The Italian's Wife

responsibility, but she was part of my life for a long time and I felt

that I had to help her,' Rio stated harshly.

'So what did you do with her?'

'I took her to the foundation hospital and contacted her family. Two

days after that Christabel signed herself into a rehabilitation clinic.

She's still there.'

Recalling all the nasty thoughts she had had about the other woman,

Holly felt sincerely ashamed. Christabel had genuine problems that she

needed help to cope with and Rio had done the right thing in giving her

his support.

'Did she go off the rails because you ditched her?' Holly mumbled uneasily.

'No. Her sister, Gwen, was able to tell me that her drug and alcohol

abuse had begun well before she met me.' His darkly handsome features

serious, Rio released his breath slowly. 'I did think she drank too much

sometimes but I'm afraid I didn't recognise it as a problem and she

didn't confide in me. However, her sister was very frank...'

'Did she blame you for Christabel's problems?'

'No, far from it. Apparently, Christabel was confused about her sexual

orientation when she was a teenager. More recently, she was terrified

that she was losing her looks and

struggling to keep an increasingly heavy drug habit hidden,' Rio revealed.

'So where did you fit into her life?'

'According to Gwen, Christabel saw me as a financial security blanket

for her future.' Rio grimaced at that tag. 'My defection faced her with

realities she had refused to deal with and now she's having to deal with

them. Her sister's a psychologist and she says that's much more

healthy.'

'I heard that she had recently lost out on some big modelling contract

as well,' Holly remarked uncomfortably.

'Gwen mentioned that too. Said there'd been rumours about Christabel's

lifestyle. Naturally. People talk.'

Holly stood there several feet from him, struggling to

face her own reality, but it was a daunting one. She had

fudged Rio without even giving him the chance to defend

himself and she was ashamed that she had had so little faith

in him.

'I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I just walked out the way I did,' Holly

muttered shakily. 'I was really jealous of Christabel and what I thought

you must've had with her. I felt like second-best, and then when I met

her down at the Priory-'

'I wish you'd told me about that encounter-'

'She said she wanted you back and that I'd come between you, and that

really upset me-'

'Of course it did because you don't think enough of yourself,' Rio

breathed not quite steadily, reaching out for her hands and drawing her

closer. 'And that's my fault-'

'No, it's not,' Holly sighed, her hands quivering in his. 'If I'd

mentioned Christabel's threats then maybe you would've understood why I

was so sensitive about her-'

'There was never any chance of a reconciliation. But if I'd been more

honest with you you'd have found that easier

176

to accept.' Brilliant dark eyes scanning her troubled face his hands

tightened their grip on hers. "The truth is,, I didn't know what hit me

when I met you. I couldn't think of anything else but you and I told

myself I was unsettled after what had happened with Christabel-'

'Naturally you were...I mean, that's OK,' Holly hastened to reassure him

because she was so grateful he was holding her hands and still talking

to her after the manner in which she had left their home.

'No, it wasn't OK, cara. I wasn't giving you what you deserved. I don't

know when or how I fell in love with you but I was in deep very fast.

You must've noticed that I couldn't let you out of my sight...did you

think that was normal?'

'Normal? I felt the same way.' And all the time her mind was reaching

back to what he had said just before that. 'I fell in love with you'.

Had he really said that or had she imagined that he had said that?

'There was the most explosive attraction between us right from the start

and the lust I could handle,' Rio asserted wryly. 'But I couldn't

acknowledge that I was seriously involved because that would've meant

admitting that I was this pretty stupid and potentially shallow guy who

almost married a woman he didn't really love-'

'You didn't really love Christabel?'

'I believed I loved her but we were never close, not the way you and I

are, but I didn't know what that closeness was until I found it with

you, cara.'' Rio confessed, dark golden eyes troubled. 'I got over

Christabel too quickly. And it might seem strange to you but I was

ashamed of that...and it made me very wary about what I was feeling for

you.'

'Yeah...you told me you liked me-'

'But the cool-guy act went out the window when you

disappeared,' Rio broke in feelingly. 'I was tearing my hair out. I was

desperate. I couldn't work. I couldn't sleep. I was haunting homeless

shelters...you just have no idea what I went through the first two weeks

you were missing!' But, gazing up into the over-bright shimmer of those

speaking dark eyes resting with such loving intensity on her face, she

did have an idea and she ached for him even as the first stirrings of

joy began to wing through her.

'Dio mio...I went to hell and back. I was worried sick. I thought I

might never find you or Timothy again-'

'Eventually I would've gone to see a solicitor, but doing that and

talking about a divorce...it would have been so final and I couldn't

face it yet,' Holly confided chokily, her voice breaking up on her as

she realised how near she had come to losing everything she cared about.

Rio wrapped his arms tightly round her and held her so close that she

could hardly breathe, but at that instant it was what she needed more

than anything else. 'I'd have fought a divorce. There's nothing I

wouldn't have done to get you and Timothy back,' he swore above her

head. 'I'd have begged you to come home. Don't you realise how happy

I've been with you? Couldn't you feel that...see it?' And she had felt

it, seen it so often, she recognised with a shamed stirring of regret.

He had been so caring, so tender and romantic, but without the words of

love she had been afraid to simply trust in his behaviour. 'You said you

liked me...and that bit about getting fond of me,' she reminded him. It

was so unemotional and it was like you saying that you could never, ever

fall in love with someone like me.' Rio winced and looked down at her

with more than a hint of embarrassment. 'I just didn't know what else to

say to you. It wasn't meant the way you took it. I was very wary of that

word "love" that soon after breaking up with Christabel--'

178

'And you deliberately misled me about that-'

'Yes, because I sensed you'd say no otherwise. Didn't you start

wondering what planet I was from when I asked you to marry me only a few

days after I had met you?' Rio muttered with rueful self-mockery. 'I

jumped on the first excuse I got to hang on to you and Timothy. Where is

he, by the way?

'

'In bed...you can see him if you want.' Holly looked up at him, her

heart in her eyes, for she was so happy with what he was telling her

about his feelings. He wasn't trying to hide anything now. He was

admitting that he had been confused and acting out of character but

letting her know that his most driving motivation had been to keep her

in his life. 'I love you so much.'

'I love you too, tesoro mio.'

Holly took him upstairs to see Timothy, who was still awake. His lashes

lifted on sleepy eyes and he stared at them. Then her son sat up and

with sudden startling energy tried to claw his way up the side of the

cot into standing position. What was more, what he had often tried but

never yet succeeded at, actually worked on this occasion.