Hard Hit (IceCats 3)

“Fuck ’em,” I say simply, not even hearing this noise. “I don’t give a shit about them. I only care about you.”

“Aren’t you worried about what people will—”

“No. Not even a little bit.” The rage that is boiling inside me is scary. “I will physically fight anyone who has anything to say. I am a hockey player. I’ll take a ten-minute major for you any time, any day.”

Her lips curve, and I can feel her heart pounding so unbelievably hard. “I don’t know what that means. But what if it negatively affects your custody battle?”

I note her lack of hockey knowledge. I really need to educate her. “It won’t,” I announce. “I won’t let it.”

“Lilly could.”

“Jaylin, Lilly has nothing to say. She abandoned her child. Nothing. She doesn’t get to say anything. I won’t let her.”

“I don’t want to mess this up for you—”

“Jaylin,” I insist, and her eyes widen. “The custody battle is what it is. I’m going to win because I’m a good dad. It doesn’t matter who I am dating, what color she is, or anything else. I am a good dad, and I will protect my daughter. You said it yourself.”

She nods slowly. “I agree.”

“Then let it go and don’t speak about it again,” I stress, and she nods once more. “I hope you weren’t trying to use that as an excuse to blow me off.”

She scoffs, her fingers dancing along my chin. “I don’t want to blow you off. That’s why I was sitting in my car. I wanted to spend time with Celeste and you, and find myself under you like this, but I’m petrified. But I’m also tired of not chasing my happiness when it comes to a man I want.”

“There’s been more than me?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood, and she grins.

“Not like this. I think that’s why I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be. I want my happiness too, and you are a part of that.”

She takes in a deep breath, her eyes never leaving mine. “You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Her lips tremble a bit, and she closes her eyes. “You’re so certain.”

“I am, and I think you are too, deep inside.” I run my finger down her throat to her chest before bumping her chin with my hand. She opens her eyes then, and a single tear slides down her cheek. I wipe it away quickly, cupping her jaw as I stroke her cheek with my thumb. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

She lets out a harsh sigh before she blurts out, “I was raped.”

Her hand slaps over her mouth, her eyes widen in shock, and it’s easy to tell she wasn’t expecting to admit that so boldly. I wish I could explain the pure, hot fury that explodes through my body. I want to rip off this man’s dick and stuff it down his throat. I have never felt so much rage in my life, but then, I’ve never been on the receiving end of those words from a woman I care about before. “When?”

“When I was in college,” she says slowly and with so much fear in her eyes, I can almost feel her shaking. “The reason I don’t stay with men is because I used to stay over at my ex’s fraternity house a lot. There was a party, and I was tired, so I went upstairs to his room. Next thing I know, I’m being awoken by not only him but his fraternity brother.” She closes her eyes, and my stomach drops, knowing the rest.

“You don’t have to tell me any more.”

She drops her head to my lips, taking in a deep breath as the sob rips through her body. “He held me down as his friend raped me. The whole time, calling me a disabled hoe since I was missing my breasts at the time. He said, ‘This is how hoes get treated.’”

“Give me his name,” I demand, stroking her head, but she doesn’t.

“I blacked out from it all. And when I woke up, he turned it around, saying he found me fucking his friend and that I was nothing but a whore. He was very emotionally abusive, but it wasn’t until after I had fallen in love with him that he started abusing me. I had never been in love before, so I allowed him to behave that way until that moment. I kicked him straight in his dick and left. I transferred out of the dorms to live with my parents until I graduated.”

I’m shaking with anger, but when she lifts her head, her eyes are flooded with tears. “I know it’s crazy, but that trauma pushed me to go to law school. I want to help people, women. I have been able to. What I went through sucks, and I know that, believe me. But it had to happen for me to be where I am.” She is so strong. So resilient.