Buttons and Lace (Buttons 1)

I felt like a whore.

But at least I didn’t feel like a slave.

I went close to him, unsure what he wanted to do, if he wanted me to do anything. The room was dark because we hadn’t turned on any lights. He stood in front of me, towering over me with his height. His breathing remained even. He was calm, like he’d already done this a hundred times.

I knew I should take the lead and get it over with, but I couldn’t. I was frozen to the spot, scared of the moment. He kissed me before, and I enjoyed it. He touched me before, and I liked that too. But I still couldn’t move.

Crow noticed my unease and dug his hand into my hair. He pulled me close to him, our faces touching. The touch was so gentle that it felt familiar, as if he’d touched me like that for years. It was even soothing, just to be held. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the moment I captured you.” The words were harsh, unromantic, but he made them smooth. “I’ve been thinking about it every moment of every day.”

I stared at his lips, watching them move. “Are you going to hurt me?”

He brushed his lips past mine. “No. We’ll take it easy.”

Gratitude washed over me.

“It’s just one button. I’ll use the others more wisely.”

Three hundred and sixty-four more to go.

“Your safe word is fire.”

“Safe word?” I whispered.

“If you want me to stop, just say that word, and I will.”

I had the ability to stop?

“But if you do, you don’t get a button for the night. It’s revoked.”

I felt immense gratitude that he allowed me to have a safe word at all. Bones did horrific things to me, unspeakable things. I couldn’t have stopped them even if I wanted to. But I shouldn’t feel any loyalty to Crow either. After all, he manipulated me into doing this to begin with. “Okay.”

He brushed his lips against mine again before he gave me a slow kiss. It was soft and sweet, containing the tenderness of young love. He kissed me with fragility, slowly coaxing me back to life. With every brush of his lips, I felt warmth flood into my body. It didn’t feel like a deal. It felt real.

He breathed hard into my mouth before he pulled my shirt over my head. He looked down at me with wide eyes, treasuring my body like a chest full of gold. Old scars still marked my skin from Bones’s abuse, but Crow didn’t seem to care.

He pressed his mouth against my neck and gave me a playful bite with enough pressure to make me wince but not enough to make me bleed. He unclasped my bra at the very same instant, making it slide down my arms.

My nipples hardened as his mouth nipped my neck. He gave me soft kisses before he sucked the skin aggressively, bruising it with his excitement. My hands automatically moved to the crooks of his arms, where his biceps curled. I felt the muscles underneath my fingertips, loving how strong they were under my embrace.

His mouth moved to my ear, and he nibbled on my earlobe, breathing hard into my ear canal. His arousal was amplified. I could feel how much he wanted me. I could feel his desperation in his quiet growls.

His hands moved to my hips, and he undid my jeans before he yanked them off with a violent shove. He kneeled down to help me get them off. My hands moved to his shoulders, and I held on for balance, feeling the muscles shift under his perfect skin.

He pulled my thong off as well, getting it past my ankles before he tossed it aside. When he rose to his feet, he eyed me with possession. I was entirely his because he’d paid me for the night. He could stare and gawk all he wanted. His hand moved to my leg and touched the old scar Cane had left. His fingers touched it lightly, silently apologizing that it happened at all.

“It’s okay,” I whispered.

My words brought him back to the moment, and he pulled his t-shirt over his head, revealing his perfectly chiseled body. He ran every morning and ate nothing but protein, but he still looked too good to be real. His body was ripped and toned, lines of muscle connecting to new lines of muscle. If he and I met in a different reality, perhaps on the subway during the morning commute, I’d feel much differently. I’d ask him out right on the spot and hope he wasn’t already taken.

He removed his sweat pants and boxers next, proudly revealing his machinery. His cock was longer and thicker than Bones’s. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

I stared at it, unable to believe I was going to fit that inside me.