Fables & Other Lies

Goosebumps spread over my arms. “What if I die trying, like Esteban?”

“You won’t.”

“What if I succeed and someone else dies?” I licked my lips. “You said it gives a life and takes one away.”

“That’s a price you have to be willing to pay to save your mother.”

I swallowed and looked away. When I looked at my grandmother again, she was turning a tea saucer slowly in her hand. I didn’t want to know what she saw in it, so I stood up straight and started walking out of the kitchen.

“I’m going to see my mother.” I walked to her room on the second floor, anticipation curling inside me with each step. I took a deep breath and opened her door, the low hum of the in-room air-conditioning unit greeting me. There was a young nurse dressed in pink scrubs who stood when she saw me.

“Ms. Guzman.” She smiled. “I’ll let you visit with her. I’ll be right back.” She walked out of the room.

My parents’ room had two sitting areas and two walk-in closets. I took my time walking past those before nearing my mother’s bed. I didn’t know what I expected to see, but what I found wasn’t it. She looked peaceful lying in the center of the king-size bed. Her dark golden skin a contrast against the white comforter. Her dark curly hair was pulled up into a high ponytail. I wondered how Wela was allowing that. My mother always wore her hair down, usually blow-dried straight, prim and proper to go with her makeup and designer dresses. My heart squeezed as I thought about her life before this and how it would be when she finally recovered. I pulled up one of the chairs to sit beside her hand and sighed, wondering if the heaviness I felt inside would ever lift.

Last time I’d seen her I was so angry that she didn’t defend me. So angry that she’d let my father ridicule me and even more angry when I finally had spoken to her and she acted like all of it was my fault. That night was such a blur, but I remembered that much about it. I remembered crying as I packed my bags, crying harder when I realized my father wasn’t joking, I had to leave his house, and I did, though a part of me hoped he’d call and apologize, asking me to come back. He never did. I could only assume he wasn’t sorry. My mother, on the other hand, did call. She never asked me to come home, but she hinted that I should visit. I wish I had, but hindsight was twenty-twenty. Mami stirred in bed. I leaned forward as her eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the room, to my face.

“Penelope?”

“Mami.” I reached for her hand, the grief of everything, the loss of my dad, of my relationship with him, with her, finally crashing down on me. I couldn’t stop the tears that came. “I’m sorry.”

“Penny,” she said.

“Yes, Mami. I’m here.” I squeezed her hand.

“You shouldn’t be here.” She shook her head. Her voice was already hoarse, but she repeated it again, this time a rough whisper, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I . . . had to come see you.” I swallowed, using my other hand to wipe away my tears. Wela said she hadn’t told my mom about my father’s death to not slow her down from recovery.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s okay now.”

“You need to leave the island.”

I sighed heavily. She really wasn’t lucid and it broke my heart.

“They’ll take you, Penny. Don’t let them take you,” she whispered, tears trickling down her face.

“I think she needs to rest, Miss Penny.” That was the nurse, back from her short break.

“Has she been like this?” I let go of my mother’s hand and stood as the nurse walked over and touched the IV bag, injecting a needle into one of the attachments.

“She’s in and out.”

“P . . . Penny,” Mami said, a whisper as her eyes closed. “Get out. Please get out.”

“Don’t mind her, Miss. She’s not herself right now,” the nurse said. “This is completely normal in a breakdown. She’s been through a lot.”

I nodded, but a painful sob settled in my chest. I hadn’t seen my mother in six years and the first time I do, she’s bedridden and tells me to leave. I tried to swallow past the blockage in my throat, but couldn’t. I hadn’t cried in so long, but this felt like too much. After idling for a moment, I left my mother’s room and went to mine. I grabbed my bag and packed the few things I’d unpacked.

“I’m going to stay with Dee,” I said to my grandmother.

“Why would you do that? This is your house.”

“Mami said I should leave.” I bit my lip, but it was futile. Tears pricked my eyes and ran down my cheeks. “The first time I see her in ages and she tells me to leave.”