Buttons and Pain (Buttons 3)

Hopefully, she was living alone.

Maybe the person she was with before was a girlfriend. Maybe she steered clear of men altogether after everything she’d been through. She told me she didn’t trust men and never would again.

I hope she meant it.

It was none of my business what she did now that she wasn’t mine anymore. She could sleep with her whoever she wanted. She could get married if she wanted. She could pop out a couple of kids. It didn’t make a difference to me.

But every time she went back to the Park Avenue apartment I got nervous. If she were sleeping with someone it would kill me. I tried to fool myself with a lie but it didn’t work. Maybe it was jealousy or maybe I still felt possessive. All I knew was, I would die if she let anyone touch her.

My office door opened. “Crow?”

I recognized her voice immediately. “Hello, Jasmine.” I locked the screen of my phone and hid the GPS signal still going strong in New York. She must want me to know where she is otherwise she would have removed the tracker. Unless she just forgot about it. Maybe she didn’t give a damn about me at all.

I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.

Jasmine approached my desk. She wore a skin-tight dress with sky-high heels. Her hair was thick and curly, and she wore so much make up she almost looked like a prostitute. “How are you?”

“Good.” Horrible. “You?”

“Great,” she said. “International business is really booming.”

“That’s great.” I don’t care.

“So…I heard through the grapevine your visitor left a few weeks ago.”

I should have known she was in here for a reason besides business. “Who told you this?”

She shrugged. “I can’t remember.”

It wasn’t Lars. He would never tell anyone. The only other person who knew was Cane. He had a big mouth so he was probably the culprit.

“So, that means she’s really gone?”

“Yeah. She went home.” I need some scotch. My throat was closing up and I suddenly felt warm.

“I see.” She pursed her lips together to hide her smile. “How about you and I get dinner after work? I would love to catch up.”

Desperation was not attractive. This woman tried so hard to be with me but I didn’t understand why. I wasn’t particularly nice to her and our relationship didn’t last long. It was my fault for dating a member of the staff. I should have known better. “I don’t do back-to-backs.” That was a rule I made up on the spot. It was true enough. Very rarely did I hook up with an old lover unless it was spontaneous. What Jasmine was doing was the direct opposite of spontaneous. It was forceful—and annoying.

She sat at the edge of the desk and flipped her hair over one shoulder. She was trying to be sexy, but once a woman had to try she missed the mark. “Oh, come on. I’m available and so are you, master.”

She was trying to hit my trigger with that keyword.

It didn’t work.

Buttons never called me that. She never called herself my slave either. She only gave part of herself willingly, the part outside the playroom. I should have known then we were headed to destruction. “Jasmine, you’re a beautiful woman but it’s not going to happen. Don’t make me say it again.”

She stiffened on my desk, the rejection stinging like salt in an open wound. She tried to shake it off by standing and soothing out her dress. “This ship is leaving the port, Crow. You’re going to miss your chance.”

I didn’t want a chance. “I understand. You deserve someone better than me anyway.” She wanted someone to buy her chocolates and flowers for an anniversary. She wanted a man to marry her and vow to love her forever. She wanted so many things I was incapable of giving. So many things I didn’t want to give.

“Crow.” She leaned over the desk, her eyes level with mine. “There is no one better.”

***

I sat in my study and stared at the fire. That was how I spent all my free time. I looked into the flames and lived in the past. That dark brown hair swept across my fingertips, and those slender legs wrapped tightly around my waist. The flames in the hearth only reminded me of the fire deep in her soul.

She wouldn’t leave.

A knock sounded on the door before it opened. “Your Grace, Cane is here to see you.”

I hadn’t seen him since Button left. He called a few times but I didn’t answer. Once she was gone I lost motivation to do anything. Even when I went to work I didn’t get anything done. I just sat there and looked out the window, daydreaming about the afternoon I spent with her at the beach. “Send him in.”

“Yes, Your Grace.” Lars shut the door.