To Have and to Hold

“I’ll call Rose and tell her there’s a change of plans,” I reply.

The rest of the day, I think about next Saturday, and I watch the three people I love most laugh and play, adding the icing to this cake.

Chapter 6

Gideon

The last week has been beautiful with my wife. There is a change in the air, the presence of hope.

“Daddy, why do you like strawberries on your french toast?”

I smile down at Junior next to me. It’s Friday morning, and I wish I didn’t have to go into work, because tomorrow I get to remarry my wife and then bring her home and reclaim our connection.

“Because I like strawberries, and that’s how Mommy makes them for me.” I peer over at Lilac and Scarlett at the kitchen counter finishing up some school project, and my wife looks back at me. Shooting her a wink, I lick my bottom lip and look her over, from her face to her breasts then back again.

The sexual tension has been building and building, making it hard to stay true to the plan that we would wait until after the renewal of our vows ceremony to make love.

“Stop,” she mouths with a shy twist of her lips, and I bring my attention back to Gideon.

“You and Lilac excited to see Mom and Dad renew our vows?” I ask.

“Why are you doing that, Mommy?” Lilac questions in return. Junior couldn’t care less—a typical boy when it comes to romantic shit.

“Well, we love each other very, very much, and we want to be able to celebrate that. This time, you will get to be there to see us make promises to one another and to both of you.”

“That’s so cool. Daddy, I hope I find someone who loves me like you love Mommy,” Lilac says, and I almost choke on my food. Scarlett giggles. Lord, I hope my baby girl doesn’t. I know how crazy I am, and I can only pray she stays single forever.

“Doesn’t matter, because your brother and I are the only men you need in your life.”

Rolling her eyes, she laughs alongside her mother. “No, I mean like a boyfriend.”

This time, all color drains from my face.

“Scarlett,” I growl for help and feel my heart rate picking up, and she thinks it’s hysterical.

“Anyway, we need to finish this. Let’s shelve the boyfriend talk for now,” my wife sways the conversation, but I’m still lost in my own insanity. How can Lilac know what the fuck a boyfriend is anyway? She’s only five!

I decide right then and there I want Scarlett to drop me off at work so I can see the kids off to school and get in some extra time with her, like we used to when we first got married.

“She’s gonna be the fucking death of me, baby. I thought you were gonna be the one to do it, but no. My little girl is going to take the cake.” I put my hand on Scarlett’s knee, focusing on the road but using that free hand to pick at her jeans, my finger touching and playing with skin through the rips and holes there.

“You wanted a little girl so bad, and you got one. She’s going to get a boyfriend eventually.” Scarlett laughs, and I pinch her lightly. “Ow!” She giggles.

“Don’t fuck with me, baby. I’m not good at this shit. You know how I am over you. Imagine that times twelve. What happens when the first boy breaks her heart? I’ll be locked up.” Stopping at a light, I stay focused on that idea.

“Nah, she’s like her mama. She will wait for the right one and pick him for forever.”

When I look over at her with soft eyes, she looks extra beautiful to me. Makeup-free, her hair in loose curls, and her relaxed look somehow looking more lovely than even a wedding dress.

Bending toward her and using the free hand on her leg to grab her chin, I whisper, “You better never forget it. God, I fucking love you, beautiful.”

Scarlett blushes. Still to this day, I have that power over her, and it’s a power I hold sacred.

“Kiss me,” I demand.

“Yes, sir.” She gives me a lasting kiss that will only get me through maybe an hour apart from her, because I’m that damn needy for her.

The light turns green, and I resume my previous position. Getting to the office, we meet at the front of the car, and I bend, wrapping my arms around her waist. “I love you. You know that, right?” I prompt.

“Yes. And I love you.”

“This is us. Tomorrow. You, me, and the kids—no one else. We are going to make it through. You’re all I want, okay? The only woman I have to have,” I say with conviction, needing her to know that I love only her and that I want us to get back to us.