Stronger than Yearning
Numbly, Jenna shook her head, and then taking a deep breath quickly explained the truth.
For a moment the headmistress was silent. ‘No…I quite see that that is impossible,’ she said at last. Then added, ‘My dear, I am so sorry…I had no idea.’
‘Bill and Nancy…the couple who took Lucy and me in when Rachel died, both want me to tell Lucy the truth—I wish now that I had done so years ago when she was young enough to accept it, but she’s so resentful and bitter towards me now that I feel if I did tell her it would alienate her completely.’
‘Yes. I can quite see your point.’ Norma Goodman paused and then said delicately, ‘I suppose there’s no chance of you yourself getting married ..?’
‘To provide Lucy with a substitute father? You aren’t the first person to suggest it,’ Jenna admitted wryly, ‘but…’ She shrugged, unable to bring herself to explain to the older woman her own aversion to the male sex.
‘Well, we’ll keep Lucy here for another term and see what develops,’ Norma Goodman suggested, ‘but if she still can’t settle down, I’m going to have to suggest that she leaves. Not as a form of punishment,’ she hastened to add, ‘nothing like that, but simply because I don’t believe in keeping a pupil at a school where she is plainly so unhappy.’
* * *
Lucy was on Jenna’s mind during the long drive back to London. Norma Goodman had done no more than voice her own fears for Lucy’s future, but what was the answer? Once she was based in Yorkshire, Lucy could attend a day school there: since Jenna would be working from home she would be on hand much more to supervise Lucy and to spend time with her, but Lucy herself had said that she did not want to move to Yorkshire.
Jenna felt that until she could come up with some rational reason for keeping the identity of Lucy’s father from her, Lucy would not respond to her. Sometimes she felt as though the girl hated her and it hurt Jenna bitterly when she thought of her own relationship with Rachel. It was almost as though she had let her sister down, as though Lucy would have been happier had she been adopted at birth and brought up in the security of the family environment she craved. It was a problem to which there seemed to be no realistic solution.
* * *
Despite her late night on the Sunday, Jenna was at her desk by eight on Monday morning. When Maggie arrived, she found that Jenna had already been through the post and was frowning over two letters.
‘Problems?’ Maggie enquired with concern, noting her frown.
‘A complaint from Lady Farnham—she isn’t happy with the silk wall hangings in her drawing-room. Apparently they’ve started to fade rather badly. Richard was in charge of that contract, wasn’t he? I’ll have to talk to him about it.’
‘And?’ Maggie prompted, glancing at the other letter Jenna was reading.
‘Oh, that one’s good—confirmation from Bierley’s that they’ll be able to supply the Holmeses’ carpet on time.
‘Maggie, I’d love a cup of coffee, and if Richard’s arrived, I’d like to see him.’
‘You wanted me?’ Richard grinned cheerfully at her as he walked into her office.
‘Umm…’ Jenna motioned to him to sit down and then showed him the letter.
‘Damn,’ he swore quietly. ‘What do you suggest we do?’
‘The silk shouldn’t have faded,’ Jenna told him. ‘Dewharts who supply it use the very best quality fabrics and dyes and we’ve never had any trouble with them before. I’ll pass on the complaint to them, I think, and see what they have to say.’
‘Ah!’ Richard sat back in his chair and grimaced boyishly. ‘I’m afraid for that contract we didn’t use Dewharts.’
Jenna frowned. ‘But we always use them. You know how tricky silk wall hangings can be, especially red, and Lady Farnham did specify red for her dining-room as I remember it.’
‘Yes, well, it was about the time when you were talking about making economies. I found this f
irm who could supply the silk at almost half the cost of Dewharts, and so I took a chance and bought from them.’
Jenna felt her heart sink. She made it a rule never to use products that she could not completely rely on and she thought that Richard had understood this.
She looked at him blankly for a few seconds, struggling to contain her rising temper. Far from looking apologetic he was watching her with a bland self-confidence that suddenly she found immensely irritating.
‘You did specify economies,’ he reminded her quietly.
‘And this firm you bought from…’
‘Well…’ Now he did look apologetically sheepish. ‘I’m afraid they’ve gone bust…It seemed they were selling too cheaply and…’
‘And we have no chance of recouping anything from them.’ Jenna finished for him with a calm she was far from feeling. ‘You do realise what this means, don’t you, Richard? We shall have to redo the walls completely—at our own expense and using the right fabric.’