Buttons and Pain (Buttons 3)

“If you married her she would be a Barsetti.”

Who said anything about marriage? I’d never said that work to Cane in my life.

“And…I would like it if she were a Barsetti.” He rubbed his palms together as he stared down at his hands. “Our family just keeps getting smaller. One day, there will be one of us left. But Peal can make it bigger. She can make our family grow.”

When I finally understood what he was trying to say I couldn’t hide the surprise on my face. It was hardwired into my features and hadn’t faded away. Cane wasn’t just fond of Button. He wanted her to be one of us.

“She could be my sister. And he she could give you kids. Our Barsetti family would grow. Maybe one day it’ll be complete again.” He shrugged. “I don’t know…”

“If extending our family is important to you, why don’t you get married?”

“Because I don’t love anyone.” He leaned back into the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve never met a woman I could somewhat tolerate. I’m just with them for the pussy and that’s it. If I ever met someone that I couldn’t live without, you bet your ass I would marry her. But let’s be real, women like Pearl don’t grow on trees. I doubt I’ll ever find a woman like that.”

Button was spectacular. The second I heard her speak I had to make her mine. There was something about the fire that burned in her eyes that drew me to her. I thought I wanted to hurt her myself but in the end I only wanted to protect her. Whatever hold she had over me was powerful. She had more control of our relationship than she ever truly realized. “They’re hard to come by.”

“So why are you letting her go?”

I already explained this to him but I guess I’d have to repeat myself. “Cane, we can’t love anyone. If we do, they’ll be killed. You know that. I know that. It’s just how it goes.”

“To me, it seems like Pearl already has a price on her head. So what does it matter?”

I drank my scotch to mask my silence.

“You already love her and she loves you. What does it matter if you don’t actually say it out loud? You proved it a million times over yesterday when you went ape shit crazy on all of Bones’s men? Just accept the fact she’s in your life, and not just now, but forever. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by lying to yourself. Be a man, Crow.”

“Be a man?”

“Yes,” he snapped. “A real man doesn’t lie about how he feels. He tells the world he loves someone and dares his enemies to hurt the woman he adores. A brave man has holes in his armor but goes to war anyway. A fierce man isn’t afraid to love someone even though he knows there’s an ending down the road. That’s what it means to be a real man, Crow. This stupidity you’ve been doing is just pathetic. And that’s saying something coming from me.”

***

Button turned over under the covers and pulled the blankets to her shoulder to fight the cold. Her eyes were still closed and her lips were relaxed with peace. Dark strands of hair stretched across the pillow and marked most of the bed as hers. She was a tiny thing, but she stretched out her legs and took up most of the bed on her own.

Her hand stretched out and felt the sheets beside her. Her fingers dug into the fabric, searching for something to grab. When she didn’t find what she was looking for, she stretched her arm further and released a frustrated sigh.

Watching her suffer was too much to bare, so I slid into the sheets beside her and allowed her hand to finally locate my hard chest. Once her fingertips felt the warmth of my skin she dug her fingertips slightly into the skin and claimed me as hers.

My hand met hers and I interlocked our fingers together. Her fingertips were petite and soft, and they were nearly half the size as mine. She never did her nails like most women. Her appearance had always been simple and clean. She hardly wore make up because she didn’t need it. Her fair skin and naturally beautiful eyes was more than enough.

I stared at her thick eyelashes and waited for them to move. Any moment now, the queen of my estate would open her eyes to a new day. Exhausted from the hell that unleashed yesterday, she slept over twelve hours to recover. I was still concerned she needed to go to the hospital but she assured me that was unnecessary.

Finally, she opened her eyes. Brilliant and bright, her eyes sparkled like a birthstone. Magic and excitement mixed with the fog of sleepiness. Her beauty was unparalleled, and sometimes it simply didn’t look real.