Wanting His Child

After he had finished speaking Verity looked searchingly into his eyes. There was no doubting the veracity of what he had just told her. Her stomach felt as though it had just done a fast cycle in a washing machine, her heart was banging so hard against her ribs she thought it was going to break them, and as for her legs…

‘I…I need to sit down,’ she told Silas weakly.

‘And I need to lie down,’ he countered gruffly, ‘preferably in bed with you in my arms with nothing between us, with nothing to separate us. Oh, Verity,’ he groaned as he suddenly reached for her, wrapping her in his arms as he kissed her eyes, her face, her mouth. ‘Oh, Verity, Verity,’ he whispered rawly to her. ‘You are the only woman I’ve ever loved, the only woman I ever will love…’

‘No, that can’t be true,’ Verity whispered back through kiss-swollen lips. ‘It can’t be…Not after the way you left me the other night…not after I’d begged you to stay…’

Tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

‘Oh, no, my darling, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.’ Silas groaned, holding her tight and rocking her in his arms, his cheek pressed against her head. ‘It wasn’t like that, it really wasn’t. I left you because…because I was afraid, not just for myself or for the pain I knew I would feel if I let you back into my life, but for the pain I thought you might cause Honor.’

‘I would never hurt Honor,’ Verity protested fiercely.

‘No,’ Silas agreed softly. ‘Forgive me for that.’

‘She reminds me so much of the way I was…’ Verity told him shakily. ‘Oh, I know how much you love her, Silas…and you couldn’t be more different from my uncle—’

‘But I’m not enough,’ Silas interrupted her ruefully, adding before she could protest, ‘I know, so my darling daughter has already informed me.’

‘Did you really think that of me…that I might hurt you both…?’

‘You’d already hurt me very badly once,’ Silas reminded her softly. ‘Or, at least, so I thought.’

‘I felt the same way about you,’ Verity admitted. ‘It hurt so much knowing that when you’d told me you loved me, when you said that you’d love me for ever, you didn’t mean it…’

‘I did mean it,’ Silas corrected her. ‘I still mean it, Verity. Is it too late for us to start again?’ he asked her seriously.

Verity looked at him, her heart in her eyes.

‘I…Oh, Silas…’ she whispered.

‘Let’s go inside,’ he whispered back. ‘There’s a phone call I want to make…’

Even to make his telephone call to Jane Alders, Silas refused to let Verity move out of his arms.

‘You stay right where you are,’ he mock growled at her when she did try to move away.

‘Jane, it’s Silas,’ he announced when Catherine’s mother answered his call, tucking the receiver in the crook of his neck whilst he bent his head to feather a soft kiss against Verity’s mouth. ‘Would it be asking too much for you to keep Honor there with you tonight? I wouldn’t ask but…You don’t mind…? No, it’s okay, I don’t need to speak with her,’ he continued, ‘but if you could just give her a message from me, if you wouldn’t mind. Could you tell her that I think she might be going to get what she wanted? What she wanted more than a puppy,’ he stressed, smiling.

‘What was all that about?’ Verity asked him when he had replaced the receiver.

Smiling at her, Silas said, ‘Honor has been begging and pleading with me to let her have a puppy. The other day when I ill-advisedly offered her one as a peace-offering, she informed me that she didn’t want a puppy, she wanted you.’

Verity looked at him.

‘Oh, Silas,’ she protested, torn between laughter and tears.

‘I want to take you to bed,’ Silas told her huskily, cupping her face in both his hands. ‘I want to make love to you, Verity…I want to make love with you. I want to re-affirm all those vows and promises we made to each other years ago, but if you think it is too soon, if you want to wait…if you feel…’

Putting her fingertips against his lips to silence him, Verity told him softly, ‘What I feel right now is that I want you. I want you in all the ways that a woman wants a man she loves, Silas. You can’t imagine how empty my life has been without you, how—’

‘Can’t I?’ he checked her gruffly. ‘There hasn’t been a day in the years we’ve been apart when I haven’t thought about you. Even on the day of Sarah’s funeral…As I stood at her graveside all I could think was how much I needed and wanted you.’

‘Poor girl,’ Verity whispered compassionately.

‘Yes, poor girl,’ Silas agreed.

‘Take me to bed,’ Verity begged him urgently. ‘Take me to bed, Silas, and…’