Before (After 5)

Fuck, all of this makes my head spin. My buzz is fading, and my head is starting to fuck me up. I need to lighten this shit up really quickly. “You can sleep in that.” I smile at her. “I assume you won’t want to sleep in just your underwear. But of course, I’m perfectly fine with it if you do.”

“I’m fine sleeping in this,” she says in the most unconvincing tone I’ve ever heard. She doesn’t want to sleep in her bulky skirt and baggy shirt. I quite like her shirt; the light blue color goes well with her eyes. I’ve never had a thought like that before . . . It goes well with her eyes? What does that even mean?

She’s messing me up more than the scotch tonight.

“Fine. Suit yourself; if you want to be uncomfortable, go ahead.” I step closer to the bed and grab the first pillow I touch and throw it onto the floor.

Tessa looks offended by this. Or maybe she’s offended that I’m half naked. I don’t know. She walks to the foot of the bed and opens the ugly chest. “Oh, don’t throw those on the floor. They go in here,” she tells me, as if I didn’t know that. Does she think I’ve never seen these types of pillows before? Does she think because I had a single mum that I don’t know how to put overpriced bundles of cotton into a box?

No, Hardin, she’s only trying to help . . . I try to talk myself down. My mind always goes straight for the worst possible interpretation, and I fucking hate it. My insecurities are eating me alive. I grab another, even frillier pillow and throw it onto the carpet. She groans, complaining while she bends down to pick it up.

While Tessa plays Molly Maid, I pull back the duvet and climb into the bed. It’s never been slept in before, I can tell. It feels like lying on clouds. It’s even better than a hotel. I watch Tessa watch me as I cross my arms behind my head. She’s always watching me. I’m always watching her.

I cross my ankles as she shoves the last pillow into the chest and closes the top. Neat freak, she is.

Is she going to stand there all night? I would rather that she peel off her baggy clothes and climb into bed with me. “You’re not going to whine about sleeping in the bed with me, are you?”

“No, the bed is big enough for both of us.” Her smile shows no nerves, but her shaking hands picking at her nails do. She’s being playful now. I love it.

“Now, that’s the Tessa I love,” I joke. Her eyes widen slightly, and I push the reason why away from my mind. Not today—not going anywhere near that thought today.

Awkwardly, Tessa climbs onto the bed after slipping off her shoes. She stays fully dressed, and she remains at the edge of the king-size bed, as far away from me as possible. She lies down, and I consider scooting closer to her, but I’m afraid she’ll get spooked and fall off the bed. As I’m picturing her falling to the floor, I laugh, and she turns around to face me.

“What’s so funny?” She’s doing that thing with her eyebrows again. She’s so fucking cute.

“Nothing,” I lie. I don’t think telling her that I was picturing her take a tumble will help my case tonight. Still, I can’t help but laugh as she pouts.

“Tell me!” She looks up for a second and then deliberately pops out her bottom lip. Despite her fake pouting, or maybe because of it, her lips are so fuckable. I can’t wait to feel them take a slow drag down the shaft of my cock. Thinking about her head bobbing up and down on me has me pulling my lip ring between my teeth. The metal is cold on my warm tongue.

I roll onto my side and face her while I ask, “You’ve never slept in a bed with a guy before, have you?” For that matter, I haven’t slept in a bed with a girl before either. It wasn’t my thing. I don’t know if it is now, but so far so good.

I’m relieved when she answers, “No.” I smile to show her how I feel about being the first guy she’s slept in a bed with. I love that she has so much left of her to be claimed. In some ways, I have so much left of me to give her, too.

Tessa is facing me, lying only a few feet away from me. She’s still dressed in her heavy clothing, and it’s driving me insane. She lifts her hand between us and touches the dimple on my right cheek. It’s such a simple, yet tender thing to do. No one, not even my mum, has touched me on the face in at least ten years. Even during sex, sometimes I kiss girls, but I don’t let their fingers linger on my body.

I make eye contact with her and register her panic. She pulls away, but I grab her hand and put it back to my cheek. It feels good, having her touch me. Her touch is so gentle. I want her to touch me everywhere. “I don’t know why no one has fucked you yet; all that planning you do must help you put up a really good resistance,” I tease her. There has to be a reason she’s so inexperienced. It’s just not realistic that she would have absolutely no experience without a good reason for it.

“I’ve never really had to resist anyone,” she says. I don’t believe her words, but I believe her eyes. Still, it’s just so hard to have faith.

“That’s either a lie or you went to an all-blind high school.” I look at her pretty mouth. “Your lips alone are enough to make me hard.” It’s true. She could easily reach down and feel the proof of my words. I almost tell her that, but I don’t want to ruin the moment.

Tessa satisfies me by gasping at my filthy words. I laugh and think of all the ways I can drive her fucking wild. She’s like driving a brand-new car, the excitement you feel when hearing the engine’s low purr for the first time. I want to make her purr—I would make her scream if Landon wasn’t here. I want to take this slow tonight, but I want to show her more than what I did at the stream. That was only one of my many tricks.

I lick my lips and take Tessa’s hand in mine, bringing both of our hands to my mouth. She inhales a sharp breath, and I pull her hand along my wet lips. Her hands are shaking when I single out her index finger and gently bite down on the pad. She moans on instinct, and my cock twitches in my boxers. Tessa’s hands are warm as I guide them down my neck. It feels so good to be touched, the level of high that I feel clouding my senses. The liquor has mostly worn off, and now I’m completely trashed off of a stubborn, sexy blonde. Tessa pulls her hand away, and I drop my own hand onto my lap. Her fingertips trace the ivy inked along the bottom of my neck. I can’t concentrate on anything except for the cool, calm trail she’s leaving behind on my skin.