Hard Hit (IceCats 3)

Best friends. Can’t live without them, even when they’re putting you in your place. “It’s not that I’m in my feelings or even scared. It’s that Lilly isn’t going away. She is going to cause issues, and that makes me nervous.”

“Why?” Nico asks. “Who the hell cares what she thinks? Are her opinion or her actions going to make you love Kirby or Celeste any less?”

I don’t have to think that over to know the answer. “No, not at all.”

“Then she doesn’t matter. And let’s be real, she’ll probably lose custody of Celeste and be out of her life anyway.”

“But shouldn’t he try if she wants to be a family?” I ask once more.

“No, because she isn’t his family. You are,” Aviva says confidently. “Jaylin, I’ve never seen you this happy, this in love, or even this complete. He completes you, as you do for him. You two are meant for each other.”

My heart skips a beat, and I know she’s right. “I know, but I feel like I’m losing myself.”

She gives me an incredulous look. “You’re not. You’re finding yourself. This is who you are. An incredible, loving, supportive woman. And a strong female for that little girl and for Kirby. I swear—” When her words break off and she grunts out a cry, I hold her hand close, kissing the back of her fist. “Just listen to me. Don’t fuck this up!”

I smile against her fist as I nod. When I look at Nico, he’s staring at me with fear and a little excitement in his eyes. He never meets my gaze, so I’m frozen in place. “Here is the thing, Jaylin. Independence is both a gift and a curse. The gift being you know how to live alone and enjoy life. A curse in that you don’t know how to let go of that. You got used to it, and I get it. I do. I was beyond independent. I didn’t think a woman would want me or want to deal with my issues. Enter Aviva, slamming her car into mine—”

“Well, if you knew how to fucking drive!” she screams, but I don’t dare look at her.

Not only has Nico never looked me in the eye, but he has never said this much to me while doing so. A grin comes over his sweet face as he says, “Aviva changed everything for me. She became what I realized I always wanted. A companion. So, really, you gotta ask yourself. Do you want your independence to be your companion, or do you want Kirby?”

I suck in a deep breath as his words burn into my soul. I don’t want independence to be my companion. It’s lonely a lot of the time, and that life sure as hell doesn’t include Celeste. Before I can even comment, agree, or disagree, Aviva yells through another contraction, “He loves you and only wants you! Always has! Always will! Motherfucker, get this kid out of me!”

Nico and I don’t dare laugh; we like living. I feel tears burning my eyes as I hold Aviva’s hand in mine. They brought me the clarity I needed. I’m surprised at how supportive Nico is, but I’m also thankful. I don’t want to throw away this beautiful thing I have with Kirby and Celeste. Truth is, I can’t, and I sure as hell won’t allow some woman who doesn’t deserve the love of my family to ruin it.

Yeah, I said it.

My family.

Kirby, Celeste, and me.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Kirby

* * *

I didn’t sleep at all.

Not even a wink.

I wanted to text Jaylin, try to talk to her, but I decided we needed to think, choose our words more carefully. For her, I’m sure she has already thought it out and is good to go. But for me, I went through every single potential scenario. I prepared for the rejection, for her to tell me she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. That she doesn’t want to deal with my baby mama drama or even be with a dad anymore. It was my greatest fear going into this relationship. Once I got past it, I honestly didn’t think it would come back into play. But with the way she looked at me, like she was so torn over whether our love for each other was enough…

Not only did it piss me off, but it scared the ever-loving shit out of me.

Never once did the idea that Lilly would come back ever enter my mind. I never prepared for this, which is unlike me, but I am beyond happy with Celeste and Jaylin. They are my family, and I didn’t expect to ever have to deal with Lilly again.

I think that’s where I messed up. We didn’t discuss what would happen if she did come back into my life. We only discussed our future, what we wanted, and never gave thought to Lilly and her selfish tendencies. I can’t believe her. I can’t even begin to comprehend letting her around my child. She abandoned her. She didn’t want her, so why should she get to be in her life now?