Dancing in the Dark

“Good?”

Wendy chewed, swallowed and dabbed at her lips with her napkin. “No,” she said, straight-faced. “I’m just making a pig of myself to keep you happy.”

Gina grinned and thought how wonderful it was to have her little girl home again. It was the same thing she’d been thinking for the last two days.

“Seriously, Mom, these are incredible.”

“Well, we had a great blueberry crop last summer,” Gina said modestly. “Your father couldn’t keep away from the pick-your-own place just north of town.”

“Is it still there?”

“Mmm-hmm. And Daddy bought boxes and boxes of berries. I made blueberry pie, blueberry tarts, blueberry vinegar, blueberry liqueur—”

“Whoa. Blueberry liqueur? That’s a new one.”

Gina smiled as she rose and went to the counter. “Your father gave me a course in herbal cooking as a birthday gift last year.” She spooned some fresh herbs into an infuser and filled her mug with water from the kettle. “More coffee for you?”

“Yes, please.”

She topped up Wendy’s cup. “I have some pancakes left. Would you like a couple more?”

Wendy groaned and held up her hands. “I couldn’t eat another bite.”

“Just one, maybe?”

“Honestly, I’m full.” Wendy pushed back her chair. “I’d almost forgotten what an American breakfast was like. That was absolutely delicious.”

“I’m glad. Oh, don’t get up, sweetie. Let me get those dishes. You just sit there and take it easy.”

Wendy shook her head, collected her dishes and took them to the sink. “That’s all I’ve been doing since I got back.”

“It’s all I want you to do.”

“I’m not an invalid, Mother.”

“Well, of course you aren’t. I just enjoy fussing over you.” Gina made a face. “And now I’m in trouble.”

“Huh?”

“You just called me ‘Mother.’” She took two cake plates from the cupboard and put them on the table. “That’s always a danger sign.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mom.”

“See? Now I’m ‘Mom.’” Gina smiled as she took out forks and arranged them on fresh napkins alongside the plates. “‘Mom’ is good. ‘Mother’ is a warning,” she said, opening the oven. The scents of cinnamon and nutmeg drifted out. “You ready for some coffee cake?”

Wendy stared at her mother. “No. Yes. Is it that sour cream cake you used to make?”

“Uh-huh.”

“In that case, maybe a sliver...and what in heck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you and the Mom-Mother thing.” Gina took the cake from the oven and put it on the table, then closed the door with her hip. “‘Why must I wear my galoshes, Mother?’” she said in a little-girl voice. “‘Why must I do my homework now, Mother?’” She laughed at the perplexed expression on Wendy’s face. “Ever since you were tiny, I was ‘Mom’ when you were happy with me and ‘Mother’ when you weren’t.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I didn’t know I was that transparent.” Wendy hesitated, watching as Gina sliced the cake. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap just now.”

“I know you didn’t, sweetie.” Gina looked at her daughter. “And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You just need to remember that I haven’t had the chance to fuss over you in a very long time.”

“I know. And I really love having you fuss. I just...I guess I confused it with you thinking I wasn’t up to doing things for myself, and I’m not very good at letting people help me.”

“Not good? Dear, you bristle like a porcupine, but I’m not surprised. You always were so fiercely independent. It’s what got you into trouble your very first day in kindergarten.”

Wendy smiled. “Seriously?”

“Oh, yes. I’ll never forget it. Your teacher cornered me when I came to pick you up.” Gina’s expression softened at the memory. “I’d just gone back to teaching. I was doing half days, paired with a new teacher. She took mornings so I could be home with you in the afternoons.”

“Uh-huh. I remember.”

“Anyway, I came to get you. And your teacher—”

“Mrs. Barrett.”

“Right. Sally Barrett said she hated having to tell me, but you’d walloped some little boy.”

“I didn’t!” Wendy laughed. “I don’t remember that at all.”

“Well, it’s true. Seems he’d been crying. Lots of the kids were. First day away from home and all that... Anyway, this poor little guy wanted his mother. You were sitting next to him and you were crying, too.”

“I definitely don’t remember that! I loved kindergarten.”

“Yes, you did. But that very first day, you were teary-eyed, the same as the other children. Sally said the little boy looked at you—for comfort, maybe—and you said, ‘What are you looking at?’ or words to that effect, and he said he was looking at you because you were crying, and you said—”

“Oh, wow.” Wendy giggled and covered her face with her hands. “It’s coming back to me. I said he was a baby and he said if he was a baby, so was I, and—”

“And,” Gina said, putting slices of cake on their plates, “you hauled off and hit him.” She grinned. “Then he really had something to cry about, poor kid. Anyway, Sally Barrett read you the riot act. So did I. And when your father came home and I told him what had happened...”

“He said I’d done a bad thing.” Wendy’s lips twitched. “Then he picked me up, lifted me high in the air and said I was some piece of work.”

“He was right. You were.” Gina smiled. “You still are. Soft as velvet most of the time, but tough as nails when you have to be.” Her smile tilted. “Which brings us to this operation.”

Here we go, Wendy thought. She’d broken the news to her mother her first evening home. Gina had blanched, but she hadn’t said much.

“Mom took it well,” she’d whispered to her father when she kissed him good-night, but Howard had shaken his head and reminded her that that was her mother’s way. When Gina learned something that upset her, she’d keep it to herself, turn it over and over in her mind, then talk about it when she was ready.

From the look in her eyes, she was ready right now.

Wendy caught hold of her hand. “Mom, I know the news that I want to have this surgery came as a surprise—”

“Surprise? Shock is a better word. Why did you tell your father and not me?”

“Because I knew you’d be upset,” Wendy said gently. “And I was right.”

“Of course I’m upset! I thought all those things—the hospital stays, the surgeries—were behind us.”

“Yeah. Well, so did I. But this new technique—”

“Is unproven.”

“It’s not unproven, Mom. Dr. Pommier’s performed this procedure on a lot of people.”

“If he’s the only one doing it, it’s unproven and experimental.”

“Any new technique is experimental. The bottom line is that what he does works.”

Gina stood up, dumped the pancake griddle into the sink and ran the hot water. “It works for certain people, Wendy, and for only certain types of injuries. You and your father admit that.”

“That’s right. And as far as I can tell, I’m a perfect candidate.” Wendy stood up and reached for a dish towel. “Look, I know you’re worried, but—”

“You had the very best surgeons in Norway, and the best doctors at the French rehab clinic.” Gina shut off the water, wiped her hands on her apron and turned around. “If any of them had thought there was more they could do, they’d have done it.”

“Exactly. They did everything they could, but things have changed. This technique did

n’t exist back then.”

“And what about the fact that this doctor says he’s not taking on new patients? That you phoned him, sent him a letter, and he won’t even discuss your case?”

Wendy tossed the towel on the back of a chair. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you that!”

“You’re probably right. You kept everything else from me, letting me think you were coming home—really coming home—when all the time—”