Wrecking Ball (Hard to Love 1)

Still wearing a very determined scowl, he says, “No, I mean why do you have to leave?”

“Calvin...” Again, he’s staring at my lips with a hunger in his eyes that I’m not too far gone to notice. He looks like he’s a hair’s breadth away from diving onto me. Something’s holding him back, though. My heart speeds up, pounding inside my chest. He drops my wrist and rakes his fingers through my hair, gripping at the root. My entire body shudders from the pleasure. And then his soft, pouty lips are on mine. The kiss is tentative, exploratory. He’s trying to figure out what I like, and when I sigh and sag against him, he slants his mouth and deepens the kiss.

I’ve only kissed one person my entire life. Technically, two if I count that drunk dude in college that grabbed me as I was leaving a frat party and stuck his tongue so far down my throat I could feel it in my gut. And yet this feels…well, it feels familiar. And it feels right. It feels so right it scares the living shit out of me because this is no fugazi. This is the real thing.

He pulls me closer. He’s stopped fighting it, whatever it is was that was holding him back. He’s a man possessed now, making love to my mouth like he’s been dying to do it, like I’m everything he’s ever wanted. And all that keeps running through my mind is yes, yes, yes! Shifting, I roll onto my back and he follows me, settling between my thighs with remarkable agility.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. His erection is rock solid and pushing against the inside of my thigh. I mean…I knew he was hung but the feel of him is something else altogether. It lights me up, calling into action every cell in my sex starved body. I run my hands over the amazing landscape of his back, every muscle hard and hot––like the rest of him. They move down to the swells of the most perfect ass the good Lord has ever created. I squeeze twice because I can, damn it. And in return, he rolls his hips, hitting me in just the right spot.

Holy frigging crap!!

“Cal,” I whisper-moan. His big hand covers my breast. Two fingers pluck at my nipple and I almost shoot off the bed. I feel his lips smile on the skin of my throat. Right before he scrapes it possessively with his teeth, then licks the abrasion.

That’s going to leave a mark. Doesn’t matter. Does. Not. Matter. There’s so much desire bleeding through me at the moment, I’m at risk of forgetting my first name. His hips have mine pinned to the mattress, his dick pressing right into my sweet spot. And I am lost, drunk on the delicious sensation of his weight and smell and touch. His head comes up. My eyes flutter open, and the sexy beast staring down at me with a wicked grin and a mischievous sparkle in his eyes circles his hips. I gasp, my eyes wide and rolling back in my head. He covers my mouth with his hand.

“Stay with me.”

Huh? Did I just hear that right? I come to my senses for a super brief moment and meet his eyes. Uh oh, he has that look, the one that’s won him championships and––stuff. He rubs against me again and a shiver races up my spine and curls my toes.

“You don’t have to leave. Stay here.”

“Wha bu I iss.” I peel his hand away from my mouth and stare into the eyes of the man I love. The determination and anticipation I find there kills me. Because in those crystal clear eyes rimmed in steel blue, I also see my destruction.

My heart starts to pull back, retreat. It knows it’s in danger of being broken. Irreparably, this time. I’m in trouble, deep shit actually. I don’t ever remember exploding into love with Matt like this. Our progress was slow and methodical. It started as puppy love and stayed the course until we inevitably got married. I never questioned when, or how we fell in love. It seemed to me like I’d always been in love with Matt. But it never felt like this. This is something else entirely. I can’t stay. If I stay, he’ll ruin me. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that he’s attracted to me. I just can’t mistake this for anything other than lust. He doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t want a family. And who can blame him.

“Calvin––” My voice is soaked in regret and yearning. Nothing to be done for it. He kisses me passionately, swallowing up whatever else I am about to say.

“Don’t decide now. Think about it. Now shut off the light.”