Buttons and Lace (Buttons 1)

My heart was palpitating a million miles a minute, and I felt sick to my stomach. Visions from the dream played out right in front of me, slowly dissipating like smoke on the wind. Even when the images left my mind, fear still wrecked my heart.

I got out of bed and let my feet carry me. I left my bedroom and walked up the stairs until I was on the third landing. His bedroom was down the hall, and I walked as quickly as I could without running.

I reached for the knob and turned it, but it was locked in place. It wouldn’t budge. I pounded my fists against the door and hoped he would hear me from his bedroom. When my hands grew tired, I rested my forehead against the door and tried to remain calm. It was just a nightmare. Bones couldn’t get me now.

The door opened, and Crow stared at me with an expressionless face. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his hair was slightly messy from rolling around in his bed. He only wore his black boxers. “Button, what’s wrong?”

I moved into his chest and rested my cheek against his slowly beating heart. “Nightmare.”

He enveloped me in his arms and rubbed my back gently. His chin rested on my head, and he quietly consoled me, his affection doing most of the work.

When I was in his arms, I immediately felt better. I was soothed just as I was when I slept with him. I loved my room, but I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to sleep beside my dream catcher. I moved from his embrace and headed to his bedroom.

He grabbed my hand and steadied me. “What are you doing?”

“Going to sleep.” I pulled away.

“You can’t sleep in here.”

I turned his way, assuming I’d heard him wrong. “Excuse me?”

“You can’t sleep in here,” he repeated. “This is my room—not yours.”

“I slept in here last night.”

“That was a special circumstance.”

What was his deal? “You slap me around and fuck me, but you won’t sleep with me?” I couldn’t keep the anger from escaping my throat. “I had a nightmare, and I don’t want to be alone, but you’re turning me away anyway?” It hurt that I was opening myself up to him and showing my vulnerability, but he didn’t give a damn.

“I’ll go to your room and lie with you until you fall asleep.”

That just made it worse. “So you’ll only do it completely out of pity?”

His eyes darkened in irritation. “I don’t know what you expect from me. I’m your master, and you’re my slave. I’m not your boyfriend. I’m not even your lover. I don’t owe you a damn thing.”

That was a slap in the face. “Fuck you, Crow.”

He stood there in silence, still as a statue.

“I should have killed you when I had the chance.” I stormed off and slammed his door behind me. I was so pissed I couldn’t see straight. My heart had come to care for him, even rely on him, and for him to cruelly reject me made me feel stupid. It made me feel more than just stupid. It made me feel like a goddamn fool.

Too blind in my rage to see where I was going, I practically ran down the hallway until I reached the stairs. I tripped on a step and rolled painfully to the bottom. My body hit the tile, and I lay there, feeling pain all over my body, particularly my ankle.

I didn’t get up because I had no motivation. I had no reason. I’d just hit rock bottom, and I knew it. I looked across the room and saw the entryway in the distance. My whole life I’d always gotten back on my feet the second I collapsed. Defeat was something I never accepted. But now, I welcomed it.

Quick footsteps sounded behind me and stopped when they reached me. Strong hands scooped me from underneath and lifted me into the air.

I didn’t need to look to know who it was.

Crow carried me into my bedroom and placed me on the bed. He quickly looked me over, examining me to make sure I wasn’t hurt. He felt my ankle with his fingertips to make sure it wasn’t sprained.

How could he throw me out so coldly but then attend to me like he cared? “I’m fine. Go away.” I kicked his hand away and crawled up the bed until my head reached the pillow. My sweat had evaporated from the sheets, and it didn’t feel as damp.

His body sank into the mattress beside me, and he placed his arm around my waist. His chest was pressed into my back, and his breaths fell on the back of my neck. “I’ll be here until you fall asleep.”

“I’m fine. You can leave.”

He stayed put, keeping his arm tightly around me.