Asher (Ashes & Embers 6)

“I know…but why can’t I live here? I like my apartment. I feel safe and loved here. People can keep coming here to visit me. You can still take me out on dates like you talked about. I can leave for a few hours and then come back.”

His chest moves slightly with what I’m sure would be a sigh if he didn’t do such a good job of controlling himself.

“This is a hospital facility, though, not your home. All your doctors agree you’re ready to leave and continue your therapy as an outpatient. Your recovery has been incredible. Most people who’ve gone through anything remotely similar would be here twice as long—probably even forever. You still have a long way to go, but you don’t need to stay here.”

“Maybe I do.”

“Last week when we all talked about this with your doctors, you were looking forward to going home. You said you were ready, and you seemed excited about it.”

I did. But now, it all feels overwhelming.

“Em, I think you feel safe here. That’s totally natural and understandable. Once you get out of here, you’ll love it. Kenzi lives right across the street. I’ll be home almost all the time. The nurse we hired has committed to staying with us for as long as you need her. She’s more than just a nurse. She’s going to help you transition to living in your own house. I had all new equipment added to our home gym that your physical therapist recommended.” He pauses, but I don’t say anything. “I’m doing everything I can to make sure you’re happy, safe, and comfortable.”

There’s no denying this guy moves heaven and earth for me. I don’t want to seem ungrateful and difficult, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I just don’t know if I’m ready to fully step into the Wonderful World of Ember. What if I hate the house and everything in it? Asher showed me photos, and it looked beautiful, but maybe it’s really not. What if I feel uncomfortable there? I don’t know what it’s like to live with a man.

“I appreciate everything you’re doing for me. A lot. Maybe I could live with Katherine for a while first?”

“We talked about that, and it’s not a good idea. She’s running a busy bed and breakfast and doesn’t have a lot of free time. You’d have to live there with her and her guests—a bunch of strangers. There’s no space to put gym equipment in her inn. Plus, it’s two and a half hours away. It’s too far away from your doctors, and it’ll be a lot harder for me and Kenzi to come visit you.”

“Then maybe I could get an apartment near your house for a few months?”

His head jerks as if I’ve slapped him across the face.

“Absolutely not. You’re still too weak to be alone all day. The nurse won’t live with you alone in an apartment, there has to be someone else there to help and make decisions. You could fall and get hurt, or God Forbid, hit your head. You can’t even drive yet. What if you have another seizure?”

“That only happened once,” I protest. It’s not like I’m falling on my face every day. I had one short seizure when he was on tour.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, but it’s not safe for you to live in an apartment without a real guardian. Your doctors would never agree to it and would probably want me to get my own head examined if I agreed to it. You still have a ton of recovery to go through. You’re not ready to be making decisions on your own yet. I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but I have to do what’s best for you.”

I chew my bottom lip as he lists off all these reasons, and when he’s done, he steps closer to me. I stare at his big, black boots until he touches my chin and gently coaxes me to look at his face.

“Em…you need to come home.” His soft voice is full of emotion, his eyes equally so. “If we want any chance of putting our life back together, and you getting your memory back, then that’s the best place for you to be.”

I swallow hard and nod as his finger moves slowly across my chin in a gentle caress.

Suddenly, I feel like I can’t breathe.

“You’ll have your own room and lots of privacy. I don’t want you to feel like I’m holding you captive. The nurse is nice, and I think you’ll like her a lot. We’ll take everything slow. I promise.”

I shift my gaze from his eyes to my suitcases waiting by the door.

“I won’t force you to come home. If you’re not ready, we’ll call your doctors right now and arrange for you to stay here longer.”