Buttons and Blame (Buttons 5)

I took a seat beside her.

She didn’t look at me or acknowledge me. Her eyes were focused far ahead, looking deep into the night. There was a breeze, so the leaves of the trees rustled and moved. The property was surrounded by grapes and olive trees. I’d spent my life growing up here, and while there were painful memories, there were a lot of great memories too. It’d been in my family for generations. It would be difficult to ever part with it. I’d imagined growing old here with Button. Hopefully, that would still happen.

I stared at her profile, willing her to speak to me. I knew she was in a bad mood, still upset about the decision I’d made. But it didn’t matter how hard she fought me, she wouldn’t get her way. I wouldn’t be able to risk my life knowing she was risking hers. I had to keep her safe. It was my entire life’s purpose.

“I hope you aren’t still angry with me. Because I would hate to spend my last night with you like this.”

She closed her eyes for a long time, like my words pained her.

I waited for her to say something, to snap out of this mood. Maybe my words made her feel guilty. I hoped she felt guilty. I was only trying to do the right thing for her. If I did otherwise, I would be a terrible husband.

“I’m not angry with you, Crow. And I think I should go to Santorini with Lars.”

She’d actually come to her senses.

But she never came to her senses.

She always fought me tooth and nail, refusing to give up until it was over.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t suspicious. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”

She opened her eyes again and gave a slight nod. “It’s for the best.”

I liked it when she was cooperative like this. Made my life a lot easier. But this wasn’t the woman I married. My wife was fiery, argumentative, and so stubborn I wanted to strangle her. “Why are you being so reasonable right now?”

She continued to stare straight ahead, not looking at me.

I knew there was a reason for her attitude change. I could feel it all around her. Her mood was entirely different. She was docile, submissive, quiet. She was sitting outside in the backyard because she was contemplative. She’d been thinking about this all day.

“Button?” I pressed.

She finally turned her face my way, and in the light of the moon, I could see the reflective moisture in her eyes. I could see the way they shone with emotion. When she blinked, a tear bubbled over and streaked down her face. “Because I’m pregnant.”

It was the last thing I’d expected her to say, but when the words hit my brain, they had no impact at all. They bounced right off, not penetrating my hard exterior. It took long seconds for me to digest what she said, to absorb it until it finally took on meaning.

I was going to be a father.

Button was having my baby.

I watched the tear roll all the way down her cheek until it reached her chin. It pooled into a heavy drop before it fell to the chair underneath her. Normally, I wiped away her tears with my thumb. Sometimes I kissed them, tasting the salt on my tongue. But now I just stared at her.

The timing couldn’t be worse.

I was about to risk my life to save Adelina. I might not survive. I could leave Button and my baby all alone. She was smart and strong, and she had millions to cushion her through life. But it would be so much easier if I were around to take care of them both. My baby might grow up without a father. My wife would be a widow.

They would be alone.

I knew this wasn’t intentional, so I couldn’t be angry. We hadn’t talked about raising a family just yet. It was something on Button’s mind, but we had years before we had to talk about it. This was sudden, unexpected.

Button watched my reaction, her eyes glued to my face. She didn’t break down into tears, but the fear was in her expression. She was afraid of what I might say. She was afraid of my disappointment, my anger.

I wasn’t disappointed.

I wasn’t angry.

I wasn’t sure what I was.

I didn’t consider myself to be a family man. Raising kids didn’t fit into my limited patience. But the idea of making something with the woman I loved, having something that would outlive us both, made my chest feel warm. Just as Cane and I were the legacy of my parents, I would have my own legacy.

How could I be anything less than happy?

My wife continued to watch me, scared and uneasy. She knew I wasn’t ready for this. She knew a baby didn’t fit into our plans.