Sugar

“Yeah.” He pressed his lips to my hair. “And the sex is incredible, but you already knew that.”

Yes, our sex was incredible, but he didn’t say we would end each night fucking each other’s brains out. He said every night we would make love. I didn’t know the difference, so it was a little hard to picture, but it sounded amazing.

My cheeks heated, and I ducked my face. “I’ve never made love.”

His fingers stilled, just along my collarbone. “Never?”

I shook my head. I’d never been in love before either, but Noah was changing that.

Time suspended, as he seemed to consider this new information. I wanted to make love with Noah, but I wasn’t sure if we were there or if we would ever be there. He was the only person I could picture holding me closely and looking into my eyes, the only person I wanted to share that sort of intimacy with. But maybe he didn’t want to.

I suspected that wasn’t the sort of sex where one person could boss the other around. Stroke my hair tenderly! Look in my eyes! I would have to be genuine, natural, totally of my own volition.

“I want to make love to you, Avery, but…”

I braced for his excuse, unsure if I could take it. “It’s okay. I get it. It can’t be forced.”

“It wouldn’t be.” He untangled our limbs and sat me across from him on the sofa. “Making love to you would be as easy as breathing, but the morning after might kill me.”

I lowered my gaze. “Because of my circumstances.”

“Yes.”

We were back where we started. “It’s only a few more months.”

“I don't know if I can sit around and wait for you to wrap up dating other men. I can put up with a lot of stuff, but not that. Consider it a hard limit.”

“You learned what hard limits are.”

“I learned a hell of a lot more than that. Consider Pandora’s Box opened.”

I smiled, but my amusement was short lived. This wasn’t a joking matter. “I need to talk to Micah.”

“Then do it. Call him and figure this out.”

Micah wouldn’t want to discuss this over the phone. He preferred to discuss such matters in person. I had more leeway in person as well, but I didn’t want to upset Noah. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but I don’t trust him or any of your other … clients.”

“Then give me until the end of the week to sort this out and let me do it my way.”

He reached across the couch cushion and grabbed my hand. “Don’t… Don’t let him sway you, Avery.”

He wanted me to break it off completely. I wanted Noah. The choice was obvious now that we discussed a future. But change was never easy. “I won’t.”

39

Avery

The moment I started the conversation with Micah, he predictably insisted we meet somewhere to discuss our situation face to face. I refused, and he grew frustrated, claiming he needed to take another call. Fifteen minutes later he knocked at my door.

“I wanted to do this over the phone,” I said, letting him into my apartment.

“That’s ridiculous. We’re going to resolve this like adults. Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll fix it.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I changed my mind.”

“Something changed, Avery. We were fine last night. We agreed to wait until graduation to decide—”

“I don’t want to wait.”

His lips firmed. “Is it your neighbor? I can evict him, or we could find you another apartment.”

My hands gripped my head. “No. Don’t you see? This isn’t normal, Micah. I want a relationship, not a business arrangement.”

“And you think he’s the answer?”

“He might be.”

“Avery, what security would you have with him? Relationships have a shelf life.”

“So do business arrangements.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Is that the way you see our association? Over three years and you see me as nothing more than a work colleague.”

“Micah, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” He scoffed and released my hand. “You can’t.”

I drew back at the cold tone in his voice. “I’m sorry?”

“I pay you to be at my beck and call. Everything you have, I provided. I was willing to give you more if it kept you content, but you’d rather be with him. What’s he offering you, Avery? How will you afford to stay here?”

My insides literally shuttered. The gentleman I’d passed three years beside was suddenly replaced with a shrewd stranger. My chin lifted as I hid my uncertainty. “I’ll move somewhere cheaper.”

“You have three months of student teaching. That will be a full-time job, one with no salary. Where will your income come from?”

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”

“That’s what I’m trying to get through to you. You need someone to take care of you. You’re smarter than this, Avery. Use your head.”

“Why are you being so mean? You always knew this wasn’t permanent.”