“You’re lying.”
“I am not.”
“You are, Macy, and you’re going to tell me why. But first, I’m going to tell you how I know you’re lying. I know because I believe Lukas. I’ve sat here for weeks, mulling this over and over in my mind and in my heart, because I trust both of you. I love both of you.” I try to fight back the tears, but I can’t hold them in. “You’re my little girl. Everything I’ve done since I got pregnant at eighteen has been for you, to give you a good life, and I never would have thought you could do something like this to me. To anyone, for that matter.”
She starts to shake and cry. “Mom . . . I’m sorry.”
I put my hand on her leg. “It is terrible to have to try to choose between two people you love and figure out which one would hurt you, to try to figure out which one would lie to you, and I hate to say this, honey, because it hurts me so much . . . but I don’t believe you. I believe Lukas, because I know how much our relationship means to him and how badly he wanted something real. He would never throw it away.”
My daughter blinks up at me, her face reddening. “But for some reason, you decided to set out to hurt me, to wreck my life and take away my happiness, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why.” I swallow, and she chews her lip, refusing to look at me. “At first, I thought you still had a crush on him. I know what that can feel like. But now, I know what the real reason is, and it’s sitting in our driveway. Isn’t it?
She tries to stand, but I grab her hand. “Isn’t it, Macy?”
Her voice is barely a whisper. “Yes,” she admits.
“Why would you do such a thing?”
She starts to cry, her shoulders shaking. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t want to!”
“Then why did you? Just tell me the truth.”
“Daddy said he’d buy me a car if I broke up you and Lukas. He said to make sure I made it look like he slept with me.”
That bastard. I’m so furious that my hands are shaking. I want to smash his face in.
“Mom, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know who I’m more disappointed in,” I say quietly. “You or him. What he asked you to do is disgusting, and I can’t believe you would go along with it. For a car.”
“Mom . . .”
I put my hand up, angry tears falling down my face. “What you did was disgusting. Lukas is a good man. He would do anything for you and Tommy.”
“I know. I love you guys together, Mom. Me and Tommy both do. He’s a better dad to us than Dad ever was.”
“Then how could you do that to him?” I practically scream. “And to me?”
“I don’t know!” she wails. “Daddy kept saying it was the best thing to do. He said Lukas isn’t who he pretends to be.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“No. I just really wanted the car, Mom. Mine was a piece of junk! All my friends have new cars.” The mindset of a teenager—they can justify anything, just because they want it.
“So you hurt two people that love you over a car? For God’s sake, Macy, Lukas probably would have lent you the money for one if he knew you needed a new car. He’s just that nice.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would be this bad.”
“Is it true that you touched him?” I silently pray this part isn’t true. “He said you put your hands on him.”
She squirms uneasily. “Yes, I grabbed him and I kissed him.”
Nausea bubbles up in my stomach. “I am so disgusted with you right now, Macy. I can’t even put it into words.”
“This isn’t all my fault, Mom! He wanted me. I could feel it.”
I jump up, my limit reached. “That’s it. You need to leave. Pack up some things and go to your father’s house.”
“Mom! You can’t kick me out!”
“Yes, I can. You can stay at your father’s until college starts. I can’t believe you would hurt me like this. I have no idea who you are.”
“Okay, it was my fault. I totally provoked him. Are you happy now? He pushed me away and kept saying he loves you. Okay? I told you everything. Can I just stay here, please? I don’t want to live with Dad and fucking Charlene!”
“No. Take your new car and go stay with him, and think about the horrible things you have done out of greed. I didn’t raise you to behave this way, and I can’t be around you right now. You’re right. You’re eighteen. You’re an adult. Go be one at your father’s house until I can forgive you for this.”
It tears my heart out to watch her cry as she runs to her room and returns a few minutes later with an overstuffed duffel bag, just like her father did not long ago.
She stops at the door and turns to me, her face red, her makeup smeared. “Can I please just stay here? Mom?”
I shake my head, holding my ground. “No. I love you, Macy, but what you did is horrible. I’m going to need some time to get over this.” I turn away from her and hear the door open and close, and seconds later her shiny new car is pulling out of the driveway.
I fall onto the couch and burst into tears, hating Paul for once again ripping away all that I love.
“I’m going out for lunch,” I tell my assistant, breezing past her desk. “I’ll be back in about an hour.”
She nods at me, so immersed in her work that she doesn’t look up from her computer screen, and I make a mental note to find out when she’s due for her next review.
I walk to the park a few blocks away from my office and sit on a bench under a huge willow tree, the crisp late summer air helping to clear my head. I haven’t been sleeping much at all, and I feel like it’s catching up to me, giving me brain fog and making me cranky. When I called Lukas the night I had it out with Macy, I wasn’t expecting him to tell me he needed some time to think before he could let me back into his life. Sleepless nights have plagued me since.
Stupidly, I thought that, once I apologized for doubting him, he would welcome me back with open arms, especially after he called and texted nonstop for the first few days after I found Macy at his house. He’s not like other people, though. He may be incredibly loving and have a huge heart, but I learned the hard way that he gives that part of himself to very few. And second chances are rare.
With Lukas, it’s all or nothing, and I didn’t give him my all. I thought I did, but when it came to proving it, I failed miserably. I should not have pushed him away and shut him out. So much for me being the supposed mature one of the relationship.
“Can I sit?”
I look up, but he’s already taken the liberty to sit on the bench next to me.
“Asher?” I glance around to see if anyone else is with him. Like Lukas. But he’s alone. “What are you doing here?”
He chews th
e toothpick hanging out of his mouth. “Meeting a friend. You?”
“I’m on my lunch break. My office isn’t too far from here.”
“It’s a nice day to get out.”
“Yeah. It is.”
He nods and studies me. “Did you know Lukas was born with a hole in his heart?”
My head snaps to face him, shocked by his sudden statement. “What?” My voice quivers, and I swallow the lump that instantly forms in my throat. “No . . . he never told me that.”
“I’m not surprised. He doesn’t like to talk about it. It’s why his mother gave him up. She was afraid he’d need too much care.”
I don’t bother to brush the tear that creeps down my cheek. My mind spins, and I’m suddenly stricken with fear that he’s sick, or dying.
Asher continues in his melodic voice. “I find it ironic that someone with such a huge heart has a hole in his own, and that the people that should love him keep falling through it.”
“I do love him,” I say defensively. “You don’t understand.”
He pulls the toothpick out of his mouth. “Oh, trust me. I do.”
“I want him back. I want to marry him. He’s all I want.”
Another man comes along and sits on the bench next to Asher. He’s tall and broad, wearing a black leather jacket, black motorcycle boots, and dark sunglasses. His head is shaved but covered in tattoos.
“Hey, man, how’s things?” Asher asks him.
His friend laughs. “I’m dying. How do you think I’m doing?”
“We’re all dying. Some of us just faster than others.”
I want to get up and leave, but I feel riveted to this bench.
“How’s your other half?” the friend asks.
Asher hands him a small bottle, of what, I don’t know. “She’s sleeping,” he replies.
“I wish I could fucking sleep,” the friend says.
“Me too,” I mutter.
Asher turns his attention back to me. “What do you think is worse? Not trusting the person you gave your heart to, or giving your heart to someone and them not trusting you?”
The friend sighs loudly. “Here we go . . .”
Asher kicks him in the shin. “Shut the fuck up.”