Buttons and Pain (Buttons 3)

She pulled my hips further into her, increasing my pace and making my balls smack against her ass. She widened her legs to allow me room and she prepared for the moment of ecstasy. She must have felt my cock tighten inside her because she said, “Oh yes…”

I held her tightly against me as I released, wanting to treasure this high forever. The sex wasn’t just good because she was beautiful. It was amazing because we had a connection. Apart, we’d been through hell. And together, we found peace. Having to give that up made me more terrified than I’d ever been. I held her tighter to chase away the sorrow. I wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as I could before I had to say goodbye forever.

When I pulled away her eyes were looking into mine. The passion faded for a moment as the same thoughts entered her mind. Together, we were strong and indestructible. But the moment we were apart we were equally weak. She missed me before I was gone.

And I missed her too.

***

Neither one of us slept that night. If we weren’t making love we were staring into each other’s eyes and memorizing the details to treasure on a different afternoon far into the future. I didn’t have any pictures of her because I never took the time get a photo. Stupidly, I thought she would always be right by my side.

Her hand cupped my face and she gave me an unexpected kiss. As the hours passed she became more affectionate with me, giving me all the embraces she wouldn’t have the pleasure of giving me later. Her lips were starting to crack from becoming chapped during our nonstop make out sessions but they still tasted like honey.

When the last hour arrived she clung to me harder, and every last wall she erected came falling down. She rested her hand over my heart and felt the beat of my heart. She used to do the same thing when we fell asleep together. The sound must soothe her.

I waited for her to change her mind, to realize settling for most of my heart was better than losing it entirely. But the sadness only increased in her eyes and she stuck to her guns, refusing to settle for anything less than what she deserved.

The sun had already crept into the city and pressed against the black curtains covering her bedroom window. I didn’t look at the time but I knew the minute hand was going fast. Our doom was fast approaching, and soon I’d have to walk out without looking back.

Within the blink of an eye, my alarm went off. I had to stop by my hotel room and grab my bag before my driver picked me up and took me to the private jet waiting at the airport. The alarm continued to sound on my nightstand until I finally grabbed it and silenced it with the swipe of my thumb.

That’s when she started to cry.

Button had never cried like that before. She was always so strong and resilient. The only time I saw her break down was when she realized how much pain I was in over Vanessa. She wept because she understood my pain. She carried with me.

But now she was crying for her own heartbreak.

“Button…” I cupped her face and pressed my forehead to hers. I wanted her tears to stop but I also loved watching them. She was so cold when I came to New York but she was only trying to push me away because she was just as in love with me as she’s always been. This was just as hard for her as it was for me. “Shh…”

She took a deep breath and silenced her tears, swallowing them down her dry throat. She sniffed before she wiped her nose, her eyes red and wet. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I hated listening to a woman cry, but it was a different situation when it came to her. I kissed the corners of her eyes and absorbed her tears onto my lips, treasuring them like diamonds.

She blinked her eyes quickly to dispel the moisture.

I got of bed and began the painful task of dressing myself. I pulled on my boxers and jeans then pulled the shirt over my head. They were wrinkled and cold from sitting on the floor all night long. They didn’t fit the way they used to, not because they had changed, but because I had.

She pulled on her clothes and stopped her tears completely. Her eyes were slightly red, and that was the only evidence that she had cried at all.

We walked to the front door and faced each other.

I wanted to ask her to come with me, but I didn’t. I knew what her answer would be.