Wild Tendy (IceCats 2)

Problem is, I’m scared of his answer.

Chapter Thirteen

Nico

The sun warms my face, and I feel the sweet sea breeze as I stir awake. I opened the window before we fell asleep after our really fucking good night together. I wanted Aviva to feel the ocean air when she woke up. It’s my favorite thing about living here. It’s so refreshing, and I hope she likes it too. When she told me she wasn’t a cuddler, I almost screamed out in relief. I told her it was because I get too hot, which is the reason she doesn’t like to cuddle while she sleeps. But really, when I get hot, I sweat, and then it just sits there on us. Freaking me out. It’s fucking gross.

I roll over, excited to see her, only to find she isn’t here. I blink a few times. I know I went to bed with her last night. I sit up quickly, looking around. “Aviva?”

No answer.

And her clothes are gone.

And so are her rubber boobs that I had picked up and placed on the nightstand in the night.

What the fuck?

I throw the blankets off my naked body and head into the living room. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I’m utterly confused. Why would she leave? I thought we’d go to breakfast, hang out, anything other than her leaving.

“Aviva?” I call out, but no answer.

I check the bathroom, the patio, and finally, I accept that she’s not here. I search the house for a note. Something telling me why she left or even her phone number so I can call. Sweat is dripping down my back and beading along my brow. I can’t find any sign of her, and I don’t understand. Did she not have a good time? Did I not satisfy her? Did she not like me?

My throat starts to tighten as I rack my brain, replaying the whole night. The hot touches, the sweet glances, and the talking. We talked a lot. She shared part of herself that she’s never shared with anyone. Why would she do that if she didn’t want to be here? If she didn’t want to be with me? My heart is pounding in my chest to the point that I need to sit down. I lower myself into a chair as I inhale deeply. Did I let her see too much of me? Was I too honest? Was it the come thing? Did she want me to come on her? She seemed okay with it, didn’t even laugh when I went to get a towel. She was understanding, cool, and even with the cuddling thing, she was good. Or at least, she seemed like she was. Fuck. Why the fuck did she leave?

No one has ever left. Usually I have to kick women out of my bed, but she left. Just left. No note, no number, no nothing. Gone. I realize I’m breathing really hard, and I sit back in my chair. I lean my head off the side as I draw in deep breaths and let them out. What if it was all a lie? What if she thought I was a head case? I had mentioned my therapist a few times. Did she figure it out? Fuck me… What the hell happened?

I feel like I’m suffocating. My eyes are crossing, and I feel my skin crawling. What if she figured it out and couldn’t stand to be near me? What if she thought I was pathetic? What if she thought I was a weirdo? I swallow hard before I stand up quickly, reach for my helmet, and then sit on the floor. I slam it down over my head, needing the protection. I cross my arms over my chest, taking in deep breaths and trying to calm down. As the years have passed, I’ve learned how to cope when I get like this. As pathetic as it is, the helmet helps. Maybe Aviva figured that out, or she assumed so when I wouldn’t let her touch it. It is my grandfather’s, though. My safe haven. Through the cage, I stare at the wall as my vision normalizes. My breathing is still heavy, but my chest doesn’t hurt. I take in deep breaths, forcing myself to let them out slowly.

“Is there a reason why you’re sitting on the floor, naked, with your helmet on?” I don’t even look at Chandler or acknowledge him. “Is this some kinky sex game you play? I mean, I get you’re good on the ice, but I’ve never known someone to whack off while they wear their gear. Interesting, though I don’t think I’m gonna try it. I get off just fine with my sexy woman.”

I hear him moving around my kitchen. He is dropping off some food from his mom. She makes me dinners for the week because she spoils me. I lick my lips as I continue to stare at the wall.