Dump and Chase (Nashville Assassins Next Generation 1)

“I’m so mad. I want to kick him. Straight in the balls.”

Amelia flinches. “I would highly oppose that. You’ve already been to jail once for assault.”

I roll my eyes. “I didn’t even hit him that hard.”

“You broke his nose.”

“He deserved it,” I grumble as I sit back, shaking my head. I want to say I learned from punching Amelia’s ex-husband in the nose and then kicking him square in the boys, but I didn’t. I’d do it all over again if I had the chance. After all the emotional and physical abuse he put her through, someone needed to put him in his place.

Chicago had it right. He totally had it comin’!

It all seems like eons ago. Amelia is happy, and I know that douchecanoe isn’t ruining her vibe anymore. Not when she has Chandler. Not when she’s pregnant. Not when she feels totally and utterly complete. I’m not jealous of her. I’m so unbelievably happy for her, but I am a bit salty. I want to be complete. I want to feel good. I want to feel like I am doing something right.

“I just don’t get it. Everything was so perfect when he kissed me. Even when I knew he didn’t know who he was with, I was good. I lived out one hell of a fantasy, and it was great. But then he goes and ruins it all. He’s obviously so embarrassed by the fact that he slept with me. He doesn’t give two shits about my feelings. He’s so worried about his pride and my mom finding out, he doesn’t care that he is putting me down or making me feel like I was just another fuck.”

Amelia’s eyes widen, and I see tears forming. “Shelli, I love you. You know that, right?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. Why are you crying?”

She wipes her cheek. “’Cause I’m pregnant and emotional. You’re hurting, so I’m hurting.”

My bottom lip puckers out. “I love you too.”

“But, honestly, Shelli. You were just another fuck. You gotta remember that.”

My lip puckers out more. “But I wanted to be more.” A sob rips through me. “See, this is why I should have stopped myself from going there. This is why I’ve never gotten the balls to talk to him before. I care more for him than just a fuck. I always have. Everyone else, we bang, I move on. But Aiden is different. He’s always been different. Only now, he’s just another asshole.”

“I’m pretty sure I told you that,” Amelia reminds me, but I shake my head. “He isn’t boyfriend material.”

“But that’s the thing, I wasn’t out to make him my boyfriend. I just wanted him to enjoy me, respect me—”

“Wait… That fucker didn’t respect you?”

I roll my eyes. “Whoa, momma bear, yes, he was very kind. I mean now. He’s being a dick because he’s scared. Because he knows all I have to do is tell my mom and I’ll ruin him. I thought he knew me… And I think that’s what hurts too. I’ve always been nothing to him. It stinks. I’m a really awesome person.”

“You are,” she stresses. “Way better than that dude.”

“See, and that’s where I struggle. My crush of over a decade just blew up in my face. He should have just stayed a crush.”

“That would have been for the best, I think.”

I close my eyes as my tears leak out. “I feel so stupid.”

“Don’t.”

“Why do I still want him?”

I open my eyes to Amelia shaking her head. “Because I think it’s gonna take more than a week to get over a ten-year crush, Shell.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat as I wipe my face. “I really thought something was going to happen. I thought I would rock his world, and he’d want me. Why doesn’t he want me, Am?”

Tears are falling down her face as she gazes back at me. “Because he doesn’t see what an amazing—”

“He’s never seen me. It’s like he’s fucking blind.”

“Well, how can he see you with all that hair in his eyes?”

I pout. “I can’t laugh right now.”

“Fine. He’s a dumb boy.”

“He is,” I insist as I shake my head. “But he’s actually brilliant.”

She rolls her eyes. “He can be book-smart but dumb in common sense.”

I shrug as I sniff. “Yeah. I just wish that I didn’t care. That he meant nothing to me, the way I mean nothing to him.”

“It’s gonna take time.”

“I guess,” I say, blowing my nose and clearing my throat. “I don’t have a plan either.”

“A plan?”

“Yeah,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “Like, you’re a hotshot gym coach, and you’re pregnant, getting ready to marry the love of your life, and I’m nothing.”

“Wow, okay, changing gears,” she says, nodding. “For one, shut up. You are more than nothing, and you know it. And two, I want to rip Aiden’s face off for making you feel like this!”