She puts her hands on my chest and stares at the black crucifix hanging around my neck.
“I’m afraid to think about that.” Her voice is uncertain, her fingers shaking as she touches my necklace.
“Why?” I stroke her hair, not forcing her to look at me but wanting to comfort her because I can see she’s having one of her inner struggles again.
“I just . . . This is so hard.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Ivy, you can tell me anything. I hope you’ve figured out that I’m a communicator. Don’t shut me out—that drives me crazy. Whatever’s on your mind, just spit it out and we’ll deal with it.”
She takes a deep breath. “I’m just . . . worried. I’ve only been with one man, and you’re a lot more . . . experienced than he was. Or is. I can tell you are, just by the way you touch and kiss. And my body . . . I’ve had two kids . . .”
I don’t tell her that my first lover was a twenty two year old fitness model, and I was just sixteen when we hooked up. Erika was my best friend Finn’s older sister, and I spent a lot of time at their house. Yeah, it was wrong on more levels than I can count, but I learned a lot about what women want, how to make them crazy, how to go slow when the time is right, and how to pound the shit out of them when they want it hard. Erika brought me out of my shell, gave me some much-needed self-confidence, and treated my body like her personal playground. There was no love there, but we liked each other and had a lot of fun. I have zero regrets.
Putting my hands on the sides of her face, I gently lift her up so I can look into her eyes. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m already attracted to you like fucking crazy, and I’m not a shallow person. I’m interested in a lot more than looks, but just for the record, I think you’re beautiful and sexy and adorable. I’ve jerked off about a hundred times thinking about you.”
“Lukas!” The look of utter shock on her face is priceless.
“Hey, you need to know these things so you believe what I’m telling you.” I take her hand in mine and bring it between our bodies, pressing her palm against my rock hard cock. “Feel that? The cock doesn’t lie, baby. That’s all from you.”
Her eyes go wide like silver dollars. “Holy shit . . .” she says under her breath, pulling her hand away, all flustered.
“I want you to touch me, but only when you’re ready. I might push you a little, but that’s only because I want you. Anything that happens between us will be at your pace, okay?” She nods and swallows. “You say stop, I’ll stop. Always. And you should know, I’m a little bit sick with wanting someone that hasn’t had a ton of experience, but I also don’t want to date a kid or someone immature. So . . . You. Are. Perfect.”
She shakes her head at me and grins. “You’re too good to be real. There’s gotta be something wrong with you . . .”
“Trust me. There is a lot wrong with me, Ivy. I have a jealous streak. I’ve battled depression for most of my life. I lived in a dumpster for three months. I believe in things most people don’t. I’m an outcast. I don’t love much, but when I do, I love hard and fierce.”
She hangs on every word, her grip tightening around my arms.
“I want to know what fierce feels like,” she whispers, her eyes looking up at me innocently through her long dark lashes.
I pull her body closer to mine, holding her tight against me so she can feel me again. “I have a feeling you will, doll.”
She goes up on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “I want one more thing on my tattoo,” she says, moving out from under my arm and heading back for the chair.
Frowning, I follow her. “Okay, tell me.”
“I want a little x and an o, to remind me of you, because you give the best hugs and kisses.”
I wasn’t expecting her to say that. I was thinking she was going to want another butterfly, or maybe another little flower, but I never imagined she’d want something that was special for us. “Are you sure?” I ask her.
She nods enthusiastically. “Definitely. I’ll let you pick the where.”
“I’m really honored by this, ya know,” I grab my gun and find a nice place on her leg where I can add the two letters without detracting from the design. “There,” I announce when I’m finished. “Now, my hugs and kisses are on your body for the rest of your life,” I tease.
“That’s what I wanted.”
I get up and put my tools away, afraid if I don’t put some distance between us that I’m going to ravish her right here. “You better be careful what you wish for,” I say, glancing over my shoulder at her. “You just might get it.”
After sharing a sizzling kiss good-bye with Ivy in the parking lot again, my blood is racing through my veins. I know I won’t be able to sleep, so I take out my violin and play a few of the new songs I’ve been working on. The resonation of the strings calms me, always has. Even though I bought a brand new violin a few years ago with a little bit of my inheritance, I still play my first violin—the one I found in my great-grandparents’ attic when I was seven years old and taught myself to play. It’s ancient, and I have no idea who it originally belonged to, but it’s one of the best—a Strad. Two years ago, I shipped it to London to have a renowned violin maker repair it for me, who begged me to sell it to him and offered me an insane amount of money. I refused. This violin is too much a part of me to let go, no matter how much it’s worth. I don’t need money, but I do need the things that calm me and bring me peace.
And now, Ivy excites me but also brings me a new sense of peace I’ve never felt before, not even from my music or art. Fighting the urge to carry her up here to my apartment all night was exhausting but worth it. Tomorrow night, she’ll be here, and I can’t wait to see her in my personal space, surrounded by the things I love.
Later, after I put my violin back in its case, I send Ivy a text.
Me: Is it tomorrow yet?
By the time she replies eight minutes later, I’m already in my bed.
Ivy: Technically, yes, it’s after midnight yesterday, so it’s today, which is tomorrow.
Me: Holy fuck, that hurt my brain.
Ivy: LOL
Me: What are you doing?
Ivy: I’m in bed.
Me: Me too. Were you thinking about me?
Ivy: What do you think?
Me: I think yes. ;)
Ivy: Then I guess I was :)
Me: Don’t stop.
Ivy: How could I? You’re irresistible, remember?
Me: Did I tell you how beautiful you looked today?
Ivy: Yes, thank you. You make me feel all shivery.
Me: Good shivery or bad shivery?
Ivy: Definitely good :)
Me: Then get ready for more. I have a lot more shivers to give you. ;)~
IVY
LUKAS WANTED TO PICK ME UP and bring me to his place for dinner, but that felt silly to me, so I insisted on driving to his place. I think his chivalry is sweet, but I feel better having my own car in case I want to leave for whatever reason. Lindsay yelled at me when I told her earlier, telling me I was being difficult and that I should be grateful he has manners. She then ended the call reminding me to get on top of him.
I fall a little bit in love with him when I see what he’s wearing as he lets me in his door. He’s got on a black button-down shirt that’s unbuttoned to the middle of his chest, faded jeans, and black and white converse sneakers. He pulls off casual and sexy so effortlessly, and the sneakers tug at a little piece of the high school girl that still lives inside me.
“You look pretty,” he says, pulling me inside and shut
ting the door behind me. Taking my hand, he leads me to the living room. “Make yourself comfy. I’m just gonna go check dinner.”
“Okay.” Taking off my coat and laying it over the arm of the couch, I look around his house, which is beautiful and exotic, just as I imagined it would be.
The old stone church he lives in has been turned into a two story house, with the tattoo parlor taking up about half of the first floor, and the other half being this huge living room, kitchen, dining area, and bathroom. The tattoo parlor is completely separate, with its own entrance at the front of the house. A beautiful stairway leads upstairs to where I assume the bedrooms are. Part of the second floor is open with a wooden railing to a loft area, giving the house a very open feel.
“Do you need any help?” I call out toward the kitchen.
“No!” he hollers back